Match Predictions and Heat Index Anticipation Levels
Temperature Scale = Scorching > Hot > Lukewarm > Temperate > Chilly > Cold > Freezing
Heat Index is my assessment of how interesting the segment is, including how excited I am for the match and how intriguing the feud has been. The hotter, the better. Scorching translates to not being able to wait to see it, while Freezing means I couldn’t possibly care less and think it will be awful.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: Drew McIntyre wins.
Thoughts: WWE is really keeping the whole stipulation to this a secret for what I’m assuming is just so they can get curious people to tune in, rather than because there’s actually some major wow factor that will happen. I highly doubt the end result will be as interesting as they want us to think, going into it. That way, they can just be happy that they got the viewers to tune in and the mission was accomplished, even if people are complaining about it on social media. Then, they can even twist that and say “look at all the buzz we’re getting! It’s trending!” without the clarifying factor of “it’s trending because people are crapping on it.”
However, I’ll say this. There’s a chance this does have something cool for its stipulation. Even if it doesn’t, and it’s just a regular, standard match, Ziggler and McIntyre might be able to pull off a really good contest on their own. Therefore, I’m looking forward to it and McIntyre’s inevitable win.
WYATT SWAMP FIGHT:
Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt
Heat Index = Lukewarm
Prediction: Bray Wyatt wins.
Thoughts: Here’s the thing. It’s a non-title match. That means Strowman can lose and the only repercussions that come out of this is that WWE doesn’t have to try as hard to justify booking another match between the two for SummerSlam. That seems like the easiest, laziest way to go about things. Wyatt wins so that the next few weeks can be about Strowman needing to overcome The Fiend, most likely.
The only other way this goes down (outside of having no winner and just a non-finish) is if Strowman wins because WWE has someone else lined up to fight him for the title at SummerSlam like Roman Reigns. Hell, even then, they might want to have Wyatt be his manager and have Strowman turn heel or something.
I would be much higher on this if WWE had a track record of great cinematic matches. Instead, I haven’t enjoyed pretty much any of them, so I’d imagine this falls short of wonderful, too.
RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Asuka (c) vs. Sasha Banks
Heat Index = Temperate
Prediction: Asuka wins.
Thoughts: Banks isn’t winning this. There’s no way. Not unless WWE really is just so blindly obsessed with doing everything they possibly can to add as much to the Banks/Bayley feud and to drag it out as long as humanly possible that they’re even willing to sacrifice Asuka. But that’s not going to be the case. Ideally, they use this at least to tell some of that story by having Bayley inadvertently cost Banks the match or not come out to help her at all ringside.
In any fashion, Asuka is retaining and while I think this will be the better women’s match, I’m not super excited about it, either, because it’s not existing to have those two put on a great match. It’s existing to fill time for the Bayley feud.
SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Bayley (c) vs. Nikki Cross
Heat Index = Freezing
Prediction: Bayley wins.
Thoughts: They’ve had God knows how many matches together, or Cross vs Banks, or Bliss vs Banks/Bayley with Cross on the outside. I stopped caring LAST YEAR about this match. They can’t just keep repeating the same options and act like it’s not lazy. Bayley retains. Snooze. I can’t stand her reign and it just never ends. I’d have legitimately rather had Dana Brooke as champion by now.
EYE FOR AN EYE MATCH:
Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins
Heat Index = Cold
Prediction: Seth Rollins wins.
Thoughts: The fact WWE keeps treating this like one of them is literally going to have an eyeball taken out of its socket is ridiculous. That’s not happening and I’m really not feeling the whole CGI aspect. I imagine this is going to be a slog to get through, with interference from Theory, Murphy, Black, Carrillo and Dominick, just to end on something that’s so laughably bad that it makes me embarrassed this is my job. Then, they’ll follow it up for weeks, if not months, with equally stupid stuff and I’ll have to keep rolling my eyes (which, thankfully, will not have been plucked out).
50/50 on the winner. Either this is a way to write Rey off for a while and have him come back wearing a new mask that has both eyes covered, or they just think it will be funny to put Rollins in an eye patch. At least if they go that route, they should play it off with the “once was blind, but now I see” holier than thou stuff. I don’t think that will even be the case, sadly.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Apollo Crews (c) vs. MVP
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: Apollo Crews wins.
Thoughts: At first, I was thinking WWE showed its cards by having MVP unveil the new belt design. Surely, that means he’s winning this match and he’ll carry that belt going forward, right? Now, I’m not so sure. Before that happened, I thought this would be Crews against Lashley. Then, I thought Crews would retain and fight Lashley at SummerSlam. Now, I’m thinking that’s still going to happen, but Crews is just going to take MVP’s title belt and say he wants to use that from now on. They might have even tweeted something about the winner going home with that belt, too. If that’s the case, Crews makes more sense to retain and then fight Lashley, who can try to win the title for MVP, as he’s the bigger physical threat anyway.
SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TABLES MATCH:
The New Day (c) vs. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: I actually don’t feel confident about a prediction here. I’m 50/50.
Thoughts: More than any match on this card, I’m unsure of a winner. I could see both teams walking out of this event as the champions. New Day can always win the belts back before Survivor Series, but there’s nothing that says they have to drop them, either.
I’m excited to see the match, though. I think these teams have it in them to make for a fun segment if it doesn’t go too long.
OVERALL PPV:
How excited am I for the event as a whole?
Heat Index = Temperate
Thoughts: Some matches are only on the card to eat up time. Others are gimmicky in a way that I think will be awful. Then, WWE has gone out of its way to purposely not specify what some matches will be, and that either means “wait for it and we hope the mystery will be worth it” or “we don’t have a clue what to do and hope we can figure it out by then” or “we know it will suck, so we won’t say what it is ahead of time or you’ll know it sucks and won’t want to watch.” It’ll be interesting, but that doesn’t mean it will be good.
What do you think is going to happen at WWE The Horror Show at Extreme Rules? Which matches are you most excited to see? Keep the discussion going in the comments below!
