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CM Punk
Phillip Jack Brooks
  • Birthdate: 10/26/1978 (age 38)
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 218 Ib

He was titled in the WWE as "the longest-reigni...

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...with it at first, but then hurks in Dr. Shelby's lap afterwards. Kane sums it all up: "Check please!" Epic, just epic.

- We find out the three team names for Bryan & Kane to vote on: Team Teamwork (Lame), Team Hell No (My vote), and Team Friendship (What's probably going to be the choice thanks to the kiddies and smarks).

- We're back as Bryan makes his entrance, followed by Kane's pyro. Cole announces the new tag team name...TEAM HELL NO! I'm pleasantly surprised. Sandow and Rhodes ambush them and leave them laying as Rhodes gets on the mic and announces a new name for him and Sandow: The Rhodes Scholars. Catchy, a little obvious, but catchy. Damien says the tag champs now have a true reason to be angry, you're welcome.

- We recap Heyman's "indecent proposal" to AJ, her "response", and Foley's armor-piercing statement to Punk about being a "statistic or a legend."

Divas Tag Match: Alicia Fox & Layla v. Divas Champion Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix

Layla kicks Beth and bounces her off the turnbuckle. Fox tags in and nails a dropkick for two. Beth reverses a whip to the corner, but gets sunset flipped for two. Beth overpowers Fox, and tags in Eve, who knocks off Layla while Beth suplexes Fox. Eve then hits her neckbreaker for the three count.

Winners: Eve and Beth Phoenix

- Post-match, Kaitlyn comes out and mentions her assault at NOC and that she scored some security footage from the hallway where she was taken down. Turns out her assailant was a blond. Eve points the fingers at Beth, who denies and calls Eve a liar. Eve hits Beth from behind and nails a neckbreaker. Um, okay. Don't know where they're going with this, and not sure if it'll have a turnout that anyone will care about.

- Brodus and the Funkadactyls make their entrance for the next match...

Tensai v. Brodus Clay

We could have a Lesnar-Big Show moment if these two aren't careful. Brodus nails Tensai with a headbutt, corner splash, and an exploder suplex, but misses the splash, as does Tensai. BIG SHOW comes out to interrupt, KO'ing Tensai. Clay seems riled up and charges Show, but gets a WMD for his efforts as well. Show leaves. Again, was there a point to this, besides Show finally showing up for the first time in over a month or so?

Winner: No Contest

- An update on Cena, his elbow surgery, and plans for Hell In The Cell coming up next...

- We find out Smackdown's main event will be Randy Orton versus The Big Show.

- Cena makes his way down to the ring, arm and shoulder in sling following his surgery. He notes the mixed emotions of the crowd, admitting he probably shouldn't be here, but thanks the crowd for supporting him, and tells people regardless of what they think of him, that they should never doubt the WWE Universe. He apologizes to Maddox and Chad Patton for the pressures they've endured from CM Punk. He feels Punk has misquoted him, and reminds us he stated the match at NOC would define who Punk is, and after the match, Punk has shown that he has turned into a bunch of PG-rated expletives Cena rambles off. He says it sucks about his injury, and can only guarantee to the world that he'll be at Hell In The Cell to fight...Punk's music hits as he and Heyman come to the ring, as Punk teases a handshake with a young fan.

- Punk "applauds" Cena for the fine speech and notes that Cena should be a politician for his attempts at "character assassination." He says there's always been one CM Punk, the one that beat Cena last year, twice in a row at Summerslam, and walked out from Night of Champions WWE Champion. Cena just tells Punk to shut up and accept his challenge at Hell in the Cell. He tells Cena he's had shot after shot, and tells Albany to get in line while he talks down Cena. He gives Cena a chance to run before he makes Cena suffer more than he already has, and turns around to give him a five count to get out of the ring...Cena brandishes a lead pipe. Uh-oh. Punk turns around, Cena blasts Punk in the ribs, and Punk retreats, gasping and clawing at his WWE Title. Cena high-fives everyone, and we go backstage, where Punk runs into Mick Foley. Punk walks away at first, but comes back to cheap shot Foley. Punk contemplates more damage to Mick, but turns around to find Ryback staring him down as Punk looks on frightened as we fade