JBL has the mic now and gets called an “Asshole” before he can say anything. He says that you put his name on the marquee of Madison Square Garden, it sells out. But ECW can barely sell out a bingo hall. When the little ECW fans sit on the internet flicking between the porn sites at their mummy’s house, emailing buddies saying they’re hardcore; we love ECW. The fans loudly tell him to “Shut The Fuck Up!”. Any of the fans could be ECW, even the fat one in the blue shirt. All you gotta’ do is get in the ring and mutilate your body. JBL is above that, because he is a wrestling god! That’s some solid heel work, but he rambles on til the familiar music of Rob Van Dam hits…
Whole F’N Show
Rob Van Dam is here in a knee brace with manager Bill Alfonso. JBL tries yelling at RVD but his mic cuts out. There’s a ton of love for RVD. He tells the invaders it sucks enough that they are in this building sucking up credit for something they had nothing to do with. Tonight will be one of the biggest PPVs all year (he isn’t kidding), because these people are sick and tired of having guys like JBL’s likeness being shoved down their throats every time they want to watch wrestling.
The office might be blind to it, but the invaders get zero credit for the show’s success. He doesn’t have any creative geniuses writing his script tonight folks, so he’s shooting’ from the heart. He’s going to take us back to a time when RVD’s vocabulary was more than just “whatever”, and “cool”. Remember when RVD had a voice? Talk about the pressure, no sweat. He was going to come out and use his abilities to ensure everyone went home happy. So long as he got to play his part, that’s all that matters. Do you know why? Because he’s the Whole. Fucking. Show!
Remember what RVD 420 means? Both RVD & Alfonso say, “I just smoked your ass!”. How long did he defend the TV title? Alfonso says “one year, eleven months, eighteen days, two hours and forty-two seconds daddy!” That was the best time of his career, and that is the way you showcase RVD. He tells us how he went to Vince and said “have you ever thought about doing an ECW PPV?” It would be huge, you gotta’ do it. Don’t worry about us getting hurt… we don’t even need a storyline.
Let us show you what we’re all about. And yeah! He liked it, and the dream became reality. Then he had to get this knee surgery. He’s not going to be cleared to work this PPV, and that sucks more than anything. Way worse than missing anything else. Worse than missing WrestleMania. RVD is ECW. Rhino appears in the ring and hits Rob with a Gore! He attacks his knee and takes off his brace. The lights go out! They come back on and it’s Sabu! We have an impromptu matchup.
#4: Rhino vs. Sabu
Rhino looks amazing, and Sabu’s not too shabby either. As predicted, it doesn’t take long for Sabu to use the first steel chair of the night. Joey reminds us there are no rules in ECW. While Rhino tries recovering on the outside, Sabu gets airborne and springboards on to him. As the action continues, Foley sells the genuine spirit of ECW. Styles talks about Sabu and how he personifies self sacrifice. How do you beat a man who isn’t afraid of anything? Foley agrees. He calls himself a hardcore legend, but has realized that he isn’t in Sabu’s league when it comes to working through the injuries he’s suffered.
Rhino goes to the top for some reason, and Sabu cuts him off. Frankensteiner! Wonderful. Alfonso throws Sabu a chair and he sets it up in the middle of the ring. As Rhino gets up in the corner, Sabu runs, jumps, and crashes in to him! Rhino falls throat first on to the back of the chair. Leg drop gets a near fall. Sabu goes for another springboard, but Rhino grabs his leg and sends Sabu face first in to the chair! That’s gotta’ hurt.
Rhino hits some powers and regains the advantage. He goes for The Gore, but Sabu pulls the referee in front of him and eats it instead. Rhino hits a piledriver. RVD’s in the ring with one good knee and throws a chair at Rhino’s head. He’s got no business being in there, but feels like he has to give the fans something. Hobbling around, he dropkicks a chair in to Rhino! Alfonso gets a table. RVD sets Rhino up and holds him down while Sabu flies, crashing through and destroying Rhino with a chair! This one is over. Winner: Sabu
Crazy stuff at a frantic pace. What’s next? It’s Al Snow, and he’s got head. He calls her a liar. Apparently she called the invaders and invited them here? It’s supposed to be a show for the guys and ECW fans, not a bunch of SmackDown assholes! Snow tells her to shush… they’ll talk about it later. For now, he wants to relive some more ECW memories.
After another video package, we’re back in the ballroom watching Eric Bischoff arriving with his Raw invaders: Edge, Christian, William Regal, Gene Snitsky, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvain Grenier, Maven & Jonathan Coachman. The next match is between two close friends who are no longer with us.
Guerrero & Benoit Heat?
Chris Benoit walks to the ring and stares a hole through the invaders while shaking his head. Eddie Guerrero is here and this encounter, on paper, should be the match of the night. He’s a full-blown heel, but is looking more pissed than usual. There’s something seriously off about this one, and I’ll probably spend more time on it than the rest. Apparently, for reasons unknown, Eddie sabotaged it by sandbagging his performance. Some reasons cited by fans was because Eddie had just turned heel and didn’t want to lose clean on PPV. He thought he’d lose too much momentum after being WWE Champion only a year ago.
Apparently during the match, he got angry with fans for chanting at the invaders and ignoring what they were doing in the ring. Eddie was usually professional with booking decisions, but either this really stuck in his craw, or there was something more personal going on. We also have to remember this happened only five months before he unexpectedly passed away, so perhaps he was dealing with health issues and didn’t want to work this one? The tension could be because Benoit wanted to work a worthy match, but knew Eddie wasn’t playing ball? Benoit was always about putting on the best match.