Hey everyone! I know it’s been a hot minute since our last Impact Profiles, and I apologize. Got some of that Turkey Day pumpkin pie in me, two family birthdays and, well… you know.
Every promotion needs them. They’re the guys & girls who fill out your card. Some of them might be midcarders. Some of them might be jobbers. Quite a few of them leave you wondering ‘WTF is this guy doing?’ And some of them might fill very specific roles that are necessary for every promotion to be a success.
Now, as opposed to our previous Impact Profiles, where I devoted a section to each performer, this installment will be lumped in by performer type, I guess you could say. First up, The Titled Vets.
The Titled Vets
Every promotion needs them. These are wrestlers who have a history with the fans, and who have a few titles to their name. Now, for whatever reason (age, injuries, or just being outshined by newer talents) they’re not going to be headlining cards for you often. But they’re strong vets, and they lend weight to any match they’re in.
Eddie, Eddie… just how do we do an Impact Profile on you? You’re a former Top 10 in the PWI 100. You came into Impact in 2014 as part of The Wolves with Davey Richards, and immediately had a huge presence. The Wolves were a huge tag team, and The Wolves won 5 Tag Team championships. And during Davey’s injuries, you had a good run with both the X Division and the TNA World Championship, making you only the eighth Impact Triple Crown Champion.
But all that sort of went off the rails on February 9th, 2017, where Davey turned on Eddie in one of the weirdest family feud angles of the year. Whether it was Davey and Angelina Love doing some sort of creepy, Natural Born Killers-esque deal to the fact that we were somehow supposed to believe Alisha Edwards was anything but a liability in the feud, the whole thing just didn’t click.
Just as Eddie was recovering from that, Eddie caught some bad luck via a baseball bat in the eye from Sami Callihan. For a review on that, check Part 1 of Impact Profiles, where I have video of the botch.
Since coming back though, Eddie’s… well, dropped off a notch. Eddie’s no longer the high flying scientific Boston Strong guy. He’s a lunatic who talks to his kendo stick. He’s lost his wife, gained her back, alienated her again, got her back (I think), and during it all gone through too many pairs of skinny jeans.
Now Eddie’s sort of there. He’ll come out, raise some hell, swing a kendo stick, do some scientific brawling, but loses more feuds than he wins. I’m not sure if it’s injuries, or the result of 17 years in the ring, but since Eddie & Davey broke up, he’s lost a step. Where’s the former ROH World Champ, the former TNA World Champ?
I don’t know. But Eddie’s a ring vet who knows how to bring out the best in his opponents. He guided Killer Kross to his best matches in Impact, and brought Ace Austin from just another face to the X-Division championship and the depths of scummery.
Still, I keep hoping to see the old Eddie once in a while.
Petey’s a TNA Original. Pretty much the last one, too. If you’re a longtime viewer of TNA (back to the Spike Days), you saw Petey as part of Team Canada, standing on his opponent’s junk while singing ‘Oh Canada.’ And of course, you saw the flipping piledriver known as The Canadian Destroyer. Now, maybe Petey did create the move as he claims. Maybe he didn’t. But what I do know is he made it famous, and now everyone from Pentagon Jr. to Adam Cole uses a variation.
Petey’s gone through a few gimmick changes, from being a pure high flyer to his ‘Lil Petey Pump’ partnership with Scott Steiner. Just due to that, he’ll live forever in wrestling Internet history by being in the background of the greatest math-based promo of all time.
Currently though, Petey’s an amalgamation. He’s still doing the hard rock ‘Oh Canada’ theme song, he’ll still doing some high flying. But he’s still got the Petey Pump tights, although he’s lost the chainmail headgear (Thank God). And he’s mostly a babyface when he’s needed.
But Petey’s not a top contender anymore. This makes sense, in that he’s also a backstage producer for Impact. He doesn’t need to be on the top of the card any longer. His in-ring role nowadays is to be a good match for any opponent. He’ll pick up a win now and then, but don’t expect him to win any more belts.
Ken friggin’ Shamrock. Of all the Impact Profiles, he just might be the most famous. Go ask your average man on the street who Sami Callihan or Tessa Blanchard is, and they might not know unless they’re a wrestling fan. You ask people who Ken Shamrock is, and people remember. Whether it’s his Attitude Era fame or his UFC fame, a lot of people know who ‘The World’s Most Dangerous Man’ is.
But in Impact, Ken’s not done so much. Part of it is that he just signed. He’s had two matches, a loss against Moose, and a win against Joey Ryan. There seems to be a program developing between him and Johnny Swinger (mentioned later), but right now Shammy’s… well, Shammy.
On the plus side, Shamrock’s in shape. Shit, I can only pray I look half as good as he does when I’m 55 years old. And he still gets the fans into his matches, even if it’s mostly a nostalgia pop.
On the negative side… Shamrock’s 55 years old. A pioneer of the crossover MMA/pro wrestling style in North America, he’s spent most of the past fifteen years almost exclusively in MMA. That hasn’t been good to his body, and during his matches with Moose and Joey Ryan, you could tell both men were carrying Shamrock at times. He’s just not as strong, explosive, or sharp as he used to be. Guess having Tito Ortiz punch you in the head all those times takes it out of you.