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CM Punk
Phillip Jack Brooks
  • Birthdate: 10/26/1978 (age 38)
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 218 Ib

He was titled in the WWE as "the longest-reigni...

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...knows he's not a top player anymore, and that there's nothing worse than when a superstar peaks too early. Miz is what they call a utility guy: the guy they call when an interview is needed early in the morning, and other smaller tasks. Stephanie orders Big Show to knock Miz out, and he does, without hesitation.

Surprise, surprise! The fans have chosen RVD as Orton's opponent.

Randy Orton vs Rob Van Dam

RVD punches and kicks Orton, leading up to a spinning kick to Orton's head to send him to the mat. RVD hits rolling thunder to get a 2-count. RVD attempts his split-leg moonsault but misses as Orton rolls away. Orton hits his patented DDT through the ropes. Orton looks to be prepping for an RKO. He goes for it, but RVD counters with a kick to Orton's face, 2-count. Van Dam propels off the second rope and kicks Orton in the face again. Van Dam goes up top for a frog splash, but Orton kicks his leg out to send Van Dam ringside. Orton follows out and throws Van Dam against tables and barricades. The match ends in countout as the two never get back into the ring. Orton continues assaulting Van Dam after the match, capping it off with a DDT from the top rope.

Orton approaches the Bellas backstage and tells Brie that he is what a real man looks like, the face of the WWE. Not the goat-faced troll that she dates. If she decides she wants a real man, Orton informs her that he is available.

Backstage, Stephanie gives AJ Triple H's DVD so she can see what a real wedding looks like. AJ suggests that the total divas just take a hiatus with their reality show, and that she is not being treated well enough for a diva's champion. Stephanie says that she will compete in tonight's diva battle royal, or perhaps she will not be champion much longer.

Fandango vs Santino Marella

Fandango locks Santino in an abdominal stretch, while slapping Santino on his side. Santino breaks out and dodges Fandango's clothesline with a split, followed by a clothesline of his own. Santino preps for the cobra, but is distracted by Summer Rae, resulting in Fandango hitting a leg drop from the top rope for the victory.

Winner: Fandango

CM Punk comes out to a huge ovation wearing a Chicago Blackhawks jersey. He says that the crowd ruined his perfect bad mood. Punk knows that he let everyone down at Night of Champions. It will go down in the books that Punk lost to Paul Heyman. Punk ponders if he is worthy enough to perform in front of the best crowd in the world. Punk speaks of how the Blackhawks came back from being down 3 to 1 to win the cup. Punk says that that is the Chicago way and the crowd loves it.

Heyman rolls out on his chair, singing. Heyman says that Punk shouldn't feel at fault for his loss. It's geography at fault. Punk is from Chicago, a city full of second-class people. Punk says he's not stupid and he knows how it will go down when Punk goes after Heyman. Can Heyman's two goons get to Punk faster than Punk can get to Heyman? Even if it's two seconds, Punk says that is all he will need to rip Heyman's face off. Heyman attempts to leave but his chair is not functioning. Punk realizes this and charges for Heyman, but is attacked by Axel and Ryback soon after. Punk gets in a few good shots but can't keep them both down. Ryback overpowers Punk and throws him through a table.

Diva match

Every diva is in the ring. I'm not sure why, because only four of them were involved in the match. I'm also not even sure how the teams were divided. The match ended with Brie Bella hitting a facebuster on AJ Lee and getting the pinfall victory.

Winner: Brie Bella (and her team?)

Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring. Bryan says that he's not the smartest person, but doesn't think you need to fast count someone who is already knocked out. Bryan says he doesn't know what happened Night of Champions and doesn't care, because what is done is done. He doesn't care whether nice Orton or the vicious Orton shows up at Battleground, because Bryan is going to get his title back either way. Bryan says that one word will be etched in the back of Orton's head, and that word is this (can you guess?): YES

The Shield begin making their way to the ring. Just as they get over the barricade, they are attacked by