It’s a New Year, yes it is!
Today is the day everyone tries to set new goals for themselves in the hopes they can change their life around just because the calendar changed. It’s entirely symbolic, but it’s as good a time as any to start making adjustments.
In 2018, The McMahon Family promised things would change for the better. 2019 was supposed to start all that. Here we are all the way through 2020 and we’re having the same discussions with even worse morale than ever before.
COVID was a gamechanger, but WWE also has plenty to make up for from 2020 that was entirely their own fault. After all the empty promises, false advertisement, constant repeat matches, lazy booking and the “just shut up and forgive us and move on and let us keep making mistakes with no accountability or we’ll say you’re not good fans” mentality, now is the time for the superstars and management to reflect on what went wrong and try to sort out a proper game plan for 2021.
As such, it’s time to get into the fifth annual New Year’s resolutions for WWE in general and the superstars who make up the product we all love—or, at times, love to hate.
Keep in mind that while some of these are serious and legitimate, many are just humorous or on the kayfabe side of things. It’s all in the name of fun and retrospection.
Management – It’s Long Past Time to Actually Try to Improve
You can’t perpetually say you’re sorry every time the ratings slump, say you’re going to change things, and then do nothing and expect everything to be okay.
Don’t trot out some 1-show ratings bump nonsense and act like you solved the problem. Bringing back legends may get a better result for that one episode, but it won’t carry past that point.
Don’t act like you’re trying your best and sell viewers a load of bull. We all know you’re phoning it in whenever possible as that’s always been the case. And sometimes, it’s perfectly okay. Other times, there’s a rational explanation that is out of WWE’s control why things go wrong. But when you put little to no effort into writing these feuds and just book constant rematches, then wonder why nobody wants to keep watching, what were you expecting?
Just try. If you try an idea and it fails, people will at least respect you for giving it a shot. It’s better than rolling over, saying “But I like the way we do it and if you disagree, you’re a bad fan” and continue to lose favor with the networks.
Write better feuds. Let performers be themselves so there’s variety in characters (and if they suck, that’s THEIR fault, so you don’t push them; simple as that). Don’t do constant rematches to fill time. Also, don’t book promos on an episode that eat up 10-15 minutes just for them to basically be saying “We have a match later.” Put some other wrestlers in that time slot and maybe that’ll help expose them to an audience that could get invested in them down the line.
There’s no true formula to success, but one essential ingredient in the formula for failure is being lazy. Another is being stubborn. Yet another is being ignorant of a problem existing. WWE has all three going on in some fashion.
Bruce Prichard
Something to Wrestle With always avoids talking about the current stuff. It’s understandable and likely in the contract. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a voice out there explaining some of the creative struggles to the audience. Maybe that would garner more sympathy.
If an angle goes south for something other than “we didn’t have a game plan, thought we would figure it out and didn’t” then maybe use the podcast to let people know and we’ll forgive you.
Maybe some would argue that that shows weakness. To me, it shows integrity and a willingness to stand by your statements of saying the WWE Universe is like family and that the fans are everything. When you include the fans in on your struggles, they don’t have to make up their own reasons to blame the current state of affairs on things that may be wrong assumptions.
Keith Lee
For God’s sake, don’t let them forget about the idea of pushing you. Stand your ground. Don’t become a “yes, sir” type of guy who does whatever they say and diminishes his quality to the point where WWE doesn’t think you’re worth it anymore. That’s happened to far too many people and you deserve the full main event star treatment.
Matt Riddle
Keep it brofessional. Don’t brovoke anyone else like Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. Continue cutting interesting bromos. That will bropel you into the next stage of your career. Brolonged exposure to this gimmick will soften people on the negatives behind the scenes. Before long, you’ll see people have a bropensity to award the people who make them laugh. You’ll get a brolific boost to your career, like a title.
That is my broposal of how you can brocure a better spot on the card and brovide for your family.
Mustafa Ali and RETRIBUTION
Mustafa needs to learn how to cut a promo that isn’t just predominantly gritting through his teeth. After like six of those, it’s become redundant as all hell.
Everyone else in RETRIBUTION? Their goal for 2021 should be leaving RETRIBUTION because it’s a terrible stable and their careers are not going in the right trajectory, unfortunately.
The Miz
Keep finding loopholes with the Money in the Bank contract to exploit different avenues.
What if it only says you can challenge for “a championship” but doesn’t specify it has to be one of the world titles? Maybe you and John Morrison can cash-in on the tag titles and win those.
Maybe you can try to argue once you beat Otis, you reset the clock and instead of needing to cash in by Money in the Bank this year, you should be able to hold it for a full term year from when you beat Otis instead.
The IIconics
Get back together. Do whatever you need to do to convince WWE to pair the two of you back up. If all they could think of after splitting you two was to slap Peyton Royce with Lacey Evans and say “Good enough. Go out there and lose” then you’re not getting that singles push. You’re better off as a team again.
Also, turn babyface. Freshen things up.
Angel Garza
Settle down. Maybe with the woman you proposed to, that WWE wants to ignore all the time?
Lana
Behind the scenes, CJ Perry should be pitching to beat Nia Jax in a Tables Match. Don’t let them forget about this. They certainly will, otherwise.
I’m not a fan of the whole gimmick of being put through the table and all, but I’d at least like to see some finality to the story instead of it being another one that just disappears.
Asuka
Watch your back. Charlotte Flair is going to steal that Raw Women’s Championship from you. Guaranteed.
From a behind the scenes approach, I think Asuka needs to turn heel. WWE doesn’t seem to book her all that seriously as a babyface and positions her as being good enough if she has a title to compensate for her losses and lack of creative direction. As a heel, maybe they’d care more.
Aleister Black
To be honest…leave WWE. It’s probably better to go somewhere else at the moment. No one seems all that interested in giving you a push and since your wife is gone, you’ll probably enjoy the work less and have more tension.
Tommy End can be successful in AEW. Not “come in and win the world title in a few weeks” successful, but probably better off than in WWE as evidenced by this time on the main roster.
Dominik Mysterio
Another more serious one: just keep working at it. Improving step by step is going to make a big difference in the long run.
Work out more to get a better physique. Get in the ring with everyone you can learn from. Push yourself for acting classes so you can cut better promos. The more you improve and the quicker you dedicate yourself to it, the easier it’ll be in the long run.
Robert Roode
As your buddy Dolph Ziggler would say, “Do something.” Anything. You’re squandering your final years and not at all tapping into your potential. You should’ve been a world champion. What are you doing?!
Kalisto
Complete that heel turn. Push for a feud with Rey Mysterio over the “Greatest Mask of All Time” versus your “Greatest Luchador of All Time” moniker. Be what Sin Cara was supposed to be, but failed at.
Lars Sullivan
Therapy. Not so much for the character, but for the man himself. We can all see there are problems. If WWE is triggering episodes and fits of mania or serious depression or whatever is happening, it’s not the right job for your mental health and you should sort that out.
Natalya
In a few months, when they pitch the next terrible gimmick for you, turn it down. You’ve been the farting girl, the one who throws temper tantrums, the one who walks Great Khali around, etc. Just getting an opportunity to do something hasn’t worked out most of the time and if you like this BOAT thing, you can’t just turn into the girl who jumps rope backstage or eats a croissant in her entrance or whatever the hell WWE Creative comes up with.
Liv Morgan
This isn’t so much Morgan’s fault, but it may be in part. This character/performer (to whatever extent) has to shit or get off the pot with this whole “I’m trying to find myself” gimmick.
Nothing’s changed except the wardrobe. You’ve got to have SOME ideas for this character by now other than tossing her into the lesbian angle for the sake of it.
Writers need to think of an actual direction and go with it. Morgan herself needs to test things out on social media to try to get a response and build from that. But you’re not getting anywhere with the story of the setbacks. Ask Ziggler how long he’s pitched “I’m the best wrestler who is overlooked and should be the guy, but isn’t” and how little success has come out of that (despite how, for a few years, he was right).
Whoever Calls the Shot on the TV Shows
Think about this in advance: if you can’t find the ability to write properly for all the content going on right now, how could you possibly also factor in NXT India, NXT Japan, NXT Mexico and/or any of the other shows rumored to be in the works?
You simply can’t. So go into 2021 with a methodology that it’s time to reassess the programming. Raw, NXT and SmackDown are the money-makers that aren’t going anywhere, but the same can’t be said for the others.
If Main Event only exists to fulfill a contractual obligation of “must have a show with wrestling matches that isn’t just recaps” for Hulu, get rid of Main Event and replace it with something with actual value that people will feel they want to tune in to see.
Get rid of 205 Live. It’s already incorporated into NXT and you haven’t updated the graphics with the ninja thing since the show’s inception. Replace that with either nothing (ideally) or with one of those NXT shows.
Maybe consider making NXT UK not a weekly show. Maybe it would be better to do a program like “NXT International” where you tape matches from India, Japan, Mexico and the UK and you air one program per week that incorporates matches from each. That will cut down on the tapings and allow people to see lots of different flavors. Or do them as monthly specials with one 2-hour long NXT UK, one 2-hour long NXT India, etc.
You’re spreading yourselves too thin and if you go even thinner, the product will suffer even more.
Santos Escobar
Beat. Jordan. Devlin.
Take the word “interim” off the front of your NXT Cruiserweight Championship reign and make it official.
Isla Dawn
Turn heel. You desperately, desperately need it. I’ve been saying this for like 2 years now.
Rik Bugez
Where have you been? Your resolution should be to get back on WWE television. It’s been long enough that I don’t even remember your last match. At a certain point, you’re going to cease to be a member of the crew they even realize is available to use.
Those are my suggestions, but what ideas do you have in mind, particularly for the wrestlers who didn’t make my list? Do you have any resolutions for yourself this year? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!
