Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, July 16th, 2012 (USA Network)
Location: The Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas, NV
Results by Tony Acero
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
We are LIVE in….where the hell are we? Oh shit, we in Vegas. CM Punk is here! The WWE Champion makes his way out, much to the pleasure of the crowd! Cole and King talk about AJ’s presence in the ring last night. He says this might sound somewhat strange, considering he’s straight edge, but he loves Las Vegas. he’s got a lot of great memories. It was a year ago he sat upon that stage and dropped a pipe bomb. He spoke his mind. He said he was the best and he has proven that he is the best in the world. He has beaten everyone. He then moves to AJ. This all began a year ago, right here in Vegas. Next week, RAW celebrates 1000 episodes, and he automatically thinks of the first episode of RAW, because back then a man like him wouldn’t even be on this show in the midst of his eighth month as WWE Champion. He plans on standing in this ring, as the WWE champion. Homeboy gets interrupted by The Big Show, though.
Boos shower the Big Show. He says that Punk’s story was really touching. The conquering hero. Whatever, Show says. He was inches away from grabbing the briefcase. Show claims he has a point he is trying to make here, geez. That briefcase was in his grasp, and as usual, John Cena was in the right place at the right time when the handle broke on the briefcase. if he had that briefcase, he’d cash it in right now. He tells Punk he wouldn’t be walking out of here at all. Punk says yes, that’s what Show does. He talks about almost winning the Money in the Bank contract. He tells Show that he did what he always does…beats the crap out of everyone, leave destruction in his wake…then loses. Punk says Show is probably right, he should be Mr. MITB but he lost. Punk says he has the respect of all these people, and the WWE. Show claims that the crowd doesn’t respect him, they don’t even respect themselves. Seriously, think about it. if Punk left the WWE tomorrow, he gives these people about a week before they move on to the next new thing. Show calls Punk just another cog in the machine. Punk says he is the WWE Champion, and Show is not. What he is is a bitter, underacheiving shell of a man who just happens to be a giant. Show calls that Punk’s opinion, but as it relates to Punk’s championship, Cena is Mr. Money in the Bank. After Punk loses to Show tonight, it’s a possibility he could lose the Championship to John Cena…he then drops the mic like a pipe bomb as we go to break.
Match 1: WWE Tag Team Championship Match
R-Truth and Kofi Kingston vs. Primetime Players
AW is calling Young and Titus the greatest of all time. Titus barks. Kofi and Titus to start. Lock up and Titus backs him in the corner with ease. A shot to the gut and a back elbow to the face is followed by another, then an uppercut. tag to Young and we get Young kickign him in the corner, then smashing his head into the turnbuckle. The ref breaks it up, Young yells, and Kfoi takes the opprotunity to kick him then tag in Truth. double arm drag. Truth, the legal man, pop locks and leg drops it. He lifts Young up and tags in Kofi. cross body from Kofi. Titus rolls in and Kofi dropkicks him. Both guys are down, so Kofi and Truth baseball slide them to the outside, then Kofi hops over and suicide dives atop both of them as we go to break.
Winners: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (**)
It’s obvious who carried this match, but the PTPs are growing.
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio is NOT happy. He starts with a high knee to Ryder, sends him into the corner, and kicks the mid section for a bit. He runs right into a back elbow from Ryder, then a kick to the face. Some right hands, but Dl Rio is able to grab the arm of Ryder and mess it up by dropping it on his knees. Del RIo sends Ryder to the outside, then grabs the left arm and smashes it against the steps. He sends Ryder to the barricade, bck first, then tries to suplex him, but Ryder sends him to the apron and rolls in the ring. Del RIo comes in the ring and sends Ryder shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Cross Arm Breaker from Del Rio, and Ryder taps out.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (**1/2)
After the match, he locks the armbreaker in once again, when from nowhere…. Rey Mysterio’s music hits, and he is here! BOOYAKA, cabron!!! He rolls down the ramp and into the ring, only for Del Rio to stomp him down over and over. He stops for a second, grabs his head, and Mysterio makes the comeback face, ducking a clothesline and hitting a hurricanrana toss into the second rope. 619! Del Rio heads out of the ring and up the ramp, as the crowd welcomes Rey Mysterio bak to the show.
A video package of Heath Slater and all of his legend interactions are brought up.
Match 3: Heath Slater vs. Rikishi
heath with the go behind and a slap and laughs it off a bit only to turn into a superkick from Rikishi and….STINK FACE!!! Kish has the thumb up and thrusts it to the throat. Rikisi is on the second rope, and Kishi with the splash. 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Rikishi (NR)
Rikishi breaks it down a bit in the middle of the ring. I wonder if…nope, I thought it was something else, but instead we get Jimmy and Jey Uso to dance alongside their father. This moment probably doesn’t mean much to some, but it’s actually pretty cool to watch.
Eve has the mic, and she’s here to introduce her partner. He’s awesome, by the way.
Match 4: Daniel Bryan and AJ vs. The Miz and Eve
Miz’s new hairstyle doesn’t match his scowl. AJ gets to come out last. haha. Awesome. Bryan and Miz to start. Lockup into a side headlock from Bryan. Miz sends him into the corner. Miz swings and misses, so Bran starts in with the kicks. Bryan gets sent to the ropes, and Miz hits a high knee. Miz attacks with a kick and Bryan rolls to the corner. AJ tags herself. Lockup and Eve overpowers AJ to the corner. She stomps her a bit, then snapmares her down and kicks AJ in the back. Pin for 2. Eve chokes AJ up on the middle rope. Eve is atop the turnbuckle and chokes up Eve, as AJ swings her legs, making it look pretty good. AJ tries to fight back, and does well with a kick and a spinning heel kick. AJ with the pin but Miz is distracting the ref. AJ with a dropkick to Miz! haha. She smiles viciously at Miz, and he smiles back, then runs in and tries to attack. The ref stops him. Eve with the roll up. Daniel Bryan runs in and shifts the momentum, and AJ gets the pin for the 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Daniel Bryan and AJ (**)
Seemed a bit rushed, but this was apparently for storyline purposes.
After the match, AJ watches the replay and sees what happened. Bryan has the mic. Bryan tells AJ that there’s something that she used to say to him, something that he was always too scared or stupid to say back, but now he realizes what he needs to say. “AJ, I love you.” AJ looks at him like he’s a lost puppy, then seems confused. She is taken aback, grabs her head and bryan reaches for something from the stagehand. Oh joy…Bryan claims that last week, he asked her a question because he wanted to become the WWE Champion. But, this week…he doesn’t want anything except this. He proposes, then reaches for her hand…and slips on the ring. AJ looks to be in tears. He puts the mic up to her face….her frown turns into a smile and she…she says YES! Ah, gawd! Daniel Bryan and AJ make out and if this wasn’t my last night, I’d quit!!! They share a YES! Chant in unison.
We are back to episode #999, and the Bellagio is lookin mighty pretty. Aww, how glorious, DX is going to start the show next week, AND the ceremony for AJ and Bryan’s wedding will be live…wow.
Match 5: Jack Swagger vs. Ryback
Swagger big boots Ryback before he completely enters in the ring, then gutwrench powerbombs Ryback! Nice! Swagger with the Swagger Bomb. Cole says that the ref hasn’t called for the bell yet, so this may not be a match quite yet. Swagger goes for the ankle lock. Ryback reverses it but Swagger with a hard body push. He goes for the abnkle again, but Ryback kicks him away. Ryback is up. Hard clothesline. He lifts up Swagger, then hits a hard spinebuster only to set him up for a hard powerbomb. Another! Another! One More!!! Ryback kicks Swagger out of the ring, and the crowd loves it.
Winner: None. Not an Official Match
Not sure what to think about that. A little dude inside of me (ew) got excited to see Swagger get that kind of offense, but at the end of the day, this means nothing for Ryback and everything for Swagger.
We get a Tout video of John Cena saying he has a huge announcement.
Vickie is here, and it is our honor and pleasure for her to introduce the dude with the blue briefcase….Dolph Ziggler!!!! Dolph is all blazer’d up. He says that we are looking at the next World Heavyweight Champion. It’s only a matter of time before he cashes it in on Sheamus. Once he does, he’ll be better than Bret, better than Stone Cold, better than The Rock. He is the Show Off. Vickie repeats every last word he says. Dolph says he is better than—-oh dear, Chris Jericho isn’t too fond of Dolph’s verbiage.
Jericho has nice hair. Before he can talk, Dolph says no, not tonight. For once, it’s not about Jericho. He’s not going to come in and steal Dolph’s moment. He won his Money in the Bank match, jericho didn’t win his. In fact, he’s never won Money in the Bank. Come to think of it, when’s the last time Jericho won anything. Jericho’s grin disappears, and he goes serious eyes. Dolph says that all he has heard since Jericho has come back is how great he is, how he is the best in the world at what he does. Apparently, what Jericho does is lose. No one, and he means no one, has been given more opportunities and chances than Jericho, says Dolph. Jericho’s been coasting for so long that he’s got everyone fooled. Jericho is all hype. When’s the last time, he actually won an important match, Dolph asks. Dolph wants to know if it’s possible that Jericho is losing his touch, that he can no longer win the big one. The great Chris Jericho…is he losing his touch? Dolph thinks he is. He shares the sentiment with Vickie. Jericho shuts him up with a Codebreaker, then leaves the ring. Interesting.
Can’t wait to see Triple H and HBK have the “Fun, DX moment” then move to the super serious “I want to FIGHT Brock” moment. It’s like Cena, only with more hair.
Match 6: Brodus Clay vs. Someone Who Will Lose
Headbutt to start, then a gut check. High knee from Brodus, followed by a T-Bone Suplex. Brodus drops an elbow then tosses JTG into the corner. JTG fires out with a boot, then hits the ropes and tries to clip the knee but misses. He goes for it again from behind then attacks the back. JTG with a kick then he mocks Brodus with the claws. He gets front face lock then hits a dropkick and ducks a clothesline. he goes for a splash, but Brodus just catches him. Another t-bone sends JTg flyin. JTG tries to come back, but Brodus headbutts him again, then hits a hard splash into a pin for 1…2…3!!
Winner: Brodus Clay (*)
Another RAW, another Brodus squash. Welcome back, JTG
Match 7: CM Punk vs. The Big Show
Show tries to grab Punk, but he ducks away and tries fo a right hand. He feins a few jabs from Show, but Show hits a headbutt. Show lifts Punk and chops him in the corner. Punk with some rights to the gut, but Show drops him with an uppercut. He asks the crowd to smile for him, then steps on the back of CM Punk. Punk is on the apron, so Punk heads out and pulls him across the apron. He chops the chest, sending Punk to the outside. Show lifts him and even though Punk tries to fight back, but Show headbutts him again, then lifts him up for a body slam. Punk floats over and sends Show into the steel post! Punk rolls in the ring, and Show does as well. Punk with some kicks to the chest, another. One more. Show stop it with a headbutt. Damn. Show goads Punk up then chops him down. He chokes him up in the corner. He runs into a big boot from Punk, then Punk hits the second rope and hops off with an axe handle, only for Show to grab him with one arm and slam him down. Show lifts Punk up and hits a hard right to the ribs. Again. Show says no one can beat him…one on one. Punk is fighting back, though. He hits some rights, then locks in a sleeper. Show turns this into a side slam after a while, but he is feeling the effeccts. Show goes up top and tries for a splash, but Punk moves! Punk hits the ropes and tries for some body splashes to knock Show down, but it doesn’t work! He tries again, and Show sends Punk up and over. Show calls for the WMD!! He misses, and Punk hits a high kick to the head!! Another!! One more sends Show to the corner. High knee!! He hits the corner and looks for another one!! He hits it!! Punk ain’t done, he calls for another! Third knee connects!!! Bulldog is deflected by Show! He runs for a splash, but Punk moves and Show is finally down!!! Punk is surprised! he hits the turnbuckle!! Punk flies off with the elbow!! Pin! 1…2…NO!!!
Show is back to his feet! He gets a chokeslam near the ropes! Pin for 1…2..FOOT ON THE ROPES!! Show lifts Punk up by his head and sends him into the corner. Show backs him into the corner and hits some rights to the gut of Punk. The ref tries to stop him, and Show pushes the ref away, causing a DQ.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio (**1/2)
The Big Show continues his rampage on Punk. He pulls him in the middle of the ring and hits a body slam, then calls for the WMD!! The music of John Cena hits and let’s see how noble he’s going to be…
Show opts to leave the ring, and Cena is in the middle of the ring, briefcase in hand. Punk is in the corner, as Cena calls for the mic. Earlier today, he sent out a tout that said he had a huge announcement. His announcement is, oh he’s cut off by Big Show. Show says we all know what it’s going to be. He knows what Cena is going to do. He’s going to announce that he’s cashing it in right now. He brings up the time frame it’s been since Cena has been champion. A ref comes out, and he wants to know if Cena is going to cash in now. Show calls him a fool if he doesn’t cash it in. He says that people don’t respect Cena. Cena looks extremely conflicted, because, you know, this choice is such a difficult one and no one can see what Cena is going to do. NO! says Cena. He tells CM Punk that he gets one week to prepare for the biggest match of his life. At RAW 1000, we will find out who the best in the world really is. At RAW 1000, he is cashing in his Money in the Bank contract for a match for the WWE Championship. Show tells him to cash it in now. So what was Cena’s huge announcement tonight, then. It is….and Cena bashes Show’s head in with the briefcase.
Credit: Tony Acero