Because I watch in the UK and 5Star decided to air the show at 1:30am, I fell asleep waiting for it to start. So apologies if it’s late, but 5Star should stick to airing it anytime between 10pm-12am (it’s very random) so people in the UK have a chance of seeing it.
#1. TJP vs. Golden Magic vs. Trey vs. Taurus – Winner: Golden Magic with the 450
Another quality opening to Impact. Golden Magic pinned Trey while TJP had Taurus in a submission. The luchadors were impressive, but TJP feels robbed.
– Next up we have Chica Tormenta backstage. Wow .. she looks so much like Sexy Star I thought she was her. Kiera Hogan walks in to the locker room and wants Chica to be excused as she’s sitting in her seat. Another wrestler called Vanilla walks in and speaks Spanish to Chica, but this only riles her up more. Jordynne Grace steps in to stick up for Tormenta. Madison Rayne gets in the middle and tells ’em to relax. As locker room leader, she books them in a tag match tonight.
– Every action has a reaction says Michael Elgin. There’s a toll to be paid for every path chosen. Tonight, in falls count anywhere, the toll is steep for Rhino. That means the powerbomb could be through a stage, on the fans, wherever he wants it to be. A smart man only picks a fight they can win, which makes Rhino pretty stupid.
#2. The Rascalz, Dez & Wentz vs. Rich Swann & Willie Mack – Winners: Willie Mack & Rich Swann with the Frog Splash on Dez
Post-match, both teams show the utmost respect with hugs and raising each other’s arms.
– Ken Shamrock responds to Moose. He thanks Impact for the opportunity, and explains how the feud came to be. During a conversation on Twitter with Brian Cage, Moose responded angrily to him. Tommy Dreamer tried to get him to backtrack, but Moose told him to f*** off. Shamrock tells us how he used to live out of cars, and he’s been stabbed before .. so he knows what a tough guy looks like and that’s not Moose. He reels off a long list of titles, proving his credibility as a champion. On September 5th & 6th, he will be standing in front of Moose in Las Vegas.
– Moose responds. He says Shamrock is only doing this because he wants publicity for his new bare knuckle fighting promotion. There’s a word we use to describe people like Shamrock .. which is “attention whore” (I’m sure that’s two words). Ken describes himself as the “World’s Most Dangerous Man”, so that should make Moose shake in his boots? Let’s look at the facts. He’s stronger than him. Faster than him. He’s a 5-star athlete with the best trainers, so only one person will be getting hurt in Vegas. As Moose calls Shamrock the “World’s Biggest Attention Whore”, Fallah Bahh steps in to the frame. Moose calls him the fattest attention whore. Bahh says “Me. You. One more time … bitch!”.
– We get a short vignette hyping former WCW, WWE and TNA talent Johnny Swinger’s return to Impact Wrestling. Don’t sing it .. just swing it. Coming soon.
– Taya Valkyrie & John E. Bravo (holding 236 sign) is with Melissa Santos. In just a few days, Valkyrie will become the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history. On this day, Taya will defend her title against someone big. After the win, she will return to Slam Town to ride out the last two days drinking champagne with her husband.
– We’re on The Deaner’s farm, chickens and all. They are sitting on some bales of hay drinking beer, saying this is the life. Cody asks if they have had enough. Jake says they sure have .. but he hasn’t. They laugh as the Desi Hit Squad struggle with life on the farm. Gama Singh is sitting backwards on a horse, asking where its head is. He tells Rohit Raju to remind him to slap him when they get out of this. The Deaners get the Desi Hit Squad shoveling manure and it’s a serious struggle; Gama’s almost passing out from the heat. Cody agrees they have worked hard, so he gives them a break before the serious work later. Raju is with the horses and is really enjoying spending time with them.
-oVe cam with Sami Callihan. How much of a sore loser is Tessa Blanchard? She had to stick her nose in again after he beat Tommy Dreamer. When you’re going against one member of oVe, you go against all of ’em. Maybe Tessa will finally learn her lesson not to mess with the Callihan death machine. Sami is done with Dreamer, and he thought he was done with Tessa too .. but that’s what’s getting under his skin and pissing him off. Impact officials still haven’t announced when he will get his title shot against Brian Cage. They are holding The Draw down because they don’t want him to be the face of the company. They’re coddling Cage and giving him everything he wants.
He doesn’t care if Cage is crippled, Impact need to do what’s right. If he’s not going to step in the ring, they might as well strip him and hand the title over to the #1 contender. But at the end of the day, he would prefer to beat Cage one-on-one so he can make history. He’s giving management a deadline of one more week, for Cage to show up and give him some answers. If they don’t? oVe are gonna cause more chaos than they ever have before. Like it or not, Callihan will become the face of Impact Wrestling. oVe’s taking over everything! x3
#3. [Knockouts Championship] Taya Valkyrie (c) (w/ John E. Bravo) vs. Big Mami – Winner: Taya Valkyrie retains with the STF
Josh was hoping it would be Tenille Dashwood as her opponent. Although it was impressive to see such a big woman doing a moonsault, Big Mami came dangerously close to seriously injuring her neck. Valkyrie gets on the mic and further talks herself up. Oh wait!? It’s Tenille Dashwood! She walks up to the champion, who berates and curses at her in Spanish. Tenille takes down the champion and John E. Bravo enters the ring to split them up. Dashwood dropkicks him in the face for interfering. Taya escapes and keeps running her mouth. Tenille holds up the Knockouts Championship, showing her intentions in Impact Wrestling.
#4. Kiera Hogan & Vanilla vs. Jordynne Grace & Chica Tormenta – Winners: No Contest as Madison Rayne interfered after Grace pushed her
It’s 3-on-2 til Rosemary comes out and makes the save. It’s announced that this has been changed to a Trios match.
#5. Kiera Hogan, Vanilla & Madison Rayne vs. Jordynne Grace, Chica Tormenta & Rosemary – Winners: Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Chica Tormenta
Rosemary picked up the win after Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan abandoned Vanilla.
Flashback Moment Of The Week: Ken Shamrock (c) vs. Malice for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship on NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #3
– Ace Austin & Alisha Edwards are at the beach. Apparently he sent her 25 text messages telling her to meet him there as it’s an emergency. He tells her there’s such a beautiful view here, and he knew she’d appreciate it. Alisha does not look thrilled and asks him what he wants. He wants to set the stage for something he wants to share, without Eddie or anyone else interfering. Austin wants to tell her how he feels, but just as he’s about to tell her he loves her .. two mystery mugger’s show up to steal Alisha’s bag.
Austin says he’s got this .. he tackles one of them, and they throw the bag to the other. He chases the other (who drops the bag) in to the ocean and they fight as Alisha looks on. The mugger escapes and Ace goes under water for a second. He emerges and does this .. slow-motion Baywatch-esque thing with funky music in the background. Alisha asks if he’s Ok .. and he is because he got her bag. She thanks him and walks off because she has a match. Austin’s left with a cheeky smile. He meets up with the muggers who turn out to be Reno Scum; he paid them off for this stunt.
Even More Promos
– LAX (w/ Santana) are backstage with Konnan. The North walk up to them and Ethan Page tells them the perks don’t go to them anymore, they go to the champions because they are the best team in the world. Konnan gets in their faces and calls them glory hole bitches, and he could have them shot, stabbed, kidnapped, or just straight up disappear if he wants. He asked them there to demand a title shot with LAX which is owed to them. Family insults are exchanged, which riles Santana up.
He says LAX are four-time champions, the longest reigning tag champions who put this company on their backs. LAX has proven themselves, and what have The North done? Konnan says it’s idiot’s luck. Ortiz is so confident in beating The North, that he offers the stipulation of LAX having to leave Impact Wrestling if they were to lose. He doesn’t want to be here if LAX can’t take out those scrubs.
#6. [Falls Count Anywhere] Michael Elgin vs. Rhino – Winner: Michael Elgin with the Elgin Bomb
Elgin took advantage after Rhino missed the Gore and crashed through a table. And the show quickly comes to a close.