#1. The North vs. The Deaners – Winners: The North
Nice tag team wrestling. Next up, Taya Valkyrie is with Rosemary complaining about her hangout. They made a contract deal to help each other, meaning Rosemary will get a title shot down the line if she keeps to the agreement. Valkyrie is concerned, but Rosemary reassures she has the champions back in their match against “The Goblins” Su Yung & Jessicka Havok.
– Footage airs of Moose’s interference in a match at House of Hardcore. He spears Tommy Dreamer and blames Rob Van Dam for it.
#2. Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary vs. Su Yung & Jessicka Havok – Winners: Draw due to Double Countout
The action continues despite the bell ringing. Rosemary spears Su Yung, saving Taya. Havok’s in the ring with steel chairs, but Taya steals one from Havok and stomps it in her face. Rosemary reveals a little red bag .. spilling hundreds of thumbtacks on to the mat. They try to double suplex Su Yung into them, but Havok saves. While fighting their opponents, Yung accidentally hits Havok. They start fighting among themselves, which prompts James Mitchell to come down and put a stop to it.
– Prior to a week ago, was anyone aware of TJ Perkins’ employment? Ace Austin says his loss last week was unfair, as the only reason he lost was because he couldn’t prepare. Perkins joins the interview, and tells Austin a challenge is coming, so he better get studying.
– Tough loss by The Deaners. They try convincing themselves they don’t suck. The Desi Hit Squad show up and belittle them for celebrating a loss by drinking. They call The Deaners losers before walking away.
GWN Moment Of The Week: Sanada (c) vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazzy Steve in a Ladder match for the X-Division Championship at Slammiverary XII (2014)
– Eddie Edwards is in church. A priest asks when was the last time he had confession. He opens up about everything that he’s lost. There’s a constant voice in his head telling him to do bad things. Somehow, the priest transforms in to Killer Kross. Eddie grabs him, but Kross convinces him not to fight in church. Kross asks what he’s afraid of .. losing himself, or finding himself?
Eddie tells him he wants to fight, so he’s gonna wait outside. Kross says he will be waiting a long time .. as he likes it here. He sits down and enjoys the peace. A priest comes over and asks Kross if he wants to confess his sins. Kross admits he confesses his sins everyday. He’s almost hugging the priest, as he lets the priest know they will be in confession a long time.
– Backstage in a staff room area, John E. Bravo’s boasting about his partnership with Johnny Impact. The refs and jobbers tell him he’s nothing but a stooge. Bravo says Johnny “completes him”, which makes the room cackle with laughter. They can’t stop laughing as Bravo tries to save his rep. Swann walks in and wants to shut Bravo up .. but Impact is there in time to stop it. Swann & Mack challenge Johnny and his stooge to a match later, which he accepts.
*In the next match, Callihan did initially have Madman Fulton at ringside, but due to his unwanted interference, Callihan ordered Fulton to go to the back.
#3. Sami Callihan* vs. Fallah Bahh (w/ Scarlett Bordeaux) – Winner: Sami Callihan with the Cactus Jack Piledriver from the second rope
– Callihan has a mic. He tells an annoying fan to “screw you jackass”. He says the fans chant “Draw”, because he’s over like only a “Male” wrestler can be. So he sits down in the middle of the ring and hijacks the show, telling the fans to shut up as he has something important to say. He wants to say it straight to Tessa’s face, so he orders her to get out there right now.
She looks incredibly pissed. Callihan holds the rope down for her .. like a class act. In response, she jumps over the third rope. Callihan says she’s not going to do jack shit to him in her high heels, because he’s a male and he’s Impact Wrestling. This is where it gets good. So she wants to preach equal rights? She wants to be treated equal, right? Here we go .. Sami boots Tessa full ball in the face. Thumbs up, thumbs down.
Sami fails to see Tessa get back up from the stiff shot .. and she goes to town on him. The Crist Brothers intervene and hold her arms back. Callihan baseball bats her in the stomach. He licks the bat, before grabbing Tessa by the hair .. who spits in his face. Callihan spikes her with the Cactus Jack special. He lays his legs on her, showing off with the ultimate disrespect. “What a b*****d!”, exclaims Josh Mathews.
#4. LAX & Laredo Kid (w/ Konnan) vs. The Rascalz – Winners: The Rascalz
– Madision Rayne defeated Jordynne Grace two weeks ago. She should be so proud of the win, but unfortunately, the finish was shrouded with controversy due to Kiera Hogan. Madison thinks Jordynne should get a rematch .. but Kiera interrupts and says Jordynne doesn’t deserve anything. Hogan claims every Knockout in the locker room, deep down inside .. are all selfish bitches. Rayne admits maybe she’s right, but if what she’s trying to do is bring out the ugly in the locker room? Then she better meet her in the ring next week, to see how ugly it can get.
– Smoky Rascalz segment: They literally crawl to their seats after the big win over LAX & Laredo Kid. Trey claims he should be going to Slammiversary (he got the fall), but Wentz says the tag team is he & Dez. Wentz says if he’s going to be like that, he’ll team with him. Dez doesn’t like that idea, he wants to be in the match. They discuss tickle butt competition to decide who will team .. but come to the conclusion it’s not appropriate. Instead, they agree to a triple threat match next week, with the loser not going to the tag team title match at Slammiversary.
The Machine Rises
Brian Cage appears to be heading to the ring, but someone cuts him off and tells him he’s not cleared. Cage laughs, picks the guy up, and moves him to one side. The World Champ is making his way to the ring .. he’s got something to say. Cage calls out Big Mike. It’s taken fourteen years to finally claim he’s one of the best in the business. Mike took the biggest celebration of his life away by sending him to the hospital. But here he stands, and Mike’s going to find out .. he can’t break this machine. In nine days at Slammiversary, he’s going to find that out. (Quoting Chris Kanyon) Who better than Cage? The physician comes out to get Cage backstage, but the champ F5s him.
Elgin jumps in the ring and ambushes Cage from behind. Big Mike buckle bombs him, and follows with the Elgin Bomb. He picks the title up and taunts the champ with it. As he goes to walk away, The Machine holds on to his leg. Elgin isn’t impressed, as he responds with another Elgin Bomb. Mike grabs a table from under the ring, and sets it up on the outside. He picks Cage up again, and sends him crashing over the top rope through the table below.
Mike gets on commentary and tells the world he’s the next champ. Don Callis gets in his face, telling him to leave the ringside area or he’ll be fired. Mike punches him, and gets Callis in the ring. After kicking him in the gut, he thinks about hitting the Elgin Bomb on Callis .. but Cage is up! The Machine has risen. They collide and brawl .. as the show abruptly ends mid-fight. And that’s all folks! Slammiversary this Sunday.