Monday, July 15, 2024
EditorialI'm Not Buying What CM Punk And Hangman Adam Page Are Selling

I’m Not Buying What CM Punk And Hangman Adam Page Are Selling



Hangman Adam Page will be losing his AEW World Championship to CM Punk at Double or Nothing this month. I like Page, he drinks a lot, he dresses like a cowboy, he has a cool mullet, it is what it is. But as much as I hate to say it, I think he sucks as AEW’s Heavyweight Champion. I honestly had forgotten that Hangman Adam Page is the AEW Champion. I’m not joking, I really forgot that he is the champion.

I’m The Smiling Face On Your TV

It’s not Hangman’s fault that I forgot he was the AEW World Champion. AEW failing to book the champion with a presence on TV, that is their fault. This seems to be a trend at AEW that I first noticed with Hikaru Shida. She was all over TV leading up to winning the women’s title from Nyla, but then, poof, she vanished. Shida had no presence on TV for her entire run.

Do you want to know who else is at fault for making me forget that Hangman is the champ? It’s CM Punk’s fault. Why? Because he gets treated like he is the champion, by the writers and the fans. Oh, and also because he’s on TV every week.

CM Punk
CM Punk at AEW Full Gear 2021

When CM Punk wins the title from Hangman at Double or Nothing, is Punk going to vanish from TV as well? I hope not, but I also won’t be able to believe that CM Punk is a legitimate “fighting” champion.

Neon Lights, A Nobel Prize

So, Tony Khan recently said that he thinks Page has been the best AEW champion so far. Well, I obviously disagree. I am clearly predicting that Khan puts the belt on CM Punk at Double or Nothing. Will CM Punk be a better champion than Hangman? To %99.9 of the wrestling fans out there, the answer is yes. But to me, the answer is no, he won’t be. CM Punk can’t be my AEW World Champion.

Hangman is physical, he’s old school. He’s not flipping around like a gymnast or twirling around like some of these guys nowadays. Hangman has what JR calls “slobber knockers”. When I watch Adam Page, I believe that the man can really fight. But, when I watch CM Punk in the ring, I just don’t believe it. In fact, I know that the guy can’t fight.

CM Punk proved that he can’t fight when he got obliterated in the UFC, multiple times. My Heavy Weight Champion needs to make me believe that he can fight. Tony Khan might believe Punk, but I don’t. I do, however, believe Hangman Adam Page. I’d even go as far as to say I’d stand back-to-back with Hangman in a bar fight, but not with Punk.

When A Mirror Speaks, The Reflection Lies

When CM Punk looked in the mirror and his reflection told him that he would be good at MMA, it lied. CM Punk was embarrassed in his brief UFC run. The man was absolutely destroyed. My dead grandmother could have been more competitive than CM Punk was.

If Roman Reigns went and got his ass beat in an MMA fight, against low-level competition at that, do you think he’d be “Head of the Table” with two belts? Hell no he wouldn’t. Did Punk not know it would hurt him down the road if he went back to wrestling if he failed so miserably in MMA? Did he know at the time he would probably return to wrestling? I honestly think that he did.

In every match CM Punk has had in AEW so far, he has looked out of shape, weak, and “old”. He spends most of the time in his matches just lying on the canvas as if he’s exhausted. UFC ruined my ability to believe CM Punk as a professional wrestler, thanks, Dana White.

The Cult Of Personality

I am not saying that I don’t like CM Punk. Of course, I respect him as one of the biggest personalities in wrestling history. I’m simply saying what I would say when I’m directing an actor, and that is, “I don’t believe you”. When I see someone like Jake Paul boxing, I believe the guy. I believe that he can fight, and I believe that he wants to be a champion. I don’t see this in CM Punk, not now.

However, there is one thing that I believe when it comes to CM Punk. I believe that he is loved by the fans, maybe even more so than any other wrestler to ever walk into an arena. In all of my years of watching wrestling, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wrestler get as big of a pop as CM Punk. I’ve never seen anyone get an 8-minute standing ovation like CM Punk did when he returned. And it’s not just a here and there welcome back pop either, it’s consistent at every arena in every town. It hasn’t faded, and it’s not going to. The love is only going to get bigger when he beats Hangman Adam Page at Double or Nothing to become the new AEW Worlds Champion.

To be the champion means you have to be the baddest dog in the yard. To Tony Khan, that’s who CM Punk is. He was Khan’s champion before he even signed him. CM Punk is Tony Khan’s “Cult of Personality”, and Khan is in the Punk Cult. He didn’t spend all of that money to not make CM Punk his champion. I honestly thought he would have become champion sooner, and I’m surprised it’s taken this long. So, let’s just go ahead and put the belt on the guy and get it over with already.

Look In My Eyes, What Do You See?

My champion has to have a great entrance song, and CM Punk has that. A champion is nothing without a great entrance song. CM Punk is lucky to have one of the best. I’d say he has one of the top 5 entrance songs of all time. Personally, I see CM Punk as more of a metalcore guy, who probably still wears Affliction t-shirts, but I do like his choice in entrance music.

This is one area where Punk has Hangman beat. As long as I’ve been watching AEW, I have no idea what Hangman Adam Page’s sounds like. Someone hum it to me in the comments or tweet me. Seriously, what is Hangman’s entrance song?

I even think that it might be possible that the fans like CM Punk’s entrance song more than they like CM Punk. When Cult of Personality came out in 1988 and was a radio hit, I was 12 years old. All I cared about was playing guitar back then, I had horrible grades in school. I learned how to play that song as soon as the guitar tab came out. I clearly remember saying to myself, “one day this song is going to be CM Punk’s entrance music and the fans are going to love it and I’m going to change my mind and believe in CM Punk as the AEW World Champion”.

So, does this mean that CM Punk will be my champion after all? Because I like his entrance song? Maybe, just maybe.

I Sell The Things You Need To Be

Sell me CM Punk, convince me that you aren’t old and tired. Make me believe that you can be my champion. Erase those UFC fights from my memory. Give me a classic title match with Hangman Adam Page. I want to believe.

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