WWE RAW Results (5/7) – Paul Heyman Returns!

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Event: WWE Monday Night RAW

Airdate: Monday, May 7th, 2012 (USA Network)

Location: The Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina

Results by Tony Acero

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

We start with a recap of what happened at the close of RAW when Johnny Ace announced himself as the opponent of John Cena at “The Over Limit” before heading straight to the live portion and introducing the General Manager of RAW and Smackdown, John Lauranaitis. He calls himself the undisputed leader and authority figure of the WWE, and will not allow anyone to challenge his authority or challenge his leadership skills. Last week, Cena publicly embarrassed and insulted him by calling him an idiot and a corporate jackass. Last week, he lost his temper, and when he does so, he goes into a fit if destruction that no one can withstand. He injured Cena’s pride, and he will continue what Brock Cena Lesnar stopped. He will not apologize to Cena because this is only the beginning. For anyone that thought he’d be reprimanded by the board, he wasn’t, because the board understands that he is tough but fair. He asked that Cena not be here tonight and wants him instead to have therapy for his elbow so that come the PPV, there will be no excuses. He will be live via satellite with Cole, though, and he will apologize for making fun of his voice. He is also putting every superstar in the back on check right now that anyone who makes fun of his voice will suffer severe consequences. He claims that Dr. Death Steve Williams injured him, causing this voice. He wants to take a look at his time in Japan, then we get a slideshow of him doing work, calling it “some of the best form in wrestling.” He claims to have eyes of a champion, not a loser. He calls himself the Hogan off Japan; Stone Cold and The Rock all rolled into one. He told WWE no back then, but for one night, you will see John Cena vs Big Johnny. God Bless People Power and may God have Mercy on John Cena.

Here’s Punky! Punk claims Ace still has no clue what these people want. He’s here to help, though. He’s not going to make it easy, though. He’s not just going to tell you what they want to hear, he’s going to start with telling him what they DON’T want to see, and what they don’t want to see is Johnny Ace. This is the truth; all this is about is Ace putting the chips on Brock Lesnar and Cena beating him. Ace gets embarrassed. Lesnar did the damage and Ace is here to just pick the bones. Is he forgetting anything? Oh yeah, the reason he had to go compete in Japan is because not a damned person wanted to see him wrestle. He was a joke then, and he came back and is still a joke. Ace tells Punk to be careful. He says he will, and another thing he’ll do is watch the Pay Per View, the same PPV where he will beat Daniel Bryan. Ace wants to know if he’s done. Punk mockingly repeats the question. He asks the people, and they say no. He calls Ace stupid, ugly, and he has no friend. Is he done? Nope. He’s also a gigantic toolbox. Now he’s done. Ace says if he wasn’t training for his match with Cena, he’d pummel Punk down to the ground. But he is, so Punk will face someone who knows the word respect. He will face Lord Tensai. Punk had a feeling he was going to do that, considering his affinity to extremely talented big men. He looks forward to it. King calls this one hell of a pipe bomb drop; I don’t see it…

Ace is walking in the back, then calls Big Show stupid. He walks away, and here’s Big Show making fun of his voice. Eve is right behind him and hears. Uh oh….

Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match

Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show starts off with a hard right then a chop in the corner. He tosses Cody across the ring then lifts him up and hits another chop. Body slam from Show, then a kick to the back of Cody Rhodes .Show with a gut shot then another toss to the corner. Cody with a dropkick, goes for the Beautiful Disaster and hits it, but Show just flips him over after an Enziguri attempt. Cody wants his belt, and he’s about to walk it out. Show goes outside and rolls Cody in. Cody rolls out of the ring again, up the ramp. The ref counts Cody out at 10.

Winner: Big Show via Countout (NR)

Hardly a match.

Show grabs a mic and tells Cody not to take the coward’s way out. Cody turns his back and walks away. Show says if he’s got to go back there and find him, it’s going to be worse. Eve’s music hits, and she comes down the ramp. Hoeski chant for the lady. Eve tells Show to apologize. Show wants to know what for. Eve says, for making fun of Ace’s voice. Show says he was playing, but Eve cuts him off and requires an apology for herself, for all the people and for Johnny. Show says fine, he’s sorry. Eve didn’t ask him to say “I’m Sorry,” she asked him to apologize. She claims that outside of this business, there is no need for a 7 foot tall, 44o lbs 40 year old freak…Now, apologize for making fun of John Laurinaitis’s voice. Show contemplates, then apologizes for making fun of Johnny’s voice. Happy? Show walks out of the ring as Eve smiles in the middle of the ring with a smirk.

Match 2: Kofi Kingston (w/ R-Truth and Lil Jimmy) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Jack Swagger)

Kofi with a go behind into an arm bar. He twists it but Dolph hits a right and works the arm of Kofi. In the back, Primo, Epico, Rosa and Abraham Washington are watching the match. Kofi flies into the corner and misses a kick. Dolph rolls him up for 1…2..NO! Dolph with a dropkcik then a pin for 1…2..NO! Dolph with a resthold into a front face lock.

In the back, Mason Ryan walks by and stops to watch Washington, Epico, Primo and Rosa watching the match on tv.

Back in the ring, Kofi hits a high dropkick then a clothesline. He’s calling for the boom drop, hits it! Trouble in Paradise? Here’s Swagger with the distraction. Dolph goes for the Zig Zag, but Kofi turns it into the S.O.S. and a pin for 1…2..>NO! Kofi is looking to fly, but Vickie distracts. Truth gets on the apron, too. The ref’s back is turned and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and the pin for 1…2…3!!

Winner: Dolph Ziggler (*1/2)

Pretty short, and the flow was slightly altered with the backstage antics. Although, I like that there may very well be a build here…

Michael Cole is in the middle of the ring and welcomes John Cena to the show, LIVE via Satellite. He wants to say Thank you for all the concerns from all the fan. Cole wants to first ask for an update about his arm. Cena says that there’s no permanent damage, but he does have to get his elbow drained twice a day. A group of doctor’s have told him not to compete for the next few months. He recommended, however, that they have no idea who they are dealing with. There is nothing keeping him outside of the ring. Cole wants to know if Cena is surprised that there was no disciplinary action against Ace by the board. Cena said that they contacted him, and he told them not to fire him until after Over the Limit. Cole claims that he’s been doing some research and has been very impressed with Ace’s past and what he’s accomplished in his career. So impressed that Cena may very well be scared…Cena is frightened…that Ace is going to hurt himself. Cena will take full advantage of his position, one that every WWE Superstar wishes he had. In 13 days, he will kick John Laurinaitis’s ass.

In the back, Layla and Kelly Kelly are all smiles. We’re getting tag team action, next.

Beth Pheonix is on commentary and doesn’t want to talk about her ankle, so don’t ask. We get a little promo of Layla talking right after her win, and she says that she missed me. We also learn that at Over the Limit, Beth gets her rematch

Match 3: Layla and Kelly Kelly vs. Maxine and Natalya

We’re starting with Layla and Maxine. Layla hits a clothesline, another, swinging back kick and a pin for 1…2…NO! Natalya gets in the ring. Kelly runs around the ring and pulls the legs out from Natalya who is back on the apron. Maxine with a snapmare and hits the ropes, Layla rolls through and pins for 1…2…NO! Layla with the neckbreaker and a pin for 1….2…3.

Winner: Layla and Kelly Kelly (NR)

Are we going to get a match over five minutes at all today?

Match 4: Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus and Randy Orton

Del Rio and Orton to start. Lockup and Orton gets a side headlock. Orton hits the ropes and hits a shoulderblock then gets kicked by Del Rio. Del Rio with a whip, reversed by Orton. Del Rio tries for an hip toss, but Orton reverses with a clothesline and a pin for 1…2..NO! Del Rio gets a pin to Jericho, and Jericho fires away with some rights until the reg breaks it. Orton hits some kicks out of the corner then gets whipped into the opposite corner, and comes back with a clothesline. Orton scrapes the face with his shin. Orton works the arm then tags in Sheamus, who comes in with some hard blows to the back of Jericho, dropping him to the mat. He lays in on him with some knees then tosses him to the ropes and hits a back elbow. Jericho is able to get the upperhand in the corner with a chop but it’s shortlived as Sheamus sends him to the corner. Jericho tries for a hurricanrana but Sheamus just kicks him in the chest then tosses him on the apron and lays in on his chest. He pulls him back in and hits a clothesline, but Jericho ducks and Sheamus hits Del RIo instead. Jericho sends Sheamus to the corner once, then again, sending Sheamus’s shoulder to the corner post. Sheamus tumbles to the outside and Del Rio attacks the shoulder as we go to break.

We are BACK, and Jericho is really working the shoulder of Sheamus. Sheamus stands and Jeriucho hits a knee and locks in a hammer lock. Sheamus backs him up in the corner and hits some back elbows then a clothesline. Tag to Orton, tag to Del Rio. Orton with a clothesline, then a powerslam! He sends Del Rio to the outside and hits the rope-assisted DDT. Orton is calling for the RKO. Jericho sneaks in and Orton hits a powerslam. Rodriguez distracts and Del Rio hits an enziguri and a pin for 1…2…NO! Del RIo with some rights to Orton. Tag to Jericho and Jericho hits some stomps. He distracts the ref, and Del Rio hangs his arm up on the rope. Orton with a right to Jericho, one to Del Rio, sending him to the ground. Dropkick from Orton to Jericho! Jericho fires back with a dropkick of his own and a pin for 1…2…NO! Jericho mocks Sheamus before going back to Orton. Back suplex from Jericho, calls himself the Best in the World, and drops a fist to the forehead of Orton. Cravat from behind, locking the right arm with his leg. Orton fights out, turns into the submission,, hits a couple of rights, but Jericho hits a knee and tries to suplex, only for Orton to roll him up for 1…2..NO! Jericho is up with an Enziguri! He talks some mess to Sheamus then grabs Orton and pulls him towards his corner. Tag to Del Rio who pins for a 2 count then wristlocks the left arm before dropping it on his knees! He’s looking for the arm breaker! He screams Destiny, goes for the arm bar, but Orton reverses and hits the backbreaker.

Del Rio is crawling towards Jericho, Orton tags in Sheamus. Tag to Jericho. Sheamus with a couple of axe handles, then he hits a high knee in the corner. Sheamus calls for the Celtic Cross. He sets Jericho up, but Jericho drops down and tries for the Walls. Sheamus twists and gets out. Irish Curse backbreaker and a pin for 1…2…NO! Del Rio is in to break it up. Orton is in, RKO to Del Rio! Sheamus goes for the Borgue Kick, but Jericho ducks and Sheamus hits Orton! Sheamus turns right into the Codebreaker and a pin for 1…2…NO!

Winners: Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho (***)

Nice finishing sequence, and a nice match all around. The commercial broke the stride a bit, but it was a good finish that seems to be leading to something.

After the match, Jericho grabs the World Heavyweight Champion and screams that this is his. Interesting…

Sheamus looks concerned and helps Orton up. Orton looks to try and get up himself, then hits an RKO from out of nowhere. Good ol Orton…

Ace in the back, and he thinks Show’s apology was insincere. Jericho is here telling Johnny that he pinned Sheamus and deserves a title shot. Here’s Del Rio who wants a title shot of his own. Finally, Orton comes in wanting the same. Orton atacks Del Rio then out of nowhere, Sheamus comes flying in and attacks Jericho. Sheamus and Orton send Del Rio and Jericho running then start jib jabbin with each other. Sheamus tells Orton “anytime ya want, fella!” Ace makes the inevitable match; a Fatal Four Way for the World Heavyweight Title at Over the Limit.

Before the next match, Brodus Clay has a PSA that tells us to call our momma for Mother’s Day. Here’s The Miz. Instead of competing for the WWE Championship, he has a match with Brodus? Really?! He’s the most must see WWE Superstar and he has a match with Brodus Clay? If he wanted to see King Hippo dance, he’d play Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. But he wants Brodus to listen good, after this match Miz wants Brodus to call his momma and let her know that he had the experience of a lifetime fighting the Miz. He wants Brodus to tell his Momma that he’s The Miz…and he’s Awesome!!

Match 5: Brodus Clay vs.

Lockup and a go behind as Miz hammers away on Brodus’ head. Of course, that goes nowhere as Brodus hits a headbutt, sending Miz outside. The ladies laugh at The Miz and he looks to attack, sending Brodus to the outside for some “Nah man, that ain’t happenin” swag. Miz runs around the ring and to the inside. Brodus follows and Miz gets a kick, some more then hits the ropes and gets a hard kick to the head of Brodus. Pin for 1…2..NO! Brodus in the corner, Miz flies with a clothesline. He goes up top axe handle and a pin for 1. Miz from behind with a cravat. Brodus is able to get out but Miz hits a DDT and a pin for 1…2..NO! Miz mounts the back of Brodus and drops down on the spine a couple of times. Brodus with a right to Miz’s gut. A club to the back. He sends Miz to th apron. Miz ducks and dropkicks the knees. Miz hits the ropes and hits a knee, then locks in a chinlock. Brodus stands and hits a sideslam! Miz runs and Brodus hits a hard headbutt! Miz is in the corner, Brodus runs for a splash, but Miz hits a boot to the face! He goes up top and jumps, but Brodus catches and hits the T-Bone. Brodus with the Splash and a pin for 1…2…3!!!!

Winner: Brodus Clay (**)

The best match Brodus has been in, probably ever, and that’s not saying that it was good. Simply better than any squash. Let’s hope this wasn’t a one off thing.

We get a recap of Brock Smash once we come back, including the breaking of Triple H’s arm. Cole and King show some photos of Triple H still doing his job, at a meeting with some board members and in an arm brace. They inform us that HHH will be with us live next week, as well as extended an invitation to Brock Lesnar to come, but instead…Brock sent a legal rep. I hope to God it’s Paul Heyman…..

Brock’s music hits and we get a long wait to see who it is….

It’s PAUL FREAKIN HEYMAN!!!!

Paul introduces himself and he’s all scowled. He is here, tonight, as the representative for Brock Lesnar! The single, most dominant athelete in the history of the WWE, but a man that has booed and maligned and mistreated and underappreciated by the WWE audience since day 1. He says that today’s WWE is so much different than it was 10 years ago. It’s so image conscious. But despite that fact, it was the Exec VP of Talent Relations who signed Brock to a legit contract. Admittedly, Brock made a few reasonable and verbal demands, which were agreed to on live television – which makes every single audience member a party of that event. Brock feels betrayed by the WWE Universe and Brock should not have to feel that way, because Brock is the only man to hold the NCAA championship, the Undisputed WWE Championship AND the UFC Championship…and yet, above all else, Brock is an honest man. He said he was going to hurt people, and he did. But instead of him running down Brock’s accolades, he’s got one better for us. Tonight, Brock asked Paul personally to read Brock’s personal statement.

“I came back to bring legitamcy to WWE, that’s exactly what I did. And how was I rewarded? With the same corporate BS and politics that lead me to leave 8 years ago. I don’t regret what I did to John Cena; I embarrassed him. Another guy I embarrased was HHH. He’s always been jealous of me. HHH lasted one hour in a cell with The Undertaker but couldn’t last one minute in the ring with me. I had an agreement with the company and he broke it, so I broke his arm.”

He claims that he is never coming back, and quits! Paul drops the mic and leaves the ring.

Backstage, Michael Ealy and Warren Cole from Common Law are talking to Show about how weak he looks apologizing to Eve. Show says that now is not a good place. They claim to be tough and sexy detectives, so they can figure this all out. They both make fun of his voice as Show laughs about it. Here’s Eve with her angry face.

Before the next match can start, Johnny Ace comes out and says that tonight, instead of a one-on-one, Punk will have a handicap match against Tensai and Bryan.

Match 6: CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai and Daniel Bryan

Punk and Tensai to start, with Bryan on the outside. Punk ducks a clothesline and chops but Tensai goozles him. Punk kicks out of it only for Tensai to thrust at the throat. Body slam from Tensai, followed by an elbow. Tag to Bryan and in he comes with some hard kicks to Punk’s chest. Cover for 1. Bryan with a suplex, but Punk floats out and rolls up Bryan for 2. Punk with a right hand, then a chop, another hand. Whip to the ropes, Punk ducks a clothesline and we get a double cross body. Tag to Tensai. He gets a double underhook then hits some knees and falls back. Knee to the spine and a chin lock for a short second, then he tosses Punk to the outside. Tensai is on the outside and slams Punk’s back to the pole! He sends Punk back inside then clenches the shoulder, pinching nervves. Tensai with a hit then sends Punk down and hits another bodyslam. He hits the opres and drops deadweight onto Punk. Tag to Bryan. He goes for a flying headbutt, but Punk moves! Bryan reaches for a tag, but Punk holds onto the leg. Punk grabs both legs and kicks the back. Slingshot to the corner and Bryan hits the top turnbuckle. Rolling neckbreaker by Punk. Punk sees Bryan in the corner, waits for him to stand, and hits the running knee! Bulldog! He calls for the G2S! He sets up for it, but Bryan gets out and Tensai gets the blind tag. Punk doesn’t see it until Tensai clotheslines him down! Punk tries for the G2S on Tensai but can’t lift him full! Tensai tosses Punk to the corner and goes for a splash but Punk moves, then hits a high kick to the jaw of Tensai! He goes up top! Bryan grabs the leg, but Punk kicks him off. Tensai grabs him and we get a doublehanded chokeslam. Tensai backs in the corner. Tensai with the mist! Iron Claw to Punk! Pin to the mat. 1…2…3!!

Winner: Lord Tensai and Daniel Bryan (**1/2)

Lord Tensai may have grown exponentially in Japan, but he’s pretty one note in the WWE.

After the match, Tensai leaves, but Bryan stays inside to pick apart the pieces. He attacks Punk then locks in the Yes! Lock, yelling that Punk is not better than him! The ref eventually breaks the hold only for Bryan to jump back into it and scream out Yes!

End Show.

Credit: Tony Acero

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