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CM Punk
Phillip Jack Brooks
  • Birthdate: 10/26/1978 (age 38)
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 218 Ib

He was titled in the WWE as "the longest-reigni...

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...chopped up his beard, and served it to everyone, who all drop their forks in disgust. Shelby asks Kane if he's joking, and Kane says, "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm Gerald." Freaking hilarious.

- Turns out the WWE fans get to decide Kane & Bryan's official tag team name as part of tonight's RawActive. Goody.

Zack Ryder & Santino Marella v. The Prime Time Players

The internet wonders teaming up? I can dig that, sucka. Take down by Ryder gets a two count on Young. Crossbody attempt ducked by Young, and Ryder hits the ropes. Headlock countered out by Ryder, who tags in Marella, who snaps off a sambo suplex and a headbutt. Titus breaks up the pinfall, Ryder tries and cut him off, but gets put into the ring post. Young makes a blind tag as Santino goes for the cobra, but Titus is in and gets the Clash of the Titus for the three. I blinked and the match was over.

Winners: The Prime Time Players

- We're reminded about the exclusive interview with Lawler and find out that there will be a special guest on Raw tonight. Interesting...

- We learn more about WWE's team-up with the Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

- CRASSSHHH! "Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy" is back on RAW as its special guest! Foley's here not as a legend, but as a card-carrying member of the WWE Universe. He takes note of Punk's emergence a year ago, and finds the change in the fans towards him, as well as the change in Punk, interesting. Before he can go further on, Punk interrupts, and seems none too pleased with Foley's words. Ross takes note that Foley seems more reserved than usual.

- Punk tells Foley not to grandstand and just tell Punk to his face what he wants to say. Foley admits he's had issues with relevancy and mentions how he, among others, sent texts to Punk congratulating him and as it turns out, was one of the few Punk actually responded to. He starts in on Punk's relationship with Heyman, stating he, Foley, didn't become a somebody until he STOPPED listening to Heyman. Foley warns Punk that Heyman only looks out for himself, and questions why Punk, one of the more inspirational, opinionated wrestlers, needs Heyman for a mouthpiece and worries if Punk has drunk the proverbial Kool-Aid. Punk feels they're done, but Foley segues into the upcoming Hell in the Cell, about how it made and ultimately broke Foley's career, and how it's made legends out of HBK, HHH, and the Undertaker. Foley proposes that Punk go back to his roots and prove himself against Cena in the Cell. Punk craps on Foley's speech, and how he and Bret have seemingly tried and latch themselves onto Punk and pull him down to their level. Punk states that it doesn't matter to him what Foley, the fans, or Cena thinks of him, and states he doesn't need to go through hell like Mick did. He touts his title reign, and Foley fires back that his collective reigns only went to 29 days, but it counts more for the moments he made as WWE Champion, not the numbers. He questions whether Punk wants to be a statistic or a legend. Cena's here tonight with AJ, and Foley feels Punk should go to them and make himself a legend by challenging Cena to Hell in the Cell. Have a nice day. Very impactful promo right there from Foley.

- We get a recap of Ryback breaking up, literally, MizTV last week and find out that the IC Champ and Mr. "Feed Me More" will be having a match next!

Non-title match: Intercontinental Champ The Miz v. Ryback

Ryback shrugs off a right from Miz. More rights from Miz, but Ryback knocks him down, and shoulder thrusts him into the corner and gets a biel to the other side of the ring. Miz tries for a neckbreaker, but gets picked up into a powerslam. Miz escapes to the outside and tries to duck back in and nails a dropkick to Ryback, driving him into the ringside wall. Crossbody caught by Ryback, who tosses Miz back in. Miz with shots to Ryback and a DDT, but Ryback powers out at one. Kick countered into a spinebuster by Ryback, who finishes off the IC Champ with Shell Shocked for the three.

Winner: Ryback

- More radical therapy from Dr. Shelby. Kane and Bryan agree how ridiculous the therapy is, and talk about how great it was to beat on eight other men last Friday night, going right into a "OW! YES!" bit straight out of "When Harry Met Sally." Of course, we