Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, February 27th, 2012 (USA Network)
Location: The Rose Garden Arena in Portland, Oregon
Results by Tony Acero
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
We start the show with the Super Serious Cena promo from last week and in case you didn’t know, John Cena is ready. Like super ready. And we’re starting with a doozy here as we’re getting CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan right out the gate!
Ooooo, but before this match gets started, Chris Jericho’s music hits and he has something to say! He makes his way quickly down the ramp and scowls as sharply as his jacket. Jericho knows that there’s a big match, but what he has to say is more important. He would like to preface it by saying that he thinks Punk is one of his favorite performers, but he’s not as good at Jericho and he knows it. He never had to call himself the best, other people said it for him. He never had to write it on the back of a t-shirt, it would be on the back of the signs. He is part of a special breed of performers. He is one of a dying breed of performers that toured the world honing their craft, learning their skills and becoming stars before ever getting to the WWE…hmmmmm. A breed that cared more about performance than the hierarchy of power. A breed that was given nothing and took everything. He’s got a bad attitude and a bad reputation, but he didn’t give a damn because he knew he was good and he knew he was the best. Now, Punk is just like Jericho. A maverick, a rebel that went against the grain. Something more than anyone though that he would. In translation, it’s because Punk just wants to be Jericho.
Punk stops him, he says everyone is aware of how good Jericho is. The issue Punk has is him coming out here and accusing Punk is stealing his gimmick. Punk brings up Bret Hart who claimed to be the best. Did Jericho invent that? Did he invent Canada? Jericho calls it typical and smarmy, never serious. Punk needs to take Jericho serious, because this is a whole different level from anything. This isn’t some kind of gimmick, he is the best in the world and has proven it for the past 22 years. He says his matches will live long after he is gone. Punk says that Jericho keeps saying that, his words scream superiority but the inflection in his voice shows inferiority. Who is he trying to prove that he’s the best to; the people? Punk? Or himself? It seems Jericho is jealous. Punk came from the same place, the same obstacles, but now he has surpassed everything Jericho has done, didn’t he? Sure, Jericho beat Rock and Stone Cold in the same night 10 years ago, but he was never “The Man” like how CM Punk is the Man. He says that is Jericho’s fault, and only Jericho’s fault. CM Punk claims he is the best WRESTLER. The distinction is very simple, he was born this way, this is who he is and what he does. While Jericho chooses to leave to write books and be on game shows and be a Rock Star. All the while, I’m here, on top, swimming with sharks, while you’re dancing with stars!
Jericho says that all the while he was doing this superstar shit, all he could think of was CM Punk ripping him off. All of those Jan. 2 vignettes and the flashy jacket, it’s all window dressing because he came back for one reason and one reason only. To embarrass you on the biggest stage in the world and to shove down Punk’s throat that HE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT HE DOES. Punk says, that’s all you had to say then. Punk says that they don’t need the pyro or the inflatable letters and screw your stupid light bright jacket!!!! The only thing that they need is him and Jericho in a ring and on April 1st, we’re going to find out exactly who the best in the world is. He tells Jericho that when he sees Punk celebrating, it won’t be the end of THE world, it’s just going to be the end of Jericho’s. Cue Bryan’s music. AJ!!!!!
It appears that Teddy Long and Santino were at the announce booth the entire time. Johnny Ace and David Otunga join them as AJ stands ringside, wondering what I’m wearing…jeans, AJ. Jeans.
Match 1: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
Before Bryan’s music ends, he attacks Punk from behind and starts with some uppercuts. Punk turns it around with some back elbows and sends Bryan to the outside. Bryan runs up on the apron so Punk drops an elbow onto his shoulder and sends him back to the ground.
We are back and Bryan is kicking Punk in the corner. Punk turns it around with some chops then sends Bryan to the corner. Bryan flips over him but Punk hits an elbow and flies off top with a cross body. Pin for 1…2…NO! We get, seriously, the camera on the announce table for like 25 seconds. Wow, guys, way to focus on what’s important. Bryan has Punk in the corner and throws some shoulders into the gut then hits a hard uppercut and drops a knee on Punk. Bryan with a finger bend then another elbow to Punk’s chin. Bryan with some kicks to the back then a push to the head. Bryan with a kick again, but here comes Punk with some kicks of his own! Punk drives a few shin kicks to the back of Bryan then pins for 1…2..NO! Punk still in control whips Bryan into the ropes, eludes a kick, then tosses Bryan over the top rope! Bryan on the outside, calls for AJ just as CM Punk is about to dive over the ropes. Hahaha, perfect. Punk goes to the apron and Bryan trips him up, then tosses Punk to the steps. Bryan is grinning and we get another break…what the hell?
We are back and Daniel Bryan has Punk locked in an abdominable stretch. We missed a Superplex/pin ala last week during the break and again, we get the booth on the screen instead of the match. Bryan flies into the corner but Punk moves. Punk gets some leg kicks in then sends Bryan to the ropes and hits a leg lariat into a swinging neckbreaker. Punk with a high knee in the corner. He’s looking for the bull dog, but Bryan pushes off and goes for a kick. Punk ducks and hits a body slam then makes his way up top. He calls for the elbow, hits it! Punk sells the pain to his side and elbow instead of pinning. The crowd chants for Go to Sleep. Punk agrees. He’s about to go for it, but Otunga is on the apron. Bryan is up, goes for the LaBell Lock, Punk rolls forward, nice! Double crossbody! Otunga is on the apron. Santino goes for the save. Otunga pushes Santino so here comes the Cobra! Johnny Ace is there to pull Santino down and both the General Managers yell. Meanwhile, Bryan makes his way, sneakily, up the ramp but it’s short lived as Sheamus grabs him and tosses him back in the ring. Punk hits the G2S, pins 1…2…3
Winner: No Contest (*1/2)
I really wanted to give this five stars to piss some people off, but there’s no way I can rate this clusterfuck of a match anything above what you got here, and it’s not even the participants fault…this made me very angry…two commercial breaks and more focus on the announce table and the stupid General Manager feud than a possible BEST of Match and the WWE Champ and World Champ??
Johnny Ace is in the ring and tells the ref that the decision is no longer valid. Teddy Long has had nough, he gets in the ring and pushes Ace. The jacket is off! Teddy is gettin ready to scrap! Santino and Otunga are trying to break it up.
CM Punk, at the top of the ramp, holds his belt up and here comes Jericho with an attack from behind! He body slams Punk atop the steel ramp then locks in the Walls of Jericho, with a knee to the head for added insult. Out come the refs to break it up.
In the back, Josh Mathews claims that Punk is more angry than hurt. Thanks, Ollie for the update.
Punk Be Hurt!
Video package to sell Triple H vs. The Undertaker with various superstars talking about the match. Some of these interviews seem relatively old.
After the video, we are informed that there is an exclusive interview with HBK at wwe.com with his response to whether or not he is better than Triple H.
Match 2: Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella
Kelly goes straight for the Lou Thesz press and gets in some rights only for Nikki to get up and drop her to the mat. Nikki with a faceplant and a pin for 1…2..NO! Nikki with a snapmare and another pin for 1…2..Nope. Nikki with some kicks in the corner until the ref breaks it up. Kelly with a drop toe hold and Nikki goes face first into the corner. Kelly hits a hurricanrana then sends Nikki to the mat face first. The twins go for the switch, but Kelly baseball slides her outside the ring. Nikki pins with a roll up but Kelly reverses with a bridged pin for 1…2…3!!
Winner: Kelly Kelly (*)
Sad to see that a bridged pin gets high praise from the announce table.
We are back, and heading straight into our next match with The Awesome one and Mr. Daytona.
Miz comes out with a microphone. Before he gets to Cena, he has something he’s got to give off of his chest. He’s worked too hard to be treated like this. In the past year, no one has worked harder than Miz, not even John Cena. Who do you think the WWE calls upon to represent them? The Miz. He does all of this, but yet, his name has yet to be called upon for Wrestlemania. The crowd lays it in on him. He claims the crowd would love it if The Miz wasn’t even at Mania. It’s a crime, but everyone listen. He’s going to rectify this crime. He’s going to prove to everyone that he is Wrestlemania. He’s going to do it by beating the man he beat in the main event of last year’s Mania. Let’s hope Miz doesn’t injure Cena or Vinnie Mac will assure he ain’t going to any Manias.
Match 3: The Miz vs. John Cena
Lock up to start and Cena quickly turns it into a side headlock. Miz gets in a sideheadlock of his own. Rope work ends in an arm drag from Cena and a right hand to The Miz. Cena tosses Miz to the corner then hits a nice Fisherman’s Suplex. Cena with a knee to Miz’s face. Cena with a back elbow to The Muz. Cena looks for the FU real quick but Miz fights out and we get a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo and a pin for 1…2….NO! Miz with some knees to Cena before hitting a running knee and a pin for 1…2…NO! Miz puts some pressure on Cena against the ropes. Cena with a whip into a back body drop onto Miz. Cena sends Miz to the corner, hits the ropes and we get a big clothesline from Cena. Cean is looking to Suplex, but Miz flips over and hits a hard DDT and a pin for 1…2…NO!! Miz is up, he’s calling for something. He runs with a hard clothesline to Cena in the corner, complete with a scowl and sit on the ropes. Miz goes up top. He flies off for the axehandle, but Cena ducks. A couple of shoulder tackles and a protobomb. You can’t see him. Attitude Adjustment! Instead of the pin, he locks in the STF. Miz taps
Winner: John Cena (**)
You’ve seen one, you’ve seen em all.
Good lord, am I being negative! I promise, it’s not on purpose. They show The Rock in the backstage area, watching the match. He stops hopping for long enough to look at the screen and do the You Can’t See Me taunt then pulls down an imaginary curtain and we get some Windows Live screen swipe downward.
Match 4: R-Truth and Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger vs. Primo and Epico
We are starting with Dolph, Primo and Kofi. Dolph rolls out of the ring. Primo and Kofi lock up, Primo knocks Kofi down then do some rope work ending in a back elbow from Kofi. Dolph rolls back in and Kofi sends him sky high, with Dolph ending up face first onto the mat. Truth with a monkey flip to Primo then to Dolph as well as a pin to Truth. Truth is in and sends Primo to the ropes. Dolph hits a shoulder block then sends Primo to the outside as well as Dolph. Truth is alone in the ring and Swagger comes in to knock Truth out of the ring. Kofi is in the ring and sends Swagger and himself over the ropes. The ring is empty as we go to break.
Back to the show and Truth rolls Primo into a pin which is broken up by Jack Swagger. Swagger gets Truth in the corner of Dolph and hits some rights then Dolph chokes him up a bit while the ref is distracted. Primo goes to pin Truth but Swagger breaks it up. They fight off a bit then Swagger tags in Dolph. Primo with some rights on Truth then Ziggler hits a nice dropkick onto Truth and Primo goes to pin quickly. Dolph turns and notices so breaks it up. Primo lifts truth but here he comes, fighting out of the doubleteam. It’s short lived as Primo hits the knee then goes for a suplex. Ziggler runs forward and, wow, Truth hits the Pay Dirt AND a DDT onto Primo and Ziggler. Nicely done, Truth. Tag to Epico and Swagger. They each grab a leg and notice each other so start fighting, allowing Truth to tag in Kofi. Kofi comes in with rights a plenty then hits a few dropkicks. Swagger is up and sends Kofi to the corner, but Kofi moves and hits a kick. Cross body and a pin to Swagger. 1…2..Epico denies it! Kofi with a bodyslam onto Swagger, then hits a boom drop onto both me. Kofi is calling for Trouble in Paradise, but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag! Truth in the ring to take out Dolph. Swagger goes for a pin. 1…2..NO!!! Epico is here, he goes for the backstabber, but Swagger turns it into an ankle lock! Kofi comes from nowhere with Trouble in Paradise! Oh, but here’s Primo to send Kofi out! Epico with a backstabber! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Winners: Primo and Epico (***)
That was a fun match and a good choice for winner. A lot of action.Such a shame that what happens after came out to kill credibility.
Kane’s music hits out of nowhere. He comes down, boots Primo down, gets in the ring and double chokeslams Dolph and Epico. R-Truth in the ring and tries to fight off Kane, but Kane just chokeslams him.
In the back, Otunga and Johnny Ace are talking about the Oscars. They are interrupted by Teddy and Johnny Ace shows actual emotion as he gets pissed off that Teddy is here. Teddy says he doesn’t want to be here, but he’s heard a rumor that Johnny Ace won’t be running RAW next week. Ace says he heard a rumor as well, that Teddy is fired as a GM. Teddy says he knows something that isn’t a rumor…that Ace is a horses ass.
There is a video package of Eve’s little heel turn and Cena’s bashing of her afterwards. Once done, Eve is introduced and we get to see Eve, the performing artist.
She shakes her head with a face of misunderstanding and frustration. Hoeski chant ensues. She tells us all that we are free to judge her. She is a woman living in a man’s world. She tells men what they need to hear and they love it. She may use them, but there’s not a man in this world that wouldn’t love to be used by a woman like her…she may be on to something. She says it’s not her fault that men are dumb asses. You think she asked for it? They [men] crumble at my feet like little puppies begging for my affection. We shouldn’t blame her for her natural strengths, but rather ourselves for our weaknesses. She then blows us a lil peck.
This promos is brought to you by:
In the back, Eve is struttin her stuff and here’s Kelly Kelly, also known as the pot while Eve plays the kettle. She tells Eve that she’s a totally different person now. Eve laughs her off, then walks away. Here’s Alicia Fox who is just as angry.
Further in the back, Sheamus and Big Show are speaking, but we can’t hear them.
Cody Rhodes wants to make a quick announcement. He brings up Floyd Mayweather and the embarrassing moment that Floyd handed Big Show. We get another “Cody Rhodes Presents” and see where Floyd broke Show’s nose. It’s replayed a few times to get the point across then we see the actual match with added sound effects for punches. haha.
Match 5: The Big Show and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry
Rhodes and Show to start, but Cody tags Henry in right away. Show gets some hard rights on Henry before he even gets in the ring. Show = angry. Show hits the ropes and we get a spear. Show rolls out of the ring, follows Cody into the ring, then Cody flees out again. Show yells from in the ring at Cody. Sheamus is watching, looks to tag Show if necessary, and does! He hits the ropes, BROGUE KICK to Henry! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: The Big Show and Cody Rhodes (*1/2)
Too short to mean anything, but I liked the detail of Sheamus paying close attention to what was happening in the ring while Show was too busy with Cody.
We are told that tomorrow morning, the Board of Directors will have an announcement to make regarding the WWE at 10:00 AM EST.
Recap of RAW where Cena tore into The Rock.
HBK returns, next week! Also, I just check Twitter and The Miz posted a vid where he tells us all to shut our face and he will be at Mania whether you like it or not.
The Rock is here! He soaks in the chants a bit then wants us to tone it down…that doesn’t happen. He shows his goosebumps to the camera. Thank God for HD, right? He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels so damned good. A “You Do Acid” chant starts. (or “Boots to Asses”) The Rock says that we’ll get into some chants all night long (read, also 10 more minutes). He says that this may be a shock to a lot of people, but he’s not here every single week. He was here every single week for years. That was his job and he loved it. The Rock was born and created here in the WWE. He also knows that if it weren’t for the WWE or the fans, The Rock would never exist. When he came back and said he was back and he was never going away, he meant it. The Rock has notes on his arm…age doin a number, ey Rocky? Did that mean he’d be back on a weekly basis? No, that’s not what was meant or what was expected, but if someone in the back wants to take that literally, then you go right ahead, and you know who he’s talking to. He respects the audiences’ —The Rock is cut off by a Fruity Pebbles chant. The audience knows that Rock’s heart and soul is in this business. He is standing in t he middle of this ring, right now, for no other reason than the love he has for the WWE. He will always be a part of the WWE. And the WWE will always be a part of him.
John Cena. For years, The Rock used to think he was a phony. He thought that there was no way that the guy who graduated from a private school became the Dr. of Thuganomics. Then The Rock realized, he’s not a phony, he is that guy. The guy that ran The Rock last week. The guy that had all that passion and that anger. That he couldn’t talk to The Rock directly. The truth is, he has The Rock’s cell phone number and has used it before. The thing is, he doesn’t want to talk to him anywhere. He would much rather slap his face with a piece of kung-pao chicken.
Rock says he’s not a phony, he doesn’t even think he’s a bad person, but what Cena is is a kung-pao bitch. Last week, Cena said something that resonated with The Rock. He said that come April 1st, Cena was going to fight for all the people in the back who loved to be a professional wrestler. Rock wants to tell Cena something, he grew up in this business and he was always taught that there was NO ONE who was ever going to fight for him. That the only person who faught for you was you. Do you think that when he would come out as a good guy, as a babyface and they would boo unmercifully, do you think Stone Cold Steve Austin was fighting for me? Do you think they fought for Foley, HHH, Savage? Do you think that anyone fought for Roddy Piper? No, hell no. No one had to fight for us because we are men. John, you want to fight for them in the back, I prefer it. Because while you fight for THEM, he fights….for the people. The same people that are so sick and tired of having a kung pao bitch shoved down their throat every single night. What they’re not tired of is being entertained. That’s where The Rock comes in, it’s what he does. He loves to entertain. In the middle of this ring, movie screen, it doesn’t matter. Every time we get together, The Rock and the people, they trailblaze, they innovate, they break new ground. When The Rock came back and said John Cena, you look like a big fat bowl of fruity pebbles. All of a sudden, we find your monkey ass on the cover of a cereal box. When The Rock brought up his lady parts, they started chanting it and it became trending. “You’re Welcome, bitch!”
Cena is back there now and what he needs to learn is that they have fun, they entertain. What’s the most innovate thing he’s done? He changed his jean shorts to camoflauge shorts. He says that the cammies are working because we can’t find your balls whatsoever. By the way, he wants CenaMissingBalls to be trending worldwide.
Heeeeeeereeee’s Johnny! Cena’s music hits and he comes out with a grin. Cena says this is too much fun and there’s no way he’d miss this. The Rock actually referred to him as Kung Pao chicken. Only the Rock could refer to him as that. It’s genius, because every single chinese restaurant, it’s always there. And this is Perfect Rock. Cena didn’t come out here to swing for the people’s strudel or whatever he calls his dick these days (nice). Cena says that The Rock was right, he is the guy that runs him down when he’s not here, but he’s also the guy that runs him down when he is here. These people are right, they love The Rock. Dwayne, however, is a self-centered egotistical see-thru son of a bitch that wouldn’t give a rats ass if the WWE closed it’s doors tomorrow. Cena says he doesn’t need words to trend worldwide just like he doesn’t need promo notes on his wrist (DAAAAAMMMNNN!!!!) Cena says he doesn’t like Dwane Jackson. Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson and see fear because he may not see a dude that has balls, but will see a man that is going to beat the hell out of him come Mania. He leaves the ring then tells The Rock to carry on and continue trending….did…Cena just do that?
The Rock says that it’s like Cena to come out, run his mouth and then walk away before he slaps his lips off his face. You come out here, confuse the world, John The Rock = Dwayne Johnson. It’s the same man in the ring as he is out there. The difference between him and Cena is that The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, the People’s Champ, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going to kick his candy ass all over Wrestlemania!! If you Smellllllll what The Rock…is…Cookin!!!
OOOO-Weee, Rocky is pissed and Cena totally did more in 2 minutes than The Rock did with the 20 + minutes he was given….
Credit: Tony Acero