Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, December 5th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The St. Petersburg Times Forum in Tampa, Florida
Results by Tony Acero of 411
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
Lawler and Cole are behind the booth and we are in Tampa, FL. We start the show with that guy who is taller than Hate, John Cena!! The crowd is heavy with boos as he makes his way to the ring. The camera man shows plenty of kids in the crowd, nice touch. Cena laughs a bit before pointing out that last Monday was pretty interesting. He brings up The Pit and wants to take a second to thank Roddy, first for being a friend, for being a WWE Hall of Famer and for being a part of the WWE Universe. He points out how we tell him exactly how we feel about him and that’s all Piper did last week. Did he want to hear those words? Absolutely! There is no show without all of the fans, it’s pretty cut and dry; if we don’t watch, they don’t work, so we have earned the right to tell him what we think about who he is. He respects the boos, he loves the cheers. He says that we are so crazy that we’ve chanted such things as “Fruity Pebbles” which gets a smuttering of it. He says that’s what makes wrestlers come out. The reactions are not new. He’s not making a big deal out of it, but people are. Cena says the big deal last week was the slap…not Roddy’s slap, no, the slap of the mat when CM Punk defeated Alberto Del Rio to retain the WWE Championship. Cena says Punk needs a Number 1 Contender….oh noooooo. He says the only thing bigger than Rock vs Cena is Rock vs Cena for the WWE Title. So CM Punk, if you’re listening….
But here’s Del RIo to interrupt. He wants Cena to stop right now. He says Cena isn’t getting a title match, because the match is for him, Del Rio. It’s his! Cena wants to know what part of You Lost doesn’t Del Rio understand? Everyone saw it. Del Rio says that they don’t matter, referring to the audience and us. He may be on to something. Last week, Johnny Ace said that if Punk got himself intentionally disqualified, Del Rio would be the new WWE Champ. Cena brings up that they lost. Del Rio wants to show us something though, and it’s the end of the match form last week when he uses the turnbuckle to finish the match. Del Rio says that THIS is Punk cheating and did it on purpose. It’s not Del RIo’s fault that the ref didn’t see it, it was illegal. He should be the NEW WWE Champion. Cena, that right there is inevit—-
EXCUSE ME!!!! Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler are out. Vickie says that neither of the two in the ring deserve a WWE Championship match. She is standing with the only RAW Superstar who does deserve one: Dolph Ziggler. Dolph thinks that Cena and Del Rio disagree? Which one of them beat Randy Orton last week on RAW? Which one of them is the longest reigning champion in the WWE? Which one of them two has the most entertaining match….on purpose? hahaha. Cena says, well the answer is the caddy? The cheerleader? Oh, the SHOW OFF! He heard Cole say it 20 times last week. That’s right, the Show Off. But Cena thinks that a better name would be to replace Show with Jerk. Ziggler says it’s not showing off if you back it up every night. Cena says how can he claim to back it up every night when the one man who wants a shot and deserves it won’t get it? Ziggler wonderes if beating a dead-horse is trending right now… Ziggler says that the next title shot is going to him
The Miz comes out with a scowl! REALLY?! REALLY?! Miz has some news, The Slammies are next week and you are looking at the man who beat John Cena at Mania, the man who’s title reign was longer than a month and the man who doesn’t need Vickie to get a reaction. If anyone gets a WWE Championship match with CM Punk, it’s…
Johnny Laurinitis cuts The Miz off and introduces himself. He has been falsly accused as being a boring executive figure head, incapable of making creative decisions. He will shatter that now. Each of the four three men will go against a Smackdown Superstar of his choosing. Whomever wins will face CM Punk at TLC. We will also have a contract signing tonight as well. He says that Cena will be the only one not facing off against someone but he has a “social experiment” for him and wants Cena to come meet him. As for Miz, his match is next and it’s against….Randy Orton!
Match 1: Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Lock up to start and Randy turns it into a side headlock. he hits the ropes and shoulder blocks Miz down. Another lock up but Miz takes over this time with some rights and lefts until ssending Orton to the corner and throwing the south paws! Orton turns it around with some rights of his own then hits a nice looking upperrcut. Miz reverses a whip but Orton hits a clothesline then stomps the appendages of Miz. Miz is up and Orton hits a suplex. Miz sends Miz to the ropes and Miz comes back with a kick then a weak bigh boot. Miz with some stomps then drives a knee to the back of Orton and kicks Orton in the head before pinning for 1…2..NO! Miz with the rear naked choke. Orotn fights out with some rights and goes for a high one, but Miz with a backbreaker, neckbreaker combo and a pin for 1…2..NO! Miz with another choke hold from behind. Orton is able to stand and back suplex out of it. Miz rushes towards Orton, right into a clothesline, another, scoop slam! Orton sends Miz to the apron…he’s looking for the DDT, but Miz sends Orton flying over the ropes! The reg starts the count as Miz goes out of the ring and runs….RIGHT into a scoop slam on the outside!!!
Wade Barrett’s music hits and he comes down the ramp as Orton is about to send The Miz in the ring. The ref is at 7. Orton decides to chase Wade Barrett up the ramp allowing the ref to hit 10 and give The Miz the opportunity to face Cena at TLC.
Winner: The Miz (**1/2)
The match was a “going through the motions” type of match. Very simple and very formulaic. I liked the scoop slam on the outside though. Other than that, you’ve seen this match before, just insert someone other than The Miz.
Orton looks upset…as if he was unaware? Dummy! Orton walks down the ramp all super angry, but here comes Barrett with a sneak attack on Orton and sends him to the mat! So, so far it’s Punk vs Miz at TLC. Will Dolph and Del Rio join?
A dubstep filled video montage sells the WWE Network. It still has the same impact in Mute, guys.
In the back, Ryder is talking to Johnny Ace who is busy playing BeJeweled. Ryder shows the amount of signatures he has and Ace says that Dolph has filed a complaint, and he agrees that it shouldn’t count. Cena comes in with a Ryder headband, glasses and wig. The experiment that Ace wants to do is to have a match with Cena vs….Zack Ryder. Ace says that this match needs to happen, because the WWE Universe wants to see it. The crowd boos. Ace tells Zack Ryder that if he wins, he’ll get a WWE US Title match tonight…and if Cena wins tonight, he will get the WWE Title match at TLC. Oh Ace, you sly devil…Ryder and Cena share a stare as we fade out to….
David Otunga is telling Kevin Nash that he will be facing Triple H in a ladder match. It appears that hanging over the ring will be a sledgehammer and whomever grabs the hammer will have a legal right to use it until there is a winner. Nash points out the obvious nature of this. Otunga tells Nash that he will also be in action, tonight. Nash begins to walk away. Otunga wants to know why Nash doesn’t care who he is facing, and Nash says if it ain’t Triple H, there’s no problem. So yes, for the first time in eight years, Nash will be wrestling in a one on one match.
Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring, getting ready to announce the Mexican Aristocrat!
Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring, getting ready to announce the Mexican Aristocrat!
Match 2: Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan has a bandage around his mid-section. Del Rio goes for the head and sends Bryan to the corner. He works on the mid-section immediately then stomps on Daniel Bryan. Del Rio sends Del Rio to the corner again, then whips him, back first into the corner. Del Rio with a whip to the corner, but Del Rio flips over only to be met with a hard hit from Del Rio. Daniel with some kicks but Del Rio with a kick to the gut of Bryan. Del Rio sends Bryan to the corner but Bryan runs back and gets himself a body-scissors and guillotine choke! Del Rio gets to the ropes and Del Rio is able to turn this into a cross arm–breaker! Daniel taps!
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (**)
If they want to keep Bryan in the title picture over on Smackdown, they’re not doing a good job of allowing him to keep his credibility.
Before the following match, we get a video package of Pin-Up Strong, but it turns into…THE “It Begins” video!!! It fades back into the Pin-Up strong video package and….the announcers don’t make any mention of the interruption.
Match 3: Kelly Kelly and Eve (w/ Alicia Fox) vs. Beth Phoenix and Natalya
Natalaya and Kelly to start. Natalya sends Kelly to the corner and tags in Beth. a Double team move as Beth hits a body slam. Beth with a chokehold from behind as Alicia slams the mat like a kid without his Ritilin. Beth with a back breaker. Beth Phoenix is distracted by Fox then gets rolled up by Kelly for the 1…2…3. Riiiight.
Winner: Kelly Kelly (NR)
What the hell was that…besides pointless, of course.
Match 4: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
Hand shake . We’ve got a title shot for whoever wins. Lock up in the middle of the ring. Ryder with a side headlock. Cena kicks in the knee then gets an armdrag. Cena, still with the arm locked, twists it then gets a sideheadlock take down. Ryder tries to de-escalate Cena and hits the ropes. Here comes Cen, but Ryder hooks the arms, hits the ropes then hits Cena into the forehead. Side headlock take down from Ryder as the crowd does some dueling chant. A cute girl thinks he sucks, and I want her number. Ryder hits the ropes, Cena hops over him, arm drag into a rear chinlock. Ryder with a weak back suplex into a flapjack and a cover for 1…2..NO! Ryder with a headlock of his own from behind. Cena lifts up Ryder for the AA but Ryder slips out and slams him down from behind, covers for 1 then holds in another headlock.
Dolph is shown watching in the back with Vickie. Cena is breaking the hold with his uber-strength, so Ryder hits the ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker and a pin for 1…2..no! Ryder quickly locks in a side headlock on the mat. Cena is standing and hits a back suplex to break the hold. Cena sends Ryder to the corner then runs right into some knees! Ryder with a dropkick off the second turnbuckle and a pin for 1…2..NO! Ryder is going up top again, but there’s Cena hoisting him up. No, Ryder drops an elbow or two and hits a tornado DDT from the second rope and a cover for 1…2..NO!!! Ryder is calling for the Ruff Ryder! Cena ducks under it and he hits the shoulder blocks, proto bomb and we are not able to visually comprehend him!!!! Five Knuckle Shuffle! He goes for the AA, but Ryder holds onto the ropes! Ryder drops down and Cena goes for a press but runs into the turnbuckle chest first. He falls down…BRO KICK!!! Ryder is calling for it!! Cena is taking his time to get up. He goes up for it! Cena holds him in the air, though. AA! Pin for 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: John Cena (**1/2)
I liked the match, loved that Ryder got a good amount of offense, but the winner was never in question and as per usual, Cena came back at the end to win it as if the first half of the match didn’t happen.
Ryder is upset about this. He says this was his only shot, this was all he had. Cena is apologetic, and extends out his hand. Cena says to wait one second. Cena walks up the ramp quickly, he’s headed to the back.
We’re in the back. Otunga says that he’s voting for Johnny Ace. Cena walks in and yells at Otunga to bounce. He tells Ace to listen to the people and Ryder put up a hell of a fight and deserves an opportunity at the United States Championship. Ace says he had the opportunity, but Cena won. Cena tries to punk him, but Cena says make it happen. Ace says that Ryder can have the shot at the US Title if…and only if John Cena gives up his WWE TItle match. Let me clear that up…for Ryder to get a CHANCE at a title shot, Cena must give up the shot. Cena contemplates it, then says that Ryder has worked his ass off and no one has ever given him an opportunity…he’s had his shots, he deserves at least one. He gives it up. Ace tells Cena to tell Ryder to get ready, his match is next. This is for the title shot. Color me intrigued. Will Brodus make his long awaited return?!
In case you were wondering whether or not those mysterious Kane masked commercials were for Kane, we got confirmation today when the end is enblazened with “Kane: Ressurected.”
In order to ensure that there is a winner, the following match will be a NO Count Out, no DQ match.
Match 5: Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry
Ryder is noticeably frightened, but down. He runs right into the wall of Henry and Henry clubs him down then kicks him a few times and drops a headbutt. Henry chokes up Ryder and Ryder stomps the foot of Henry! He gets in a flurry of hits but Henry just sends him to the mat. Henry sends Ryder to the corner then outside the apron and squashes his head against the mat. Ryder tries to get some kicks in and does, then slams Henry’s ankle into the ring post. He runs into the ring and hits the Bro Kick! He goes to lift up Henry, but Henry pushes Ryder out. Here comes Cena! He’s cheering Ryder on. Henry with a harsh clothesline. Cena runs into the ring! He lifts up Henry! Attitude Adjustment! He grabs Ryder and tosses Ryder over Henry! 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Zack Ryder (**)
Awww, what a feel good moment! lol.
Ryder looks so elated to get a United States Championship shot….that type of excitement for a secondary title is almost unheard of and is kind of awesome to see. I like.
In the back, Vickie comes out the door of Johnny Ace to tell Ziggler that he couldn’t get the decision reversed, but she found out who he is facing tonight…Sheamus. He and Swagger exchange pleasantries then Ziggler tells Swagger he doesn’t want him ringside.
Match 6: Kevin Nash vs. Santino
Nash comes out with a sledgehammer. Just so you know. Nash with a knee to the chest of Santino. He drops an elbow to the back of Santino then hits a side slam into a pin for 1…2..NO. Santino kicks out. Nash its a Big Boot then drops the straps. He sets up for the Jacknife. Here it is. BAM. Pin for 1…2…3!
Winner: Kevin Nash (NR)
What did we really expect here?
Nash grabs the sledgehammer which is on the announce table outside. He lumbers back into the ring. Santino is pretty scared as Nash sizes him up. He is about to hit hum, but is really just toying with him. He raises the sledgehammer as ten people from the crowd boo. Nash leaves.
Backstage, CM Punk is talking to Evan Bourne. We can’t hear what they are saying, but I can imagine that it’s Punk telling Bourne how the Straight Edge lifestyle assures that he’ll never be taking a 30 day vacation…
Match 6: Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Ziggler ducks a lock up and laughs it off. He ducks again, smiling. Sheamus finds it just adorable. Lock up and Sheamus takes him down hard. He drops a forearm on Dolph’ face then locks in a side headlock. Sheamus hits the ropes then a hard shoulder block. He hits the ropes and Dolph hops over then hits a dropkick and a pin for 1! Dolph gets Sheamus in the corner then slaps him in the face. Sheamus comes back with a hard right and slams dolph’s headinto the corner Sheamus locks up Dolph on the ropes and bangs hard on the chest. That’s called something, but I forgot. Sheamus with a suplex and a pin for 1…2..NO! Sheamus drives the knee into Ziggler but Ziggler hits a uppercut then a neckbreaker and a pin for 1…2..NO! Dolph with some kicks to the chest and face of the fallen Sheamus near the ropes. He goes behind with a cravat, breaking Sheamus down. Sheamus stands and rolls forward, flipping Ziggler over. Ziggler runs, Sheamus flips him over, but Ziggler floats out of it, hits the ropes…Fameasser! Pin for 1…2..NO SIR. Ziggler with a nice combo wrist and chin lock but Sheamus turns out of it and just tosses Ziggler forward. Sheamus with a rough axe handle, another, and one more! He sends Dolph to the corner and hits some hedbutts, some of which look relatively weak. Shemaus with a clothesline, then calls for the Celtic Cross. He lifts him up but Ziggler jumps over. Sheamus with a dash to Ziggler and Ziggler moves and tosses Sheamus to the corner.
Zack Ryder’s music hits! He runs down the ramp and stops just short of the ring. ZIggler is yelling at him then turns right into the Brogue Kick!!! Sheamus pins. 1…2..3!!!!
Winner: Sheamus (***)
Ziggler can truly do no wrong in that damned ring. And Sheamus is no slouch, either! Good match.
After the match, Ryder goes into the ring and gives Dolph a Ruff Ryder! The crowd WOO WOO WOO’s along with him, much to the chagrin to those who say Ryder isn’t over…
This loss means that the main eventt for TLC will be CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. The Miz. Contract signing, up next.
The Miz and Del Rio are both in the ring with the table and clipboards. Johnny Ace gets an intro and here comes the oh so creative Interim General Manager. Ace man says it’s an exciting time to be a part of the Universe. So many things have happened like the introduction of Brodus Clay…wait, when? He says next week is the Slammies and we have a match next week…Mark Henry vs. John Cena. But let’s talk about tonight. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio will be facing CM Punk.
Punk’s music hits, and here comes OUR WWE Champion!!! Punk moives the table to the edgemost side of the ring. He calls this the biggest WWE Cliche. They always end in a pier 6 brawl, and he’d love for that to be trending on twitter right now. And, considering how uncreative and uncharasmatic Ace is, he can make this all easy. Ace can stand there and they’ll sign the doc and get to fighting. Ace says that he is so full of excitement that for the first time ever, the WWE Championship will be defended in a Triple Threat TLC match. Punk says, ok if all that means is that he must beat the guy he’s beaten before and the guy that lost at Survivor Series, then he’s ok with that. Miz wants to talk about what happened since Survivor Series. Truth, Morrison…they’re gone. Punk questions his wording…took them out? Like on a date? Where did he take em? Based on the faux hawk and primadonna attitude, he must have taken them to see the new Twilight flick…not that there’s anything wrong with that….Miz said actually, he took them to the stage and faceplanted them. He injured Morrison so bad Ace had to release him.
ACE TAKES THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WISH JOHN MORRISON IN HIS FUTURE ENDEAVORS! LMAO!!!!
Anyways, Miz says if he can do that to his buddies, imagine what he can do to Punk and Del Rio. He is the most must see WWE Champion of all time. At TLC, he’s taking back what’s his. Punk says that this was a lot of information and one thing he agrees with is that they are not friends. He doesn’t have TMZ on his speed dial and he concerns himself with only one thing, being the best wrestler in the world. Del Rio says that he’s listened to the two of them crying like little girls enough. Punk, the best in the world is here, and it’s Del Rio. 2011, he won everything. Royal Rumble, Money in the Bank and beat Punk at Summerslam, so he’ll end the year doing the same. He is getting the belt and there’s nothing that either man can do about it. Why?
Punk says that if he says it’s because of his destiny, Punk swears to Jebus that he’s going to start drinking. Miz is all super serious. He says, they don’t get it. This isn’t a joke. If there’s one thing him and Alberto can agree on, no matter what happens at TLC, Punk is not walking out champion. Miz signs then hands it over to Ace. Del RIo says Miz is right and signs. Punk is about to sign, but just before he says once he signs, they can fight, right? Ace says no, sign the contract….grabs it and says it’s official. As an executive of WWE, he’d like to wish each man good luck. The crowd chants for a fight. Ace says he’s looking forward to this match and would like for a photographer to come in and take a picture of all of the men…Punk thinks this is a joke. He says even Ace’s contract signings are boring….Punk says, if he wants something done right…he’s gotta do it himself. He drops the mic on Miz then tosses Del Rio to the corner. Rodriguez from behind and Punk goes for the G2S, giving Del Rio the opportunity to take over. He stomps him a bit then tosses out those nice, cushy chairs outside the ring. he sets up the table. We’re about to get Del Rio crushing Punk, but Miz is in! Punk knees Del Rio right into Miz then hits a G2S on Miz. Both the challengers are knocked out as Punk celebrates.
Credit: Tony Acero