Back in the day, Survivor Series used to actually consist of elimination matches made up of four superstars, not five. These four-man teams would typically revolve around some kind of theme, too. If they didn’t, WWE slapped a gimmicky name on them anyway and it was both awful and amazing at the same time.
In the spirit of that, and the fact that we have three groups of four superstars currently on the roster at the moment, I got to thinking. What if WWE decided to ditch the brand supremacy gimmick, abandon the Raw/SmackDown split (or at least suspend it for this event) and go ahead with the same concept? What kind of teams could we make that would mesh well together and what would their themes be?
Thus, let’s get into another fantasy booking scenario I’m dubbing MAKE THE TEAM. Let’s get started!
Warning: Since these are cheesy names to begin with, I’m going full-blown cheesy with some of these. By no means do I think most, if not all of these team names wouldn’t be laughed at these days. Of course they would be. They’re awful. But I’m writing it as if we were still stuck in 1990 when these things were how WWE used to do it.
Teams on the Roster Right Now
We actually already have three of these teams in a legitimate fashion at the moment, as well as one team that’s up for debate.
The Hurt Business consists of MVP, Bobby Lashley, Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin.
RETRIBUTION has Mia Yim (Reckoning) but four male superstars in Mustafa Ali, Mace, Slapjack and T-Bar.
You can’t forget about The Undisputed ERA’s Adam Cole, Bobby Fish, Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong.
Then, technically, you have Akira Tozawa and his army of ninjas. Any three other masked members of that clan could fill in beside him and get their asses handed to them, and they’re certainly themed as a unit.
But let’s get creative (for better or worse) and make some new ones.
The BARtist Collective = Sheamus, Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura and Sami Zayn
Good lord that’s an awful name, isn’t it? But people love mixing two words together if there is a conjoined couple of letters. That’s why we got RybAxel.
This is a mashup of The Bar and The Artist Collective. Outside of the terrible name (again, I’m trying to be cheesy with the names), this is actually a rock solid group.
Sheamus and Cesaro bring the power. Nakamura brings the finesse. Zayn brings the intelligence. There’s not a bad performer of the bunch. One is a former world champion, the others have won midcard titles and all of them have experience working together, minus Sheamus/Nakamura and Sheamus/Zayn, but Cesaro is the glue holding them all together.
The King’s Court = King Corbin, ???, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode
This is an old team name, but it’s one of the best. It always made sense so long as there was at least one person who went by a king name.
King Corbin has already worked alongside Ziggler and Roode for many months. There’s a camaraderie there that can be built upon. The trick is finding the fourth member of their squad.
Chad Gable sprung to mind, as he was working under Corbin while he was still Shorty G. If we’re limited to SmackDown, he’s pretty much the only option for it. No one else would fit, unless Kalisto is a heel and they go with him as the Greatest Luchador of All Time (GLOAT) being royal in some fashion. Maybe he could even wear a king-like mask of some sort.
Prince Mysterio was a rumored name for Dominik. Maybe if he turned heel, that could work, instead. However, that’s too difficult to pull off in this time frame, so I’d probably just go with Gable.
Raw Underground = Arturo Ruas, Dabba-Kato, Riddick Moss and Erik or Braun Strowman
Raw Underground is currently at least suspended, if not entirely done, due to COVID outbreaks. However, if we work under the assumption that it would come back or that people would keep the gimmick alive in some fashion, this can be a common ground for some people.
We’ve seen plenty of superstars associated with Raw Underground that couldn’t be picked for this role. Some are now on SmackDown, while others just fit other types of teams better, like Dolph Ziggler.
These five work, in my mind. It would just be a matter of narrowing down which one doesn’t make the team. I’d likely boot Strowman out of the bunch and put him elsewhere, unless the goal was to have both he and Dabba-Kato on the crew to make it a super tough team to overcome.
Team 2476 = Dominik Mysterio, Rey Mysterio, Buddy Murphy and Humberto Carrillo
You want a really terrible team name for them? Take 619 and multiply it by 4. Team 2476. Pretty awful, right?
Dominik and Rey is a given. Humberto Carrillo has teamed with them on multiple occasions, so he seems like a solid pick to fight alongside them, particularly as WWE’s never bothered to turn him heel and put him with Andrade and Angel Garza like I was hoping would happen.
The fourth member of the team would pretty much have to be Murphy. Not only is he trying to bury the hatchet with them, he’s also kind of dating Aalyah. They may not like it, but he’s got a seat at the table for holidays if that’s the case (kayfabe, naturally).
The New Harday = Big E, Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods and Jeff Hardy
The New Day as a unit is a given. They just need a fourth member to their squad.
Since no one else has been properly associated with them at this point, there’s no go-to answers. I had considered R-Truth, Otis, Daniel Bryan and some others before I realized Jeff Hardy might be the best fit.
The New Day were the ones to introduce The Hardy Boyz back into WWE for their return, it gives me the chance to give them the awful team name of The New Harday, and they can play off how they’re colorful characters. Jeff can paint his face the same as New Day has their gear.
Remember, these teams aren’t supposed to be actual teams. They’re just temporary alliances for a one-shot pay-per-view. I would never want Hardy to be a member of The New Day. No one should join that group as it would ruin the dynamic those three have.
Team 24/7 = R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Drew Gulak and Titus O’Neil
R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and Drew Gulak have been chasing each other for weeks upon weeks as the focal points of the 24/7 Championship. It makes sense to team them up, only for them to have issues resisting turning on each other.