After a lot of back and forth I was able to secure an interview with Dixie’s
panties. I won’t bore you with the details of what I had to go through. So we’ll
just get straight to our conversation.
Terrance West: So your Dixie’s panties, how is that working
Dixie’s panties: Oh fucking god will someone just kill me.
TW: What’s so wrong with being Dixie’s undergarments?
DP: You try holding up fifty pounds of rotten roast beef,
the smell man…. The smell… imagine if you will, a can of tuna shove up John Goodman’s
ass. Everyday I pray for death. The bitch doesn’t even wipe all the way. It wouldn’t
be so bad if there was someone there with me, but I’m all alone. Day after day,
non-stop Dixie ass.
TW: Doesn’t Dixie have a second pair of panties?
DP: No man, TNA makes no money, how can she afford anymore.
TW: Can you give us any details regarding Dixie’s love life?
DP: I’ve seen more dead seamen than Pearl Harbor.
TW: Wow. Can you give us any details on Dixie’s day to day
role with TNA?
DP: All she does is watch old WWF shows, and not the attitude
era. She watches Red Rooster era shit, and goes to everyone “how can we be more
like that?” Oh god….. Please kill me. They threw away the cup from that 2 girls
and a cup video, why can’t I get that type of mercy? You know what’s even worse?
When she walks around nude, her old lady titties slap me around. Have you ever
been slapped in the face with hairy old lady nips? HAVE YOU!
TW: Well ( at this point I heard a gunshot blast.) Hello?
Are you still there?
But there was no response. Dixie’s panties committed suicide.
After years of torment and torture Dixie’s panties had enough.
Please join with me in a moment of silence for Dixie’s panties. May god
rest your soul.