Note: Apologies, I will not be able to post results as detailed as they would usually be. This is because I am helping the news team tonight, but it will go back to normal next week.
The North open the show dressing like, and using LAX’s theme. After insulting LAX and Impact, Konnan enters and slings a bunch of insults at them. “You couldn’t be stars if you were thrown by a ninja”. Konnan says LAX may be gone, but he has some “extreme friends”.
#1. The North, Ethan Page & Josh Alexander vs. Rob Van Dam & Rhino (w/ Konnan) – Winners: Rob Van Dam & Rhino with the 5-Star Frog Splash
– Gama Singh threatens Raj Singh and Rohit Raju to step up their game or he will go back to India and find replacements.
#2. Shera (w/ Desi Hit Squad vs. Cousin Jake (w/ Cody Deaner) – Winner: Shera with the Powerslam
#3. Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood – Winner: Tenille Dashwood with The Spotlight
– Ken Shamrock returns to Impact Wrestling. He talks about memories, like when he held the World Championship. Now he’s back, and the reason for that is the fans; he thanks them for the support. Last few weeks he’s been talking to Brian Cage, and then suddenly this Moose chimes in. He starts telling Shamrock how great he is in every way. Now he’s pissed, Moose has the mouth, let him come shut it for ya. He talked to Scott (D’Amore) about this guy, as he wants to put him in a grave. Scott says he’d love to have Shamrock in Vegas. So Ken is here to put Moose in his grave. The crowd chants “Where’s Moose?”, which Ken says is typical. He’s not going anywhere til Moose shows up.
Moose does appear, but on the titantron screen at Shamrock’s fighting dojo/gym. Moose says he does what he wants, and he talks a lot of smack while edging toward an Octagon ring. Someone tries to stop him getting in, but Moose goes on a rampage and takes out Ken’s students. At Bound For Glory, Moose angrily tells Shamrock he’s going to kick his f*****g ass. Wow, intense.
– Rosemary wants Taya Valkyrie to be a warrior again, if she wants her help in future. The champ gives her matching outfits for Melissa Santos’ wedding, which she is not pleased to receive.
Flashback Moment Of The Week: Eric Young & ODB get married in a steel cage, April 12th on Impact Wrestling
#4. [Qualifying Match] Tessa Blanchard vs. Dave Crist (w/ Jake Crist & Madman Fulton – Winner: Tessa Blanchard with the Magnum
Post match, Jake Crist and Madman Fulton attack Tessa. Fulton stops her with two high chokeslams in succession.
– The Impact Wrestling roster are getting ready for the wedding. Alisha Edwards has lost Eddie, and of course .. Ace Austin is on hand to escort her. We’re waiting for the ceremony to begin and some funny moments ensue; like Rosemary appearing outta’ nowhere (she is not wearing the outfit Taya gave her). Did I forget to mention Johnny Swinger’s here? Anyways, Tommy Dreamer escorts the bride Melissa Santos down the aisle. Brian’s brother Ryan will conduct the ceremony
Ryan Cage asks if anyone has any objection to Brian and Melissa’s marriage. Taya stands up and rambles on about nonsense for a couple minutes. Ethan Page stands up and specifically wants to talk about how Impact Wrestling treats its “superstars”. He wants to form a union and bring fair pay to wrestling. Where’s The North’s royalty checks? Ryan’s getting a little annoyed now. Eddie Edwards stumbles in and is pretty hammered. He throws up all over Ryan’s face .. and then knocks him out. Tommy Dreamer asks if there’s a minister around ..
.. enter Father James Mitchell. They do the exchanging of the rings. Mitchell asks the couple if they will take each other in sickness and health, forever and always. By the power invested in him, Satan, and the state of Nevada, let these two be wed. Melissa invites the roster to join them in the wrestling ring for the reception. “It’s time to party” says Josh. Brian Cage and Melissa Santos come to the ring and have their spotlight dance. And of course .. here comes Sami Callihan to ruin it.
He wants to let Brian know he wants him to train. He wants the old Cage, because when he puts the title on the line, he doesn’t want a has-been, he wants ‘The Machine’. Callihan calls for a good old-fashioned toast for the beautiful couple. He wishes them the best .. before calling the bride a bitch. Sami turns away and Brian grabs him, Callihan turns to hit him with a bottle .. but hits Melissa in the head! He’s regretful and is told to leave. Do wrestling weddings ever work out? The show comes to an end, with everyone checking on the bride.