Adam Cole vs. Frankie Kazarian
Cole wins with the Panama Sunrise followed by the Last Shot.
Winner: Adam Cole
Who’s ready for STORY TIME? Hope is a dangerous thing, and the locker room hopes they can keep up with the Elite. Three guys have gotten under his skin. Christian Cage, Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy. Cole says those three can take on Adam Cole & the Young Bucks next week in a six-man tag. The Super Kliq is back bay bay!
Lucha Brothers and Butcher & Blade used to be a family. Alex tells us Penta says they can challenge for the straps on Rampage.
Tony is backstage with Fuego del Sol & Sammy Guevara. Fuego is going to put his new car on the line against Miro’s TNT Championship. Punk says he has a lot to teach these kids.
MJF wants his music cut. He is standing in the armpit of America known as New Jersey. Well, I can’t agree with the Bruce Springsteen smack. The Devils suck though. He’s salt of the Earth, and very religious, so he wants to have a conversation with the late, great Brian Pillman. MJF is a huge fan, but his widow Methanie created the worst excuse for a second generation wrestler in Brian Pillman Jr.. If Brian shows up in that awful town known as Queens, he’ll get his ass kicked. They can chant Pillman all they want, but before he hits the catchphrase, Brian Jr’s music hits. He sends Wardlow to the entranceway, but Brian sneaks in the back door. Brian sends Wardlow out of the ring and his music hits again.
JR talks to Brian Jr. about his father. He was embarrassed for Brian & his dad last week, and he wants to see MJF get his ass kicked at Arthur Ashe. Brian agrees he let the people down last week. We don’t know the adversity he’s been through. MJF will step in the ring with a Pillman next week.
Jungle Boy wants to talk! He’s got better friends and better hair than Adam Cole does. Christian Cage accepts the challenge. See ya at the Rampage Grand Slam bay bay.
FTR vs. Dante Martin and Matt Sydal
FTR wins with Big Rig.
Can’t wait for the FTR/Lucha Brothers match is all I have to say.
We go back to the booth, and CM Punk is ready to talk about the Suzuki Incident. He is insulted by his music getting cut off during his entrance, and he wants revenge. Lance Archer points out how Moxley wanted Suzuki in Cincinnati, but it’ll be different in Arthur Ashe. They’ll show Mox & Suzuki what strong style is all about.
Malakai Black is here. That is a demonic looking individual. Punk points out how the temperature has changed. Black asks the members of his house to rise, for they have an enemy in their midst. Apparently that enemy is Rosario Dawson, a friend of Cody! And here comes Cody! Rosario attacks beforehand! Cody arrives in his red suit and it’s BONZO GONZO!
We take a look back at the history between Anna Jay & The Bunny. Bunny threatens to drag her down the Rabbit Hole. The Dark Order is backstage and still arguing. Anna doesn’t want them out there if they can’t get their stuff together. Tay’s got her back.
Dan Lambert is out here talking shit. Not sure if he should be talking about short people doing flips when Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky are his men, but here comes Chris Jericho! Along with Jake Hager! Lambert tells them to turn the music off while Excalibur runs down the MMA fighters in the ring Lambert didn’t introduce. “I’m a fat-faced dipshit yeah yeah yeah” is apparently Lambert’s theme. Lambert runs down Jericho’s book of the month club and his records. Jericho wants to know which one of the meatheads is on top of American Top Team. Jake is undefeated in MMA, and Jericho has been fighting MMA people backstage his whole career.
Mike Tyson says everybody’s got a plan until they get punched, so why don’t they walk down there and do that right now. Lambert says it’ll happen in a real city, like New York City. Next week at the Grand Slam. Jericho says if Page & Sky are too big of pussies to face them in Jersey, there will be no Escape From New York.
Jade Cargill vs. Leyla Hirsch
Cargill wins with Jaded.
Winner: Jade Cargill
Andrade El Idolo explains why Chavo got beat up after Friday’s match. He’s not the boss! Punk is very impressed by Andrade & Pac. Taz walks up with Hook & here we go. Hobbs attacks from behind! Hooks with a dragon sleeper! Hooks clears the announce area so Hobbs can slam Punk through the table!
We see clips of the last segment, then a recap of the issues between Shawn Spears & Darby Allin.
Shawn Spears vs. Darby Allin
Allin wins with Coffin Drop.
Winner: Darby Allin
FTR appear in the ring. They attack Sting & Darby! Tully hits Sting with the chair and that doesn’t go well. FTR attacks Sting in response. Darby’s response is muted. Spike Piledriver to Sting! FTR holds Sting while Tully tries to wipe the facepaint off! Jesus Christ, what is wrong with these people?
Bryan Danielson is going after one member of the Elite. He wants Kenny Omega to be his first match, but he’ll take on whoever.
Tony Schiavone is in the ring to introduce Bryan Danielson. Before Bryan can start talking, Mr. Pepto Bismol Don Callis comes out. Tony gets out of the ring right away this time. Callis claims that Bryan is a mark like all these people. Bryan gets tired of Don, as he’s here to talk to Kenny. Someday this will be about the title, right now it’s just about who’s better. Don says there’s no way. Bryan calls him a piece of shit. Bryan points out that Kenny hangs out with a bunch of stooges and lets a piece of shit talk to him. He doesn’t think Kenny lost a step, he just lost his balls. Yes or No? Kenny answers with Yes. Callis doesn’t look pleased. The fans seem pleased!
Miro is wondering why Fuego is calling him out. He will bash his brains and bash his car.
Loaded card Friday night! We’ll see Danielson vs. Omega on Wednesday night! FTR will take on Darby & Sting! Friday night Grand Slam is freaking loaded! I’m working all next week so I’m pissed about all of this.
Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley vs. 2point0
Spinning backfist! DDT! Mox tags in, clothesline with a half & half suplex gets the win!
Winners: Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley
Oh shit, here comes Minoru Suzuki! New Jersey is nice enough to give him his entrance while Lance Archer yanks Eddie out of the ring. It’s completely broken down now. Mox blocks the Gotch style piledriver on a table and they ramble on to the other side of the arena.