Sunday, June 16, 2024
Editorial5 WWE Divas Pete Davidson Should Date

5 WWE Divas Pete Davidson Should Date

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What wrestling fan wouldn’t want to date a WWE Diva? They are beautiful and smart, they are world-class athletes, and they can get you free wrestling tickets. My current favorites are Sonya Deville, Liv Morgan, and Dakota Kai. Here we go, let’s play matchmaker for Pete Davidson.

Bachelor Number One

You love him, you might hate him, but either way, you are definitely jealous of him. Yep, that’s right, the dude is a straight pimp. No, I am not talking about Val Venis, I’m talking about Pete Davidson. The tall goofy SNL guy with the tattoos has dated Kate Beckinsale, Kaia Gerber, and Ariana Grande. So basically, he’s dated a long list of women that you never will. Pete is currently dating Kim Kardashian, which we all know won’t last because celebrity relationships never do. Oh, and also it won’t last because, well, because Kanye.

So, what’s next for Pete after his fling with Kim ends? Who should he date next? Well luckily for you, I took a break from Chat Roulette the other night around 3 am to speak with Pete Davidson on AOL instant messenger. It turns out that Pete Davidson is actually a big wrestling fan. We talked about how AEW has no idea what to do with their champions, and how they desperately need Women’s Tag Team Titles to add some depth to the women’s division. When I brought up Nick Gage, Pete said GCW is killing it right now and he believes that NWA Powerrr should stick with the TV Studio format. We also both agreed that IMPACT should have kept the tag belts on Cassie Lee and Jessie McKay. Finally, I asked Pete if he’d ever consider dating a wrestler, and his answer was “Yeah dude, like, that’d be sweet.”

Here are 5 WWE Divas that I think your boy Pete Davidson should date.

Aliyah

Since moving her to the main roster WWE hasn’t done shit with her, which sucks because Aliyah is pretty awesome. So, it’s not like she’s busy, which means she has plenty of time to date an on-the-go type of guy like Pete. How do Pete and Aliyah meet? Through a mutual friend on FB who sets them up.

What would be their first Date? I think Pete would take Aliyah on an unconventional first date, like, maybe to a volunteer kitchen to feed the homeless. He wouldn’t do it to impress her, he would just genuinely want to serve his community because he’s such a nice dude.

How long would their relationship last? probably not very long at all, this would just be a brief rebound before Pete gets back together with Kim.

Does he bring Aliyah home to Staten Island to meet the family? Nope. As much as you were hoping for this to get serious, Pete won’t be taking Aliyah home to Staten Island to meet the family.

Doudrop

Doudrop is fucking awesome, she kicks ass on the mic and is brutal in the ring. She reminds me of when I used to stay up late to watch GLOW on Friday nights. How do Pete and Doudrop meet? That’s a tough one, let me see, I think Pete Davidson and Doudrop would meet at the vet or some shit like that. Pete would be there with his three-legged Pug, and Doudrop is there with four of her cats for their annual shots.

Pete and Doudrop’s first date? First, he would take her for a ride on the Staten Island Ferry, and then afterwards he would take her to a Kanye West concert. Even though he was bullied relentlessly by Ye on social media, I feel like Pete is such a genuinely forgiving soul. I bet that he listens to Kanye’s music still, so why not? A Kanye concert would be an impressive first date.

I think this relationship would last about 7 months. Unfortunately for Doudrop, right after bringing her home to meet the family, it would be over. Doudrop just wouldn’t be good enough for his mom or the family, so Pete would have no choice but to politely exit the relationship and go running back to Kim.

Cora Jade

Cora Jade is young, and she skateboards. She is gorgeous with glowing personality; I think she is perfect for Pete. Davidson and Cora Jade would probably meet at a comedy club. Cora is out on a date with some dork to see Pete’s stand up comedy show. Pete sweeps her off of her feet at the meet and greet backstage and Cora ditches the other loser and starts dating Pete the very next day.

For their first date Cora takes Pete to NXT where she introduces him to everyone in the locker room, including Vince McMahon. After the NXT taping, the couple is seen later that night by paparazzi singing karaoke and getting blazed at a random dive bar.

This relationship is doomed from the start. Jade’s feud with Natalya is weighing heavily on her mind and Pete can tell she’s not happy. Natalya decides to take the feud to the extreme, and before Pete can even think about bringing Cora home to Staten Island, Natalya slaps the shit out of Cora Jade yet again and steals Pete all for herself.

Natalya

This relationship only lasts one week before Pete goes running back to Kim, again. Pete wasn’t even over Cora when Natalya throws his ass in the sharpshooter one night. The physicality of Natalya is just too much for him to handle, Pete has to bounce.

Asuka

I think Pete Davidson and Asuka would be an amazing couple. Asuka is hilarious, she’s quirky, and she’s obviously not busy wrestling right now, nobody knows where she is.

Asuka and Pete’s first date would be a good old fashioned classic date. They go out to dinner and a movie, and then play some miniature golf to cap the night off.

This relationship is an absolute winner, for once Pete doesn’t go running back to Kim. It doesn’t matter because she is unavailable anyway. Believe it or not, after Pete has gone and dated all of these WWE Divas, well, Kim is now married to future WWE Hall of Famer Val Venis. So, Pete brings Asuka home to Staten Island to meet the family, and of course, like all of the WWE fans, his family absolutely falls in love with her. Whose mother wouldn’t love Asuka? So, one night at dinner after a nice meal of chicken cutlets and antipasto, Pete gets on one knee and asks Asuka to marry him in front of the whole family. Asuka says yes, they have a huge wedding on a littered Staten Island beach, and the couple lives happily ever after.

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