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CM Punk
Phillip Jack "Phil" Brooks
  • Birthdate: 8/26/1978 (age 36)
  • Height: 6'1"
  • Weight: 200 lbs

CM Punk ProfilesPhillip Jack Brooks was born on...

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...we almost got to see the debut of Fandango. CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, he is not. A "you can't wrestle" chant breaks out.

Barrett defends his IC Championship against both Miz and Jericho later on tonight.

~Commercial Break~

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow

Truth comes to the ring, rocking some classic "Suntan Superman" pants. Sandow makes his entrance, quoting Henry David Thoreau: "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." Thoreau would roll over in his grave if he saw R-Truth now, considering the "R" must stand for "Repugnant." Truth admits Thoreau was quite the poet, and comes up with one of his own, ending with four sweet words: "You gonna git got!"

The bell rings and they go at it. Sandow takes control with an early pin attempt. Sandow with a headlock now. Truth fights back and rolls Sandow up for 2. Sandow with a clothesline and right hands. Sandow with a suplex and another 2 count. Sandow with a side Russian leg sweep and the Cubito Aequet for another pin attempt. Truth comes back with clotheslines and right hands. Truth with a big head scissors and a kick to the jaw. Truth hits the Lie Detector, but Sandow rolls out of the ring. Sandow walks up the ramp and to the back, getting counted out.

Winner: R-Truth

Time: 3:50

Cody looks on, disappointed with his partner's loss, but the Bellas console him and fawn over his mustache. Kaitlyn comes up and tells Cody she has something going on later so they can't hang out. The Bellas say nobody cares. Kaitlyn says they can have Cody's mustache and he can have theirs. OH NO SHE DITN'T!

The Undertaker is on RAW and he's coming for the urn...NEXT!

~Commercial Break~

***DONG!***

***DONG!***

The Dead Man cometh! The Undertaker makes his mythic entrance down the ramp, in an even more sullen mood than usual due to Punk's actions. He says Punk has sealed his own fate. He made this personal, and he's going to hurt Punk BAD. He's giving Punk one chance: Return the urn, what is rightfully his.

We hear a rather odd falsetto voice similar to Bearer. Of course, it's Punk further trolling Undertaker, and of course he means no disrespect to Taker or Bearer. Punk appears on the big screen and apologizes for not being able to hit the high notes Bearer once did. Punk acts like Bearer is speaking to him through the urn. Punk talks about Taker and juggles the urn around while he speaks. Punk says he is a higher power. Punk says he is the one man in the world who can shoulder the burden of snapping The Streak. Punk says he's ready to walk through hell and receive whatever pain Taker inflicts on him. Punk says he's the one that will end The Streak. Punk drops the urn and says, "Oh shit!" The crowd, the announcers and Taker himself are simply stunned silent by Punk's words and actions.

Brock and Triple H's contract signing is still to come.

~Commercial Break~

We recap Punk's bold words and actions in "accidentally" dropping the urn.

Non-Title Match: Tag Team Champions Team Hell No vs. The Colons w/Rosa Mendes

A distraught, angry Kane lays into Primo before Bryan tags in to calm him down. Bryan takes Primo down with a lariat, the takes him to the corner for some kicks. Primo counters a corner whip with a sunset flip, but Bryan rolls through with a roundhouse for two. Primo tags Epico in, but Bryan arm drags him. Primo is sent over the ropes by Bryan, but Epico ambushes him. The double team by the Colons, who tag in and out to wear Bryan down. Epico back in with a dropkick for two, then a chin lock. Bryan fights out, but Epico takes him down and Primo is tagged in. He hangs Bryan up on the ropes for 2. Rear chin lock by Primo, but Bryan fights out. He gets caught by the foot, but Bryan rolls Primo through. UN TAG FUEGO to Kane! Kane runs into a boot but catches Primo with a big sidewalk slam. Kane knocks Epico off the apron and climbs to the top for a big right hand. Kane calls for a chokeslam but out comes AJ Lee skipping around the ring. Kane gets rolled up for a 2 count as he was distracted. Epico tags in for some double teaming but Bryan makes the save. Kane chokeslams Epico for the win.

Winners: Team Hell No

Time: 6:08

Kane and Bryan stare at AJ confused after the match. AJ blows a kiss to Daniel and skips away to the back.

Chris Jericho