Impact Wrestling Results – 3/2/17


Welcome everyone to the Impact Results page. Please no spoilers. 

The show opens with Lashley and Josh Barnett making their way to the arena.

Knockouts Championship, Last Knockout Standing: Rosemary (c) vs Jade

Jade is in the ring and Rosemary comes out. Jade runs out and attacks Rosemary in the aisle. Jade slams her into the apron and does a suicide dive. Jade sends Rosemary into the ring and attempts the Package Piledriver but Rosemary blocks. Jade hits a couple of german suplexes but Rosemary makes it up early in the count. Jade sends Rosemary outside the ring. She tries another suicide dive but Rosemary hits her with a forearm. She goes under the ring and throws weapons into the ring.

Rosemary pounds on her. She hits Jade with a trash can and sets it against her in the corner. Rosemary goes coast to coast with a dropkick to the trash can. Jade is up at the count of 7. Jade fights back and grabs the kendo stick and beats the champ down. Rosemary is down for a count of 8. Jade hits a powerbomb to Rosemary onto the trash can. Rosemary makes it up at 9. Jade goes to the top rope. She jumps off but Rosemary gets her with mist in mid air. Rosemary hits Red Wedding. Jade barely makes it up at 9. Jade is blinded still by the mist. Rosemary sends her outside and hits Red Wedding outside onto the floor. Jade pulls herself to her feet at 9 1/2. Rosemary charges and Jade moves and Rosemary hits the outside post.

Jade grabbed water and washed out her eyes. Rosemary on the apron and Jade powerbombs her onto the steps. Rosemary is barely up at 9 1/2. They battle up the aisle. Jade gets her up for a powerbomb on the stage but Rosemary gets her with mist again. Rosemary hits Red Wedding on the ramp. The third one. Rosemary is up. Jade cannot answer the 10 count.

Winner, and Still Knockouts Champion: Rosemary

Backstage, Moose calls out Cody to the camera and says he’s going to ring and has some choice words for him.

Commercial Break

We’re back with House Hardy at the compound. Matt Hardy is spending time with the whole crew at his personal zoo. Since Jeff carries his abilities, Broken Matt sends him to seek out Vincent Van Goghe who occupies the vessel of an obsolete mule.

Moose is in the ring and he cuts a promo that he’s going to make Cody regret his actions from last night. Cody attacks Moose from behind when he wasn’t supposed to be there. Teh two brawl until security breaks them up. Cody and Moose start laying out the security guards. Moose sends one over the top rope with a running powerbomb. They brawl on the outside and more security is out to break them up. Moose keeps tossing security guards around. More security and refs and even wrestlers come out to break them up. Security has Cody surrounded next to the announcers table. Brandi comes out and yells at him. Cody seems to calm down. He turns around and tosses Josh Matthews. Security grabs him. Moose flies from the ring over the top rope onto everyone. They finally get separated.

Commercial Break

Back from commercial and James Storm makes his way to the ring. Josh mentions he has cracked ribs but he showing great dedication and amazing ability by himself. He then talks down any other announcer in history would’ve been out for months and he’s back in 3 minutes. He’s really playing up this “he’s the best announcer” thing.

James Storm vs Jesse Godderz

Jesse takes Storm down with a forearm and then a dropkick. He hits a belly to belly and goes for the Adonis crab but Storm gets out of the ring. Jesse takes the fight to him outside.

There’s absolutely no match commentary because Josh is busy praising himself

Inside the ring, Godderz takes Storm down with a clothesline and locks in the Adonis Crab. Kingston distracts Godderz to break the hold. Storm attacks him.

It’s very distracting that Josh is saying JB needs to go and he’s the reason Pope is even average. He’s very annoying, but honestly, playing the part well.

Storm in control while the crowd chants DCC. Kingston at ringside is taking cheap shots on many occasions. Godderz fights back and hits clotheslines and an ensiguri. He hits the blockbuster and covers him for a close 2. Godderz sends Storm into the ropes but he reverses and hits a spinebuster for a 2 count. James goes for Eye of the Storm but Godderz slides out and goes for the Adonis Crab again but instead slingshots him into the corner. Kingston is in the ring but Godderz hits an exploder suplex. Storm goes for the Last Call but Godderz blocks it and applies the Adonis Crab. Storm taps out but the ref is distracted with Kingston. Bram comes in and hits Godderz with a chair. Storm hits the Last Call for the 3 count.

Winnner: James Storm

Commercial Break

X Division Championship: Trevor Lee (c) vs Andrew Everett

They exchange blows. Everett hits a forearm and a pele kick. Lee to the outside. Everett flies over the ropes with a somersault onto Lee. He gets back in the ring and flies over the ropes with a backflip onto Lee. He gets on the apron and hits a springboard moonsault off the top rope onto Lee. Everett brings him into the ring. Lee ducks a clothesline and they both go for a body press for a collision.

Lee charges toward Everett in the corner but catches an elbow. Everett off the ropes and Lee hits a European uppercut. Lee stomps him repeatedly. Everett fights back but Lee sends him into the corner. Lee goes for a german suplex but Everett lands on his feet and catches Lee with a boot. Everett hits a springboard dropkick. They exchange blows and Andrew Everett hits frankensteiner driver, laying out Lee. He goes for the cover but Helms distracts the ref. Everett chases Helms up the ramp. He goes for the shooting star press but Lee gets the knees up. He rolls Everett up and holds the tights for the 3 count.

Winner, and Still X Division Champion: Trevor Lee

At the Hardy Compound, Jeff seeks out Vincent Van Goghe. Jeff feeds a herd of obsolete mules. Jeff finds him and he is told he must get a pet shark and keep him in his salt water pool. He has a premonition and hee haws like a mule and eats the mule food in his hands. He meets up with Broken Matt and talks of his premonition and they must go to where they are outnumbered.

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