The chairman of the American Mustache Institute, Dr. Aaron Perlut, tells TMZ.com that he is upset with Hulk Hogan’s plans to shave off his mustache. He told the website that Hogan is “seen as a longtime leading figure in the sexually dynamic Mustached American community.”
Perlut continues, “Not only would the removal of his lower nose foliage cause angels in heaven to die and fall to earth — as is written in biblical texts — but it would send a poor message to young people of Mustached American descent who wish to embrace the Mustached American experience.”
“We do hope that Mr. Hogan, for whom we have great reverence, reconsiders shaving his upper lip shading device as millions of those he has inspired would be greatly let down, leading to mass chaos and deep bouts of depression in the Mustached American community.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
As we reported earlier this morning, “The Hulkster” is planning to shave off his facial hair.