Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, February 11th, 2013 (USA Network)
Location: The Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, TN
Results by Ken Hill
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
We recap last week’s Raw, where the Shield got a taste of their own medicine and promise to address Cena and the rest of the WWE Superstars. Also, The Rock is here to face off with CM Punk 6 days before their vaunted WWE Title rematch…what will come of it?
We start with Paul Heyman in the ring. He introduces himself, and informs us this is the last time we will see him, to much raucous cheers. He laments how we cheer for something like that, how they can cheer for him, who created the phenomenon of ECW and saw the potential of vision and passion in the rookie known as BROCK…LESNAR, to leave. Heyman then met a man who was the epitome of what the WWE should be about, who he believed would carry WWE into the long-term future and should still be WWE Champion, CM Punk. We don’t have to be Nostradamus to sense that something bad is going to happen. The Sword of Damocles will fall, and it will not only fall on him, but those around him, including CM Punk. The sins of the mentor will fall unto the protege, and Heyman won’t allow that, which is why tonight he is tendering his resignation. Heyman won’t miss the WWE Universe, as he’s not surprised that they wouldn’t shed a tear for someone who’s willing to make a sacrifice like he’s about to make. He loves Punk, and won’t stand in his way. He says, “Good-bye.”
Punk’s music hits, and he’s out with an unreadable expression, as if he’s unsure what to make of Heyman’s resignation. He seems to be trying to convince Paul to stay. He asks Heyman what he’s doing. Heyman says he is in Punk’s way. Mr. McMahon believes he paid off the Shield and Brad Maddox, and brought Lesnar to take out Vince himself, but that’s mere perception. Punk doesn’t accept that, and says there are a lot of Paul Heyman guys out there who need him. Heyman says in the world of the McMahons, perception is reality, and he won’t be a martyr, only for Punk to suffer at Vince’s hand. Punk says the bad dream will end at the Elimination Chamber, and Heyman will be in the corner of the man who will beat the Rock and “continue” his reign undaunted. Heyman looks inspired and agrees to be in his corner. They embrace like brothers and Heyman almost red-eyed and in tears. The two raise each other’s hands in celebration of Heyman’s “un-resignation.”
Mark Henry’s in action next! SOMEBODY’S WIG GONNA GET SPLIT!
Mark Henry vs. The Great Khali w/Hornswoggle & Natalya
We recap Henry’s swath of destruction in his return last Monday and his qualifying for the Elimination Chamber. We also learn that thanks to Henry, Mysterio is injured and out of the Chamber.
Khali takes it to Henry early, but Henry backs him into the corner with shots to the chest. Khali blocks a charge with an elbow and takes over with some chops, but Henry blocks one and headbutts Khali hard. Big clothesline to Khali, and a World’s Strongest Slam finishes off the Punjabi Playboy.
Winner: Mark Henry
Swoggle and Natalya in to check on Khali. Henry’s still hungry, storms into the ring, and eyes Swoggle like lunch. He grabs the leprechaun and DRILLS him with the World’s Strongest Slam! “THAT”S WHAT I DO!” To the satisfaction of purists everywhere, the action gets a big pop from the crowd, even a “One more time!” chant. Next up for Henry: A return match with the Viper this Friday.
Teddy and Booker T talking about Henry’s credentials, when Jericho approaches them and wants in on the Elimination Chamber as a former 6-time World Champion and Elimination Chamber veteran. Teddy agrees, but Booker says he needs to approve first. Teddy makes a suggestion, but Booker turns it down and says Jericho must prove himself against Daniel Bryan. Jericho says he’s tough, but will take down Daniel “Beard”, go on to Wrestlemania, and become a 7-time, 7-time, 7-time World Champion, mocking Booker before waltzing off.
Vickie Guerrero in her office on the phone, before a loud knock and Heyman comes in. Vickie doesn’t have time for his BS, but Heyman tells her to make time. He has an idea for a stipulation to the WWE Title match this Sunday, but Vickie would have to run it by Mr. McMahon. Heyman scoffs, saying she runs the show in his absence. The phone rings, and it’s Vince, whom Vickie puts on speaker. Paul brown-noses Vince on his recovery, but Vince shuts him up and asks about the stipulation. Heyman says if the Rock should be counted out or DQ’ed, the championship goes back to Punk…and Vince agrees, as long as it’s in writing! Both Vickie and Heyman are shocked by the decision…this won’t end well.
Chris Jericho vs. Daniel Bryan
Jericho with a pair of roll-ups for a two count each, then some sharp arm drags. Bryan comes back with a wrist lock, but Jericho out and off the ropes, but Bryan puts a knee in his gut, delivers some kicks, then a knee drop for a two count. Jericho back up, wrenches the arm of Bryan, and drops him with a chop. Jericho reverses a whip by Bryan, but gets tossed over the rope. Jericho back in with Bryan in pursuit, Jericho tries the springboard dropkick, but Bryan ducks and Jericho falls to the ringside floor. Bryan revs up and hits a Heat-Seeking Missile, and both men seem to be hurting as we go to commercial…
Jericho with another roll-up for two. Bryan reverses a whip and drills Jericho with a corner dropkick. Jericho reverses a whip, Bryan floats over, and hits a clothesline on Jericho. Jericho counters a charge with the Walls of Jericho, but Daniel rolls out. Jericho drops him with shoulder blocks, goes for a Lionsault, but eats knees from Bryan. Bryan up top, Jericho stops him, but Bryan blocks the superplex and knocks him down. Headbutt connects for a near fall. Buzzsaw kick misses, and Jericho tries for the Liontamer, and it’s in! Bryan turns it around and attempts the No! Lock, but Jericho counters right back into the Liontamer! Nice sequence! Bryan rolls through again, and NAILS Jericho with a Buzzsaw kick that gets a close near fall! Bryan laces Jericho’s chest with more kicks, but Jericho counters the last one with a roll-up for two, then Bryan kicks out…RIGHT INTO A CODEBREAKER! Three count! Jericho’s in the chamber!
Winner: Chris Jericho
As Jericho celebrates, we see that he is now in the Chamber along with Henry, Orton, and Bryan. Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback feed on, er, face 3MB in six-man tag team action next!
Six-Man Tag Team Match: Sheamus, Ryback & John Cena vs. 3MB (Slater, Mahal & McIntyre)
Slater air guitars and shoves Ryabck. Uh, no, just no, Slater. Ryback press slams him, and Sheamus is in with clubbing blows to Slater. McIntyre blind tags in, and takes the fight to Sheamus, but Drew gets caught in the ropes by the Irishman and it’s clubberin’ time for McIntyre. Cena in, along with Mahal. Cena hits the Five Moves, but Slater comes in for the save on the AA. Sheamus and Ryback in to even the odds, hitting White Noise, Shell-Shock, and the AA all at once. Cena gets the three count on 3MB!
Winner: Cena, Ryback & Sheamus
Ryback on the mic, and he says the day has come for the Shield. Sheamus tells everyone the Shield is here tonight, and questions why they should wait until Sunday to fight. Cena agrees, says the choice to come here and address everyone was a brave, but stupid one. The Shield meets the Sword, Justice meets the Law, he is Cena, they are Ryback and Sheamus. YOU WANT SOME, COME GET SOME!
We go back to last Friday, with Del Rio’s Guerrero-worthy pranking of the Big Show, including his new “paint job”, which had everyone in stitches. We go to Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu (TATSU & RILEY CAMEO!), who rip on Show getting drenched in paint, before the giant predictably shows up and knocks dem boys out! He scowls and walks off.
Show’s out, and the laughing’s come to a screeching halt as the giant matches to the ring. Striker in the ring, and barely gets a word out before Show KO’s him. Show on the mic, and he seems too conflicted and ticked to get a word out, as the audience heckles him. He tries to calm himself…but just seems to grow angrier with each passing second, and just gives up and leaves in a huff, much to the audience’s delight.
We recap Bruno Sammartino’s historic induction, as well as his rise to fame from Italy to the US, cementing his bad ass status by breaking Stan Hansen’s hand, winning the WWE Championship in 48 seconds and going on to hold the longest ever reign (4040 days) in the company’s history, as well becoming a box office sellout in Madison Square Garden.
Jack Swagger w/Seth Caulder vs. Zack Ryder
Swagger with a waistlock and a slam to Ryder. He drives Ryder to the corner, but Zack with an elbow and a missile dropkick to Swagger. Forearm and a Broski Boot get a near fall. Swagger rolls outside, Ryder flies out after him, but Swagger catches him and drills him with a belly-to-belly suplex. He rolls Ryder back in and clips the knee. He drives a knee into Ryder in the corner. Ryder gets the knees up on a charge, but Swagger catches himon the Rough Ryder attempt and drills him with a buckle bomb! Gutwrench bomb, then the Patriot Act is in and a bloody-mouthed Ryder taps.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Seth (Sev?) Coulter is introduced to us by Swagger as a friend of his. Coulter on the mic, and goes into a spiel about America and how it’s lost its way, about how the country was about real Americans like him and Swagger, not about the people crossing our borders, how he knows the truth behind what has changed America for the worse, and how he and Swagger plan to make us see what it should really about, we real Americans, we the people.
Teddy and Booker agree backstage that Swagger has been dominant and agree that he will be entered into the Chamber. Dolph, along with AJ and Big E., object to Swagger being entered in. Booker wonders why Ziggler even cares, given he chickened out. Ziggler insists he doesn’t
The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
Antonio Cesaro on commentary for the match. Cody with a headlock, but Miz pushes him off, trips him up, and drills him with a boot for two. Cody counters with a kick of his won, and drills Miz with knees, dropping him for a two count. Cody with a neck vice, Miz fights out with clotheslines and a flap jack. Neckbreaker countered by Cody, shoving Miz to the corner. Miz tossses Cody over the ropes. but Cody lands on the apron. Miz slides through and drops him on the apron face first. He jaws off to Cesaro, who goes to hit him, but Miz boots him. Miz catches Cody with a boot and throws him in the ring, but Cesaro rams him into the ring post for the DQ.
Winner: The Miz by DQ
Cesaro beats down Miz, and giant swings him again and again into the barricade! Someone’s been drinking their Swiss Miss!
We’re reminded that the Rock will be here tonight to address the new stipulation for his rematch with Punk, and The Shield will also be here to address the WWE Universe.
Tensai & Brodus Clay w/The Funkadactyls vs. Epico & Primo w/Rosa Mendes
Doesn’t quite look like Tensai has re-embraced his “Hip Hop Hippo” roots yet. Tensai with a headbutt to Primo. Brodus tags in. Primo’s Meeting of the Mind fails big time, but kicks Brodus and tags in Epico, who gets caught with the SHEE-plex, baby! Primo misses an elbow, Brodus hits the headbutt on Epico, Tensai tags in for the senton, nails it, and gets three!
Winners: Tensai & Brodus Clay
Tensai looks to outshine Brodus in the post-match dance-off, but Rosa objects. Naomi and Cameron toss her out, Naomi with a nice-looking fake-out dive, and Cameron with the basement dropkick to take out Rosa! And now we dance!
The Shield out now, to some surprising cheers! Ambrose says the Shield is here to protect us from the atrocities like how Cena threatened the Shield. Rollins questions how Cena and company believe they can stop the Shield with words, The Shield do it with actions. They call out Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback, to no answer. Ambrose says Cena couldn’t do it with half the roster, and he failed, just like he fails every time he gets up in the morning and exists. Cena believes he can smile the day away, do and say what he wants, but that’s not the world we live in, that’s what is called the John Cena problem. Reigns says he’s been the problem for the past decade. Rollins says this Sunday, a decade of injustice ends. They call out Cena one more time, then the lights go out…Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus are in the ring! They beat the Shield down and out of the ring! Ambrose and company try to retreat, but Cena’s group pursues them through the stands and drives them off to raucous cheers from the crowd.
Cole and King hype the six-man tag match for this Sunday, and then recap Heyman’s “resignation”, which segues into Punk coming out and convincing him to stay with the company and rescind his resignation. We’re reminded again that the Rock will address us about the stipulation of losing the title via countout or DQ against Punk this Sunday.
ALBERTOOOOO DELLL RIIIIIOOOOOO is in action next!
Damien Sandow out now, and tells us the abyss of the Grammys are behind us, and we are now in the mecca of Country Music, which is NOT a good thing. It’s all about dead dogs, pickup trucks, and ignoramuses getting their hearts broken, and it’s shameful how we listen to that rather than to Beethoven and Mozart. He’s not here to agitate us, but to save us from our self-imposed stupidity. YOU’RE WELCOME!
Non-Title Match: World Champion Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow starts off quickly with knees and a Russian leg sweep into the Cubito Aequet. Del Rio fires right back with clotheslines and a take down that leads to a thrust kick for a near fall. Sandow back up, but Del Rio cinches in the Cross Arm Breaker, and Sandow taps out quick.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio on the mic, lauding Big Show for his “best promo of his career.” Del Rio agrees with Show’s silence; it’s not about parking lots, buses, or anything else, it’s about Sunday. When Show loses, he can take his huevos and go anywhere, even Mexico, but Del Rio is going to Wrestlemania.
Wade Barrett is in action next, but Bo Dallas ambushes him backstage and assaults him for getting jumped the week before by Barrett! Officials finally managed to pull Dallas off as Wade holds his shoulder in pain.
Non-Title Match: IC Champion Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi starts with some kicks early, which only ticks Wade off from his early assault by Bo Dallas, as he delivers an elbow to Kofi and drills him with some knees. Kofi fires back with some clotheslines, a dropkick, then a unique cross body onto Barrett’s back for a two count. Kofi with a slingshot kick in the corner, then a regular cross body for a near fall. Barrett counters a whip into the Winds of Change for a near fall. He readies the Bull Hammer, but Kofi ducks, goes for Trouble In Paradise, but Wade ducks to the outside. Kofi follows, but Barrett blinds him with the apron skirt and blindsides him with the Bull Hammer to get the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
Wade shouts for Bo Dallas to come out and face him now post-match.
Tag Team Champion Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler w/AJ Lee & Big E. Langston
C.R.A.J’s in the house! Dolph with rights to Kane, but Kane fires right back with some uppercuts and drops Ziggler for a two count, then a suplex for another two. Kane off the ropes into a sharp dropkick from Ziggler. Kane to the corner, and Ziggler delivers some rights, only for Kane to uppercut him, then flapjacks Ziggler to the mat. Ziggler retreats to the outside as we go to break…
Ziggler with a sleeper hold, but Kane snapmares him out of it. Kane with an uppercut and a corner clothesline, but Ziggler gets a boot up. Ziggler up top, but Kane knocks him to the floor. Out by ringside, Langston wards Kane off and distracts him, which allows Ziggler to ram Kane into the barricade. Back in the ring, Ziggler hits Kane with a neckbreaker off the ropes for two. Ziggler with a series of eight elbows for a near fall. Kane counters a cross body, but Ziggler floats out and hits his jumping DDT for another near fall. Kane hits a big boot for a near fall. Kane hits a clothesline, but Ziggler counters into the Zig Zag for a CLOSE near fall. Ziggler tries again, but Kane grabs the ropes and shrugs him off, nailing a sidewalk slam for a two count. Kane up top for the clothesline, AJ tries to distract him. Kane flies off, Ziggler dodges, but Dolph knocks AJ off the ropes into Big E., who catches her. The distraction allows Kane to goozle and drill Ziggler with the chokeslam. Three count! And the Chamber is complete!
The Rock addresses the WWE Universe…FINALLY… next!
Kane, Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Chris Jericho, and Randy Orton are all in the World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Elimination Chamber Match! 6 former World Champions, 1 opportunity to reach the top again at Wrestlemania!
We go through a history of the Elimination Chamber, the last big step on the Road to Wrestlemania, and how no one ever leaves the Chamber the same as they came in…
IF YA SMELLLLLL…The WWE Champion comes out and the crowd is going nuts for the People’s Champion, as per usual! Rocky waits for the crowd to die down a bit. The Rock says it is a special night, tonight’s show is sold out, and FINALLY…THE ROCK HAS COME BACK…TO NASSHHHHVILLE!
Nashville is a very special city to the Rock. He asks us why, and says it’s storytime. When he was 15, he and his family moved to Nashville. He signed up for McGavock High School (cheap pop!). He was big for his size, and got no play from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. He got to hang out in the bar, though, and got drinks. Then, not Jeff Jarrett or Willie Nelson, but a CRACKHEAD came into the bar, offering a beat-up Blue Thunderbird for $75. Everyone but the 15-year old Rock wisely ignored him, and he took up the offer. When he was driving, he heard a sound in the back, and it turned out to be another crackhead, whom the Rock told to get out of his “new ride.” He figured the car was stolen, but instead of taking it to the cops, he left it at a Burger King and walked right back to Tootsie’s Bar. He then mentions his very first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds
Punk’s music hits, and he and Heyman out now, and Rock makes a Twilight joke about Punk and Heyman’s hug from earlier. About the stipulation, he simply says “Bring It” and calls down Punk to the ring to get his ass whipped all around Nashville. Punk and Heyman head to the ring. They stop for a moment, Heyman says “I’ve got your back” and Punk charges into the ring, hammering on Rock, but the Rock with rights to Punk, who reverses and delivers some rights of his own. Rock reverses a whip into the spine-“on the pine”-buster, but Heyman trips him up on the People’s Elbow attempt, and Punk drops Rocky with a Go To Sleep, before absconding with “his” WWE Championship. Punk on the mic, saying storytime is over for the Rock, and every time he decides to bring it, Punk will do what he just did now and TAKE it. He raises the championship in the air as Rocky struggles to get to his feet and we fade to black.
Credit: Ken Hill