WWE 2017 New Year’s Resolutions for Superstars



Give up on being a midcarder and join the cruiserweight division! His strengths are in his ring style as opposed to anything based on character. To become a legitimate contender for the Intercontinental and United States Championships, you really need to be able to have a feud that can withstand a few months of programming. To do that, you need a character that can cut promos instead of saying stuff like “I’m gonna do a good lucha thing” and after a while, relying entirely on playing up the small guy being beaten down by a bigger guy gets boring, so you can’t go back to that well too many times. Kalisto is a great talent to be supplemental as half of a tag team, but he could succeed even more if he were thrust into the cruiserweight division where he can go out there, wrestle, and not have to be an over-the-top character. Playing to your strengths isn’t the same as giving up or failing, so Kalisto should rejoice in what he has to offer rather than struggling in a field he might not succeed in.



Just grow up. Seriously. That’s it. Stop acting like a child who begs for attention in any way possible, even if it’s negative. Hold yourself to the phrase “if you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole, but if you run into assholes all day, then you’re the asshole.”

Roman Reigns

“The Guy” needs to turn heel this year, without a doubt. I’ll commend WWE on trying so hard to ignore the fans and to push their agenda, hoping to wear people down and convince them to get back to cheering him, but you can only do that for so long before it becomes unapologetically stubborn—and this is coming from a guy who actually likes Roman Reigns and wishes the fans WOULD get behind him again. We’re at a crossroads now where if WWE continues to book him in 2017 the way he’s been booked for the past 3 years, people will simply stop caring entirely. They need to reinvigorate him and to do so, a heel turn is the easiest way to change things up. If it works and he becomes one of the top heels in the company, then that’s amazing for them. If it bombs and people still don’t care, then they know for sure they need to go back to the drawing board for him. Worst case scenario, people start cheering him again because they think that will make them cool, and then you can turn him babyface and go back to what you originally wanted, right?


I’d love to see Nick Miller and Shane Thorne develop some actual personalities this year, as they’re currently coming off to me as “those two indie guys who can’t decide whether or not their team name has a hyphen” and not much else. They’re fun to watch in the ring, but they’re as generic as can be, particularly when compared to the other teams who have much more of an identity established. If The Wyatt Family, The Ascension, The Revival, American Alpha and other teams could form their characters in NXT, there’s no reason Miller and Thorne can’t figure out something to make them stand out from the no-name enhancement talent.

Those are my suggestions, but what ideas do you have in mind, particularly for the wrestlers who didn’t make my list? Do you have any resolutions for yourself this year? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

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