It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! AEW Dynamite is live from “the most magical place in the wooorld”…. Long Island, New York. And tonight, is MJF DAY!
Also advertised for tonight’s show:
- AEW Tag Team Titles vs AEW Careers – The Gunns vs. FTR
- AEW World Trios Championships: House of Black vs. Best Friends & Orange Cassidy
- AEW Women’s World Championship: Jamie Hayter vs. Riho
- AEW CEO, Owner, Founder, President, GM + ROH Booker, CEO, Owner, GM + WON Booker of the Year 2019-2022… he orgasms when Justin Roberts says NOOOORRTHH CAAARROOLLIINNAAAA… high on coke, he never blinks… he has an important announcement tonight… TOONNNYYYY KHHAAAAANNNN!!!
- Sammy Guevara vs. Komander
- Juice Robinson vs. Ricky Starks
- FTW Champion Hook vs. Ethan Page
- We’ll hear from the Blackpool Combat Club
- The Acclaimed decide whether they are joining the Jericho Appreciation Society
Be sure to refresh this page frequently for ongoing live coverage of the results from tonight’s episode. Join our community in the comments section below to discuss what’s going down and chat it up!
#1. Ricky Starks vs. Juice Robinson
The match never got underway as Switchblade Jay White made his debut, assaulting Ricky Starks alongside Juice Robinson. White lands the Blade Runner on Starks to close the segment. Tony Khan also just made it official on Twitter… Jay White is All Elite!
“I guess this means this wasn’t the ‘important announcement’ then. So that’s still to come…”
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In a backstage interview with Tony Schiavone, Chris Jericho says he respects Adam Cole, but his celebration following last week’s main event was incredibly disrespectful to Daniel Garcia. Keith Lee, hair and beard white as snow, confronts Jericho, calling out his own disrespectful attitude, and challenges him to a match next week on Dynamite. Jericho backs away without an answer…
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#2. AEW World Trios Championships: House Of Black vs. Orange Cassidy & Best Friends – Winner: House Of Black
We’re in Long Island, so guess what… The Best Friends came to arena in Aunty Sue’s minivan. The finish say Buddy Matthews landed the curb stomp on Chuck Taylor for the pinfall.
“Besides, considering the teams involved, this was a typical spot-fest. It’s what happens every week, so there’s nothing to praise, and there’s no reason to critique this.”
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We see a creepy backstage vignette featuring Christian Cage and Luchasaurus. They leased The Fiend’s proprietary red lighting for this…
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#3. AEW Women’s World Championship: Jamie Hayter vs. Riho – Winner: Jamie Hayter
We saw a competitive match between the two women before Hayter pinned Riho following the ‘Hayterade.’
“…waiting for The Outcasts to attack, but they never do.”
Instead, we cut to the back, where Renee Moxley Good is standing by with Saraya, Toni Storm and Ruby Soho. The Outcasts send a message to Jamie Hayter, letting her know that they are coming for the AEW Women’s World Championship.
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Do you know what makes Daddy Magic’s nipples hard? Evidently, it’s the prospective of The Acclaimed joining the Jericho Appreciation Society. Out comes The Acclaimed. Caster’s rapping, taking digs and holing souls… umm… okay, that doesn’t make sense.
Anyway, Angelo Parker cuts him off, and lets The Acclaimed know that they will be teaming together in an eight-man tag team match on Rampage. Daddy Mac and Cool Hand Luke want to scissor with Caster and Bowens, but according to Billy Gunn, that’s not a wise idea. Instead, Billy, Bowens and Caster scissor each other, and the crowd goes wild!!
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Next up, it’s time for MJF DAY!! We’re in Long Island, which means Bizarro World, and this is going to be absolutely incre…. uh, uh, uh, MAGICAL!
There’s a jazz band on the stage, and out comes the hometown hero, with a specual mic reserved for him. According to MJF, when it rains in Long Islang, it doesn’t simply rain water, it rains…Pennies from Heaven.
MJF proceeds with his very own rendition of Pennies from Heaven.
“Alright, MJF is absolutely on the mic, and not just cutting promos. His voice is like that of an angel from heaven. This is beautiful.”
Joseph Salidino, the Supervisor of the Town, is in the ring. Apparently, this local politician isn’t that popular, and he’s being booed out of the building. The crowd keeps showering booes on this schmuck, until he admits that the key to the town given to MJF doesn’t do him justice. He presents a huge symbolic key to Long Island to the AEW World Champion, and the babies are up in the air!
The crowd starts booing this Saldino schmuck again before he leaves the ring and MJF finally has his time on the mic.
MJF has the crowd in the palm of his hand. The crown rains boos as he mentions Jungle Boy, Sammy Guevara and Darby Allin Some like Darby, Sammy, and definitely Jungle Boy. He says Jungle Boy’s girl has a wandering eye, and he has a small dick.
He has another story for us. He says when he was a kid, and still today, he’s got Attention Deficit Disorder, A.D.D. We get an A.D.D chant.
He also had a teacher in 8th Grade, one Mrs. Benedict. Sounds like a stupid bitch. Oh wait, she is! MJF talks about his love for professional wrestling and how he always dreamt of being a wrestler and a world champion.
When he wasn’t attentive in class, this stupid bitch mocked him and told his classmates to not be like him. On the last day of school, Mrs. Benedict asked him why he was not paying attention. He cited his dream of being a professional wrestler, and Mrs. Benedict mocked him again.
But now, he has the key to Long Island. He’s the reigning, defending, AEW World Heavyweight Champion. Don’t be like Mrs. Benedict. DON’T BE A STUPID BITCH.
He tells any Long Island kid that is struggling, that if you work hard, if bust your ass, you can be anything you want to be…except MJF.
MJF grabs the BBB and head back up the ramp. He asks Long Island if they’d like to hear an encore. YES! YES! YES! One of the guys hits their mark a bit early. MJF gets in his face him, saying they practiced this. He apologizes to the crowd.
Surprise! the guy turns out to be Jungle Boy. He attacks MJF to a chorus of boos. Ground and pound! MJF reverses! The babies are up in the air!! Agents and referees are come out to break them apart. Out comes Sammy Guevara. The belt is lying there, and he hoists it up as MJF struggles to break free from the officials surrounding him.
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