This week’s topic …
Steve Austin Opponents Part 2
5. vs. William Regal – If I only had to pick one more Steve Austin match to see, this wouldn’t be anywhere near the list, but we
were asked to envision a scenario in which Austin was brought back for
five matches, and I see this one as essentially the “opening match” to
the return, with the idea being that you could do one match against
virtually any opponent where the return is the draw as opposed to bout.
So, if the opponent doesn’t matter for the match, why did I pick William
Regal? It’s simple. Regal and Austin have ridden the roads hard
together for almost the entirety of their careers, going all the way
back to their Clash of the Champions match against the Horsemen over
twenty years ago. In addition to the two wrestlers being very familiar
with each other and with Regal’s style likely providing an easy first
match by for Stone Cold, I think that this could be an interesting
angle, as there would be lots of ways you could take the story with the
history between the men.
4. vs. Goldberg – Obviously, Bill Goldberg is not currently on
the WWE roster. However, he has publicly expressed interest in
returning to work for them under the right circumstances, and I don’t
know what the right circumstances would be if not for the ultimate
Monday Night War dream match that we never got to see. I don’t have any
delusions about the in-ring between these two guys being any good at
this stage of the game, but both of their auras still loom large and any
wrestling fan of a certain age still has a “what if” curiosity rattling
around in the back of their heads when it comes to this pairing. Plus,
you could throw in Roddy Piper as the special guest referee and refer to
it as the battle for dominance of Podcast One.
3. vs. Dean Ambrose – Ambrose is WWE’s current “it guy,” and,
as the resident up and coming babyface, having him paired against the
returning legend from another era is a no-brainer. Plus, more than
anybody else on WWE’s current roster, Ambrose’s style of main event
match reminds me of the style that Stone Cold himself used in his
heyday, consisting mostly of over the top brawls that spill across all
areas of the building. In addition to being reminiscent of Steve Austin
himself, Ambrose is also reminiscent in some regards to another
individual who played a pivotal role in Austin’s career: Brian Pillman.
While many people have claimed that Ambrose’s character is a pro
wrestling version of Heath Ledger’s Joker, if you compare him to
wrestlers as opposed to movie characters, you’ll see that Dean is in
many respects a PG-version of Brian Pillman’s “Loose Cannon” character.
Having Austin square off with the modern equivalent of his former
partner and opponent would be quite the interesting dynamic.
2. vs. Brock Lesnar – This would in some regards be a
difficult match to pull off, because Steve Austin returning at his
current age in his current physical condition would be fairly fragile as
professional wrestlers go, and Brock Lesnar isn’t exactly a guy who has
a reputation for taking it easy on his opponents. Just ask the
Undertaker. However, there is in my mind one thing that justifies
dealing with the potential difficulties of the physicality . . . and
that is the potential storyline. Lesnar has two compelling motivations
for going up against Stone Cold. First, over a decade ago, it was a
proposed match with the Next Big Thing that resulted in Austin
infamously “taking his ball and going home” for an extended period of
time. Second, Lesnar has developed a reputation for taking out the
biggest and best in the business, including Shawn Michaels, Triple H,
John Cena, and the Undertaker. Steve Austin’s head could be the next
trophy taken by Brock for his wall. If you take these two motivations
and put them into a world where they’re being explained by PAUL HEYMAN,
you’ve got some golden pro wrestling television.
1. vs. The Rock – There is something to be said for seeing
fresh matchups that you have never seen before. However, when a feud is
booked in a certain way and the wrestlers have a certain chemistry, part
of you just can’t wait to see the rivals get back into the ring one
more time and perform, for the lack of a better term, their “greatest
hits.” In my mind, that’s the sort of match that the Rock vs. Stone Cold
Steve Austin in 2014 (or 2015) would be. These two have headlined three
Wrestlemanias against each other, and I have no doubt in my mind that
they could do one more, bringing back all of the elements that made
their rivalry so special fifteen years ago. There would be Rock Bottom
reversals, there would be ridiculous, over the top bumps for Stone Cold
Stunners, there would be plenty of middle fingers, and it would all be
glorious. It would be just one more fight about your leadership, which
would cause me to straight up leave your shit.
