It’s a New Year, yes it is!
Today is the day everyone tries to set new goals for themselves in the hopes they can change their life around just because the calendar changed. It’s entirely symbolic, but it’s as good a time as any to start making adjustments.
In 2018, The McMahon Family promised things would change for the better. 2019 was supposed to start all that. Here we are all the way through 2020 and we’re having the same discussions with even worse morale than ever before.
COVID was a gamechanger, but WWE also has plenty to make up for from 2020 that was entirely their own fault. After all the empty promises, false advertisement, constant repeat matches, lazy booking and the “just shut up and forgive us and move on and let us keep making mistakes with no accountability or we’ll say you’re not good fans” mentality, now is the time for the superstars and management to reflect on what went wrong and try to sort out a proper game plan for 2021.
As such, it’s time to get into the fifth annual New Year’s resolutions for WWE in general and the superstars who make up the product we all love—or, at times, love to hate.
Keep in mind that while some of these are serious and legitimate, many are just humorous or on the kayfabe side of things. It’s all in the name of fun and retrospection.
Management – It’s Long Past Time to Actually Try to Improve
You can’t perpetually say you’re sorry every time the ratings slump, say you’re going to change things, and then do nothing and expect everything to be okay.
Don’t trot out some 1-show ratings bump nonsense and act like you solved the problem. Bringing back legends may get a better result for that one episode, but it won’t carry past that point.
Don’t act like you’re trying your best and sell viewers a load of bull. We all know you’re phoning it in whenever possible as that’s always been the case. And sometimes, it’s perfectly okay. Other times, there’s a rational explanation that is out of WWE’s control why things go wrong. But when you put little to no effort into writing these feuds and just book constant rematches, then wonder why nobody wants to keep watching, what were you expecting?
Just try. If you try an idea and it fails, people will at least respect you for giving it a shot. It’s better than rolling over, saying “But I like the way we do it and if you disagree, you’re a bad fan” and continue to lose favor with the networks.
Write better feuds. Let performers be themselves so there’s variety in characters (and if they suck, that’s THEIR fault, so you don’t push them; simple as that). Don’t do constant rematches to fill time. Also, don’t book promos on an episode that eat up 10-15 minutes just for them to basically be saying “We have a match later.” Put some other wrestlers in that time slot and maybe that’ll help expose them to an audience that could get invested in them down the line.
There’s no true formula to success, but one essential ingredient in the formula for failure is being lazy. Another is being stubborn. Yet another is being ignorant of a problem existing. WWE has all three going on in some fashion.
Something to Wrestle With always avoids talking about the current stuff. It’s understandable and likely in the contract. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a voice out there explaining some of the creative struggles to the audience. Maybe that would garner more sympathy.
If an angle goes south for something other than “we didn’t have a game plan, thought we would figure it out and didn’t” then maybe use the podcast to let people know and we’ll forgive you.
Maybe some would argue that that shows weakness. To me, it shows integrity and a willingness to stand by your statements of saying the WWE Universe is like family and that the fans are everything. When you include the fans in on your struggles, they don’t have to make up their own reasons to blame the current state of affairs on things that may be wrong assumptions.
For God’s sake, don’t let them forget about the idea of pushing you. Stand your ground. Don’t become a “yes, sir” type of guy who does whatever they say and diminishes his quality to the point where WWE doesn’t think you’re worth it anymore. That’s happened to far too many people and you deserve the full main event star treatment.
Keep it brofessional. Don’t brovoke anyone else like Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. Continue cutting interesting bromos. That will bropel you into the next stage of your career. Brolonged exposure to this gimmick will soften people on the negatives behind the scenes. Before long, you’ll see people have a bropensity to award the people who make them laugh. You’ll get a brolific boost to your career, like a title.
That is my broposal of how you can brocure a better spot on the card and brovide for your family.
Mustafa Ali and RETRIBUTION
Mustafa needs to learn how to cut a promo that isn’t just predominantly gritting through his teeth. After like six of those, it’s become redundant as all hell.
Everyone else in RETRIBUTION? Their goal for 2021 should be leaving RETRIBUTION because it’s a terrible stable and their careers are not going in the right trajectory, unfortunately.
Keep finding loopholes with the Money in the Bank contract to exploit different avenues.
What if it only says you can challenge for “a championship” but doesn’t specify it has to be one of the world titles? Maybe you and John Morrison can cash-in on the tag titles and win those.
Maybe you can try to argue once you beat Otis, you reset the clock and instead of needing to cash in by Money in the Bank this year, you should be able to hold it for a full term year from when you beat Otis instead.
Get back together. Do whatever you need to do to convince WWE to pair the two of you back up. If all they could think of after splitting you two was to slap Peyton Royce with Lacey Evans and say “Good enough. Go out there and lose” then you’re not getting that singles push. You’re better off as a team again.
Also, turn babyface. Freshen things up.
Settle down. Maybe with the woman you proposed to, that WWE wants to ignore all the time?
Behind the scenes, CJ Perry should be pitching to beat Nia Jax in a Tables Match. Don’t let them forget about this. They certainly will, otherwise.