Friday, March 29, 2024
EditorialWWE WrestleMania III: Bigger, Badder, Better?

WWE WrestleMania III: Bigger, Badder, Better?

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Next up, we’re shown a video recap about the feud leading to the match between Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules. In the video, we see Haynes responding to a challenge by Hercules over who has the best Full Nelson. Haynes exchanges words with Heenan and grabs him, only to be attacked from behind by Hercules before being trapped in Hercules’ Full Nelson.

We then join Mean Gene Okerlund, who is talking to Hercules and Heenan. Heenan insists on calling Haynes ‘Billy Jerk’. Hercules discusses his ‘history’ of strength and cites Greco-Roman mythology and the Bible, but sounds like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

We go to the ring as Haynes approaches to a nice pop and he looks amazing. Hercules and Heenan come out on the conveyance provided by the Silverdome to loud boos. The ‘Weasel’ chants have already started and get louder.

Match 2: Billy Jack Haynes vs Hercules (with Bobby Heenan)

Hercules and Haynes have an intense staredown and the ref looks very nervous. The first collar-and-elbow tie up leads nowhere, but Haynes gets the upper hand in the next one. He gets Hercules into the corner, but when the ref gets in between them, Hercules uses the distraction to knee Haynes in the gut. Hercules clubs and punches Haynes into a corner before whipping him into the opposing corner. Hercules goes for an elbow but Haynes gets out of the way.

Haynes gives Hercules a knife-edged chop and press slams him. He then goes for the Full Nelson, but Hercules senses it coming and scrambles for the ropes. Haynes continues to punch and chop Hercules before whipping him into one corner and then another.

Hercules comes out of the second corner and nails Haynes with a clothesline. He follows up with punches and kicks before hitting Haynes with a back body drop. Hercules then proceeds to whip Haynes from one corner to another, repeatedly. Haynes sells being in serious pain. Hercules, feeling cocky, is slow to follow up on Haynes. He bodyslams Haynes and goes for a pinfall, but pulls Haynes up before he three, much to the annoyance of Heenan.

Hercules pulls Haynes to his feet and signals for the Full Nelson. Haynes fights back with several blows to the stomach. Haynes then goes for a suplex, but his back gives out and it looks like Haynes is in serious pain.

Hercules is back in control and focuses his attack on Haynes’ back, kicking him before hitting Haynes with a nice backbreaker. He continues to punish Haynes with punches and kicks before press slamming him. By this point, Hercules is looking pretty cocky and finally goes for the Full Nelson and locks it in.

Haynes seems to fade and the ref does the arm drop test, but Haynes keeps his arm from falling the third time and rallies, breaking the hold, but Hercules hits him in the back of the head before whipping Haynes into the ropes. Both men hit each other with a clothesline.

Hercules gets up first, but Haynes hits him with an inverted atomic drop before knocking Hercules down with a clothesline. Haynes whips Hercules into the ropes, kicking him in the gut and hitting him with another clothesline. Haynes hits a leg drop and a fist drop from second turnbuckle.

Haynes locks in his own Full Nelson, but Hercules struggles and gets into the ropes, sending both men outside. Haynes locks the Full Nelson on again, but they both get counted out, much to the crowd’s fury.

Heenan gets a cheap shot in on Haynes and Haynes rises to the bait. He chases Heenan around and into the ring, only to be stopped by the ref. Hercules uses the distraction to nail Haynes with a chain wrapped fist.

The ref tries to stop Hercules, but the assault is continued, Haynes is busted open and bleeding before Hercules and Heenan are satisfied and then Hercules adds insult to injury by slapping the Full Nelson on Haynes.

Winner: Both men are counted out, but Hercules was the last man standing.

Thoughts: This was a really good match. Haynes and Hercules looked great out there and the double count out protected both men and the assault by Hercules got sympathy for Haynes.

We go to the special interview center where Mean Gene is interviewing King Kong Bundy and his partners for the six man tag match. Bundy doesn’t look happy to be in a match where two of his partners are little people. Okerlund comments that big trouble comes in small packages, but Bundy corrects him and says that big trouble comes in 450lb packages. He also states that he wants Hillbilly Jim and if Hillbilly’s little people partners get involved that they’ll get squashed.

Bundy and company are out first to a loud round of boos.

We go back to the interview center for the interview with Hillbilly Jim and his partners. Hillbilly Jim’s worried about his partners, Haiti Kid and Little Beaver and promises to look after them during the match.

Hillbilly and company get a better reaction than Bundy’s team did, but it doesn’t seem like the crowd is into this match.

Before we get started in this match, we’re told that there are some extra rules outside of the usual ones for a wrestling match: The little people partners can only wrestle the opposing little people. Bundy and Hillbilly will be wrestling each other. If Bundy or Hillbilly does anything to one of the little people, their team will be disqualified.

Match 3: King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrooke vs Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid, and Little Beaver

Haiti Kid and Little Tokyo start us off but between their size and speed, this match is hard to follow. Eventually, Little Beaver gets taken into the heel corner by Lord Littlebrooke and gets a cheap shot punch to Bundy’s gut, but Bundy looks annoyed and bored.

Bundy gets tagged in and Beaver seems to have more guts than sense because he squirts between Bundy’s legs and hits an impressive dropkick to Bundy stomach that doesn’t seem to register with Bundy, before finally seeing sense and tagging in Hillbilly Jim.

The crowd is more interested in Bundy/Hillbilly than the little people. Bundy clubs Hillbilly several times, getting him into the ropes before whipping him to the other side. Hillbilly ducks the clothesline and levels Bundy with a clothesline of his own, hits an elbow drop, goes for a pin. Little Beaver and Haiti Kid pile on to help, but Bundy manages to push them all off.

Bundy clobbers Hillbilly. Little Beaver keeps interfering, it’s like he doesn’t recognize that Bundy could really hurt him if he was mad enough. Thankfully, Bundy’s more annoyed than anything, but Little Beaver is pressing his luck.

Hillbilly feels the brunt of Bundy’s growing irritation. Bundy hits the big Avalance and pounds on Hillbilly. Little Beaver tries to help again, but Bundy catches him.

The ref is too busy checking on Hillbilly to see Bundy body slam Little Beaver, much to the crowd’s rage, but thankfully turns around to see Bundy hit the elbow on the little guy and disqualifies Bundy.

The other little people come to Little Beaver’s aid and move him before Bundy can hit the Big Splash. Hillbilly chases Bundy out of the ring, and after exchanging some words with Little Tokyo, Bundy leaves.

Winner: Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver, and Haiti Kid by Disqualification

Thoughts: What the heck was that?! The little people put on a pretty good match, but why was that on a WrestleMania card? Bundy looked mad the whole time and I don’t blame him. I’m mad I sat through it.

The ‘midget’ jokes were a little cringe-worthy, but at least Monsoon tried to act like he was taking this match and the little people seriously.