ECW PPV Names
There are pretty much no good PPV names from ECW. They’re almost all just horrendous.
At best was Heat Wave, which WWE uses for its SummerSlam tour. Some of them aren’t God awful and could maybe work, like Living Dangerously and House Party (no need for that when you have In Your House, though). Some are just so specific that they wouldn’t be used, but they were atrocious at the time, such as Terror at Tabor and Morrisville Mayhem. It’s hard to crap on those and nobody would expect WWE to bring them back.
But everything else? Yeeeeeesh. So let’s do another speed round.
Super Summer Sizzler Spectacular = This sounds like something that just got added to the menu at Applebee’s or Wendy’s or something.
UltraClash = MegaSlam. SuperBash. GigaPound. It’s just bland. Plus, WWE has Clash of Champions. No need for this, ever.
November to Remember / December to Dismember = Can we follow it with May to Display, June to Impugne, and July to Deny?
Holiday Hell = They just weren’t trying and WWE isn’t going to name an event that while they’re still PG. It just has no marketability like Hell in a Cell does.
The Night the Line was Crossed / Crossing the Line Again = Maybe they should round out the trilogy with The Line is Crossed One Last Time. “Crossing the line” isn’t bad, so long as it has context, but these two specific names are a no-go.
Ultimate Jeopardy = Copyright headaches, I’m sure.
It Ain’t Seinfeld = Copyright headaches and there’s no way WWE is having a PPV with the name of another show that ended 22 years ago. My #2 favorite show of all time, though, right after The Simpsons (first 10 seasons).
Hardcore Heaven = Not the worst, but it just seems far better suited for a XXX site than a WWE PPV. For that matter, Barely Legal just wouldn’t fly today.
Double Tables = Triple Ladders, Quadruple Chairs!!
Return of the Funker / Enter Sandman / Re-enter the Sandman = Terry Funk and Sandman aren’t going to wrestle for WWE anymore, nor would they have a show dedicated to them like that.
Three Way Dance = This is just another Fatal 4-Way. Also, should I bother pointing out that there are more than 3 people on the cover because it was a tag team main event, which means 3 Way Dance featured 6 guys?
Barbed Wire, Hoodies & Chokeslams = LOL WHAT?
Beer, Blood, Babes and Barbed Wire = Just imagine the kickoff announcing “WWE presents…” with this. Yeah. That’s not happening.
Gangstas Paradise = Absolutely love the song. One of my top 50 favorites of all time. This isn’t happening.
Big Apple Blizzard Blast = Try it now at your local Dairy Queen or Sonic!
Just Another Night = Oh, it’s just another night? Well, then I don’t need to bother watching it. Good to know.
Big Ass Extreme Bash = I had to double check that this wasn’t used for Big Gay Al on South Park. Turns out that’s Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride. WWE would not trade Great American Bash for Big Ass Extreme Bash.
A Matter of Respect = This is just boring. It sounds more like an Oscar-bait court room drama film. Instead, it’s chainlink fence, scratch marks, metal plating, fire, the standard ECW cover of one of the girls showing off some skin and a bunch of reminders that this is risque.
The Doctor Is In = There’d better be a doctor ready to go, or WWE is going to suffer some lawsuits.
Requiem for a Pitbull = Who would be the pitbull?
Natural Born Killaz / Anarchy Rulz = So edgy, spelling it that way. Better cross the street when these PPVs come walking toward you. Yikes.
Unlucky Lottery = This is either a zany comedy or a Hallmark film.
High Incident = Wellness Policy Violation.
Chapter 2 = I didn’t even see Chapter 1 first!
The Buffalo Invasion = Why would WWE have to invade Buffalo?
Orgy of Violence = Yeah, not in a PG era.
As Good as it Gets = With your special guest referee Jack Nicholson?
Better Than Ever = Now this one strikes me more as something WWE would beat into our skulls as a tagline for an event like how Backlash was The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever and Extreme Rules is The Horror Show.
The Last Show at the Madhouse = It was the last show. That’s it. It’s done. No more shows at the Madhouse.
A New Era Begins = This is no different from New Blood Rising and such.
Finally, let’s wrap things up with a look at the In Your House events from back in the day.