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Impact Wrestling Results (1/5/2021)
#1. Ace Austin (w/ Madman Fulton) vs. Blake Christian vs. KC Navarro vs. Crazzy Steve — Winner: Crazzy Steve
– Sami Callihan is at his computer. He says everything in life has a purpose. It has been pretty obvious that Eddie Edwards’ purpose is to show the world that anything is possible. If you work hard and play by the rules, the good guys win in the end. He is on the other end of the spectrum. We don’t live in a fairy tale. For the most part, bad guys win in the end. If he were Eddie, he would make sure his wife is nowhere near ringside. Anything is possible. Thumbs up! Thumbs down!
– Tony Schiavone and Tony Khan return to Impact Wrestling with another paid commercial. The following announcement is paid for by AEW. Since it’s the holiday season, they are here to help the less fortunate like Impact Wrestling. They plug New Year’s Smash, which features a huge card. Speaking of AEW, Don says he was responsible for its creation… but Tony paid for everything. He can do literally everything but wrestle in the ring. Callis is nothing but a parasite to the business, while he is a provider.
– In the AEW bus, Kenny Omega and Don Callis are hanging out with The Good Brothers. Callis feels left out because he doesn’t have a belt. But enough about that, they need to get down to business. There’s no one beating the Bullet Club experience. Kenny Omega asks if there is any chemistry between Motor City Machine Guns and Rich Swann? Hell no. They are only fueled by hate. Bullet Club is a family for, for, for, for life.
– Cousin Jake is in the ring and is upset because he feels like he has lost his family Cody Deaner. He & Rhino call out Eric Young and Joe Doering. They enter the ringside area with Cody Deaner… who is sporting a new look. EY says he opened Cody’s eyes to the truth and he answers only to him now. They walk to the ring for a tag team match.
#2. Cousin Jake & Rhino vs. Cody Deaner & Joe Doering (w/ Eric Young) — Winners: Cody Deaner & Joe Doering with the DDT
The heels beat down Cousin Jake & Rhino after the match, which draws the attention of ECW legend Tommy Dreamer. He storms to the ring with a kendo stick and clears the ring. He lays down a challenge to EY and his boys. At Hard To Kill, he wants to go “Old School” rules, him, Jake & Rhino against the three of them. Eric Young accepts.
– Matthew Palmer is welcomed to Impact Wrestling. He has a three minute challenge tonight against Moose. He was the security guy who accidentally ripped Moose’s shirt two weeks ago. If he manages to last the three minutes, I guess the whole world will know who Matthew Palmer is.
– Johnny Swinger has his own office now, which surprises Acey Romero. He tells Swinger that Larry has been set up, but Swinger isn’t interested. He tells him that if he wants to find anything out, go barging in to the Knockouts locker room… he does it all the time and they don’t mind.
– Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t understand why Taya Valkyrie has such a problem with her. She’s going to get her opportunity at Hard To Kill, but what happens when she locks in the Fujiwara Armbar? She is the Virtuosa and the first-ever Ironwoman of Impact Wrestling. Does she finally accept reality? Or continue this downward spiral of delusion and denial? Taya Valkyrie’s music hits.
She comes to the ring with Rosemary. She’s going to make it really easy for Deonna. She is the longest reigning champion in Impact Wrestling history, and while her reign has been impressive, she has never faced her. Purrazzo laughs at Taya because she beat Jordynne Grace, who was the woman who beat her for the title. Look around at what she has done to this division since she came to Impact. When she beats Valkyrie at Hard To Kill, everything she has done in the past won’t matter. Taya retorts by saying she will end the era of the Virtuosa.
– Rohit Raju and Chris Bey are talking backstage. Raju wants to get in his good books, but they won’t be even til Bey is X-Division champion again. He thinks they need to take out TJP because he is clearly Manik. They both catch up with TJP and ask him if his buddy Manik is around. Bey suggests a tag team match against him and Manik. TJP says he & Manik do not get along at all, but if he manages to see him… he will let him know.
– Rosemary is with Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb with a K for some reason. Dashwood asks if she is thinking what she is thinking? No, that’s unlikely. She’s wondering where it leaves her if Taya is challenging for the title. What she’s trying to say is that when one door closes, another door opens. Rosemary knocks on Kaleb’s head and tells them to be gone. Was Tenille trying to form a tag team with her? The message was not very well received.
#3. [Knockouts Tag Tournament Semi-Final] Jordynne Grace & Jazz vs. Havok & Neveah — Winners: Havok & Neveah with a Tombstone Piledriver
– Rich Swann & the Motor City Machine Guns are wondering who Omega & The Good Brothers think they are. Impact was built by guys like the Machine Guns and Rich Swann. The champ is now repping from the streets of Detroit, siding with one of the greatest teams in the history of wrestling. He’d be damned if someone from another company is going to come in and act like they own this place, after everything he has been through! Hell no.
Alex Shelley suggests they go find their bus and kick their asses. Why not? They make their way past Kenny Omega’s security and bang on the bus door. It’s like they knew they were coming, as Omega & The Good Brothers ambush them from behind. Callis sticks the AEW title in Swann’s face and tells him Kenny is the real world champion. Omega says they were pretty “easy to kill” before Hard To Kill.
– Jazz catches up with Jordynne Grace and asks her what’s up. Grace says she was frustrated and left her hanging out there. Not only is she disappointed in herself, but for Jazz because she put her retirement on hold for this. She asks if she has what it takes to keep her career going? Would she be up for a match at Genesis on Saturday? Jazz is up for the challenge.
– Father James Mitchell has an update on Su Yung for Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee. It seems when they worked on turning Yung in to Suzie full-time, it had an unpredictable outcome. Su Yung/Suzie emerges from the room as “Susan”, a seemingly normal human being from what we can see.
#4. [3 Minute Challenge] Moose vs. Matthew Palmer — Winner: Matthew Palmer survived with help from Willie Mack
Ethan Page is on the couch talking about his worries to someone. He had plans, but everything fell apart. It turns out that he is consoling in himself… Karate Man! Who calls him a bitch. What the hell is going on?! Ethan Page wants to fight Karate Man? Yeah, that’s not happening. At Hard To Kill, Karate Man will fight Ethan Page on his terms. Ok, I’m intrigued.
#5. Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards — Winner: No Contest
The referee stopped the match because both wrestlers pushed him over. They keep fighting after the bell. Eddie wants to knock him out cold with a baseball bat, but Callihan gets his phone and hacks the stage screen to show Alisha as a prisoner in the backstage area.
Eddie smashes him in the face with the bat and runs to the back to save his wife. Shamrock surprises Eddie and brawls with him to keep him occupied til Callihan comes along. Together, they stop Eddie and gloat at Alisha before walking away satisfied with their night’s work.