Before I begin the review, gonna do another cheap plug and ask you check out a build-up video I made for the show, and to sub to my YouTube channel, TheRichStaple. Hope to get more WWE content on there soon, so stay tuned!
Now, onto the review!
Matt Hardy won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
I had Ziggler winning this, but honestly, there’s no way to tell who wins these Battle Royals year after year. Booking wise, Matt Hardy winning was absolutely the right decision, and I liked the surprise they had with Wyatt returning to come in and help. Battle Royals are usually hard to grade because you have 20-30 or so sweaty wrestlers jumbled up in one ring and the last one standing wins. I did like some of the little interactions and mini-plots that they had in here, with Mojo eliminating Ryder, R-Truth and Goldust’s little deal and two of the final three battle royal entrants were the two previous winners of the match Overall, it was okay and a good little wake up for the crowd. Nothing crazy as per usual. **1/2
Cedric Alexander def. Mustafa Ali – Cruiserweight Championship
You could tell from the moment the bell rang, both Alexander and Ali were excited to be there. It’s like they were trying so hard to contain their excitement and just went out there like little kids in the ice cream shop. Now, unfortunately, this wasn’t the match I was expecting. Don’t get me wrong, the match was very good. Both men got their offense in, there was plenty of back and forth and high spots and the story was good. Nothing was wrong with the match from a mat perspective, but I wasn’t a fan of the pacing. I always hate it when the Cruiserweights wrestle like the main roster. What’s supposed to separate the Cruiserweights from the main roster is their up-tempo, high-flying acrobatics. And I didn’t get to see that here. There was Mustafa Ali carrying things along in that regard, but it still felt like two heavyweights fighting on RAW. Considering how awesome the Cruiserweight tournament has been, and some of the quality matches 205 Live has been delivering as of late, am I wrong to say I felt kind of….wanting? It’s like I just kept waiting for the match to hit that fever pitch where both men would be flipping out everywhere and stuff, and it never came.
Again, the match was fine. And while the crowd was silent for most of it apart from the high spots, the match didn’t suffer from it. But I was also expecting this high-paced spectacle that had the culmination of the tournament that we were all expecting, and instead, what I got was a very good RAW match. Aries and Neville had a better match last year. ***
Naomi wins the “1st ever” Women’s Battle Royal
What a mess this was. I understand that WWE wants to get as many superstars as it can on the card so no one feels left out, but these battle royals serve nothing more than to say, “Hey, we know you don’t have your own WrestleMania match on the card, but at least you’ll be there. It’s the thought that counts, right?” Honestly, this match really just had no flow, and what was even worse was how WWE is trying to push this, “1st ever Woman’s Battle Royal” narrative. It’s like WWE is trying to reach for everything to make it seem like a historic occasion.
Honestly, is this the first time we’ve seen a woman’s battle royal before? Does having one at WrestleMania make it any more special than any of the other battle royals we’ve seen? Like, I don’t know, the Royal Rumble? Naomi won, because whatever, but I didn’t enjoy this one bit. It was cringe-worthy, all the NXT women were just sort of jammed in there without any real purpose other than to get a few moves in. We, of course, got the predictable Sasha and Bayley faceoff I’m sure everyone was just dying to see which didn’t even result in anything but a swift elimination. Then Naomi just pops out of nowhere, and bam, it’s over. Like, what? Bad. DUD
Seth Rollins def. The Miz (C) and Finn Balor – Intercontinental Championship
I’m sure we all knew that this was going to be the match to open the card, because Rollins, Miz, and Balor are three of the top workhorses in WWE, and the three have unbelievable chemistry with each other. And what an opener this was. Before I get into the nitty-gritty, can I just saw how much I adored Seth Rollins’ entrance as White Walker? I think we all knew from the moment he entered, he’d be winning the title. The reason why I picked Rollins to win the match was that he was the one who was carrying the most momentum into WrestleMania, and while normally that would signify a loss at WrestleMania the week before, I believed that WWE was going to capitalize on his momentum. In addition, you can always just put the title back on The Miz because he’s done it 8 times already, and he’ll probably do it again to break Pedro’s record. Meanwhile, Finn Balor was an excellent third piece, though I’m inclined to believe that we are going to have the first ever “Slingblade” match at WrestleMania with how many we’ve seen from him.
What I adored about this match the most was the pace. The three just kept going and there were little dead spots. They just kept going and going. We got from Point A to Point B in succession without losing the crowd and there were plenty of moments where I thought the match was over. What I wanted was for Seth to do a spot where he had Miz and Balor down on each side of the ring and would Curb Stomp both of them at the same time, but I’ll take what I can get. Seth winning was the right choice for me, and I believed he will carry it with pride. And on top of this, he’s a Grand Slam Champion. But yeah, overall, this was a-rockin’ great opener that got the crowd into it. Long live WhiteWalker Rollins. It may be spring, but winter is here. ****1/4
Charlotte (C) def. Asuka – Smackdown Women’s Championship
Wow, the Undertaker’s undefeated streak and now Asuka’s undefeated streak. Ain’t nothin safe in New Orleans. Safe to say that nobody except those who booked the match knew about the outcome. That said, what a physical match that had a sense of urgency from the get-go. It began with Charlotte’s mind-games to begin and then Asuka countering with her physicality. There’s really no other way to describe it. Asuka is at her best when someone rises to meet her intensity in the ring, and Charlotte was clearly more than up for the challenge. She had to bust out Ali’s finisher and get more physical than she usually does in her matches in order to get the advantage on to Asuka.
In the battle of submissions, I specifically liked how Charlotte was constantly able to counter Asuka’s finishing moves and get her out of any comfort zones. One thing about Charlotte that I especially appreciate is the fact that she picks her spots carefully and she just knows what to do at certain moments and Asuka was the perfect performer to counter with. Now, the finish was what surprised me. If Asuka was going to lose today, I was expecting like a roll-up or something, but Charlotte making Asuka tap? When two weeks ago, she herself was losing to roll-ups from Natalya? That part was definitely shocking, but if there’s any other indication you need that Charlotte is the real deal, look no further than this match. This was also a performance that Charlotte needed badly because her performances have been lacking for the past year. Not since her series of matches with Sasha has she had one of those vintage performances that make you be reminded as to why she’s one of the best pure female performances WWE has ever employed. That changed tonight. ****
Jinder Mahal def. Randy Orton (C), Bobby Roode and Rusev – United States Championship
News flash, WWE. Putting titles on a guy that’s not over won’t make him any more over. What was even more frustrating was that the least over guy in the match pinned the most over guy. I mean, seriously, what has Rusev done? What more does he gotta do? Orton’s one of my favorite superstars, so I was rooting for him to win, but I wouldn’t have felt any sort of way if Orton lost. If Rusev won, I would have been satisfied. If Roode won it again, I would have just said meh. But freaking Jinder? My only hunch is because of the huge Network event they are having in Saudi Arabia is why Jinder held the title, but Jinder has not grown an inch since winning the WWE Championship. He’s still the same bland, foreign zealot who’s no more over than when he was forcefully inserted into the title scene. Hell, the finishes in his matches are still the same, right down to one of the Singhs interfering in his matches and hitting the Cobra Slam from behind. Everything is the FUCKING same with him, and I don’t get what the infatuation is.
The match was passable, I guess. Everybody hit their stuff, Orton did whatever, Rusev did his thing and Aiden did a good Cesaro impersonation, but it really didn’t do anything for me. The concern I had in this match was whether or not these guys would have the means to keep the crowd in it for the entire match. Orton has the most star-power in the match, at least I hope he does, but he couldn’t carry this in. It was just alright. **1/4
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey def. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon – Mixed Tag Team Match
I can’t believe we are in 2018 and I’m questioning whether or not AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura can have a better match than what we just saw. I mean, seriously. Here am I, expecting two past their prime veterans and two women in their first WrestleMania match to go out there to have a decent, at best, tag team match, and what we end up getting is what many consider to be the match of the night thus far. I loved every bit of this. We got the psychology started early when Stephanie was doing everything in her power to prevent Ronda from getting any offense or getting a tag. She kept that up for around the first quarter of the match or so before Ronda got the tag. And shit got real rather quickly. My word, can Ronda go. Her physicality is unprecedented. Her athleticism is incredible, and you can tell that she was more than ready for this moment. At first, I was concerned because Ronda had trouble speaking like a wrestler, but she caught on quickly. Then I was concerned how she would transition into WWE, and my goodness, she hit every beat just like that.
What I think I enjoyed most about the match was Ronda’s interactions with Triple H. Because it showed Ronda’s versatility and strength, while at the same time maintaining her credibility. I am actually sort of glad that Stephanie wasn’t just some sort of amateur and was able to at least keep pace with Ronda, because I don’t think it would have been any fun if Ronda just spent the entire match running roughshod on everyone in sight, and the crowd absolutely loved it. And holy shit, did you guys see that ending submission sequence? I could have believed Stephanie’s arm could have come out of her socket right then and there. Kurt Angle and Triple H’s interactions were also stellar too, as they were able to keep things simple, but not in a way where they would lose the crowd. Overall, the right team won, Ronda’s debut was a roaring success, and the crowd was more than satisfied. The greatest thing is that I’m sure no one had any sky-high expectations simply because Ronda was in her first match, but because we were surprised, this made everything all the more wonderful to watch. May we get more of this in the future. Bravo. ****1/2
Bludgeon Brothers def. The Usos (C) and The New Day – Smackdown Tag Team Championship
After that mixed tag, I’m sure the crowd wasn’t going to give this much of a chance unless this resembled anything like the tag team matches that Smackdown had in the early 00’s. Overall, I think it was what it needed to be. There was no reason to have The Bludgeon Brothers lose here and have all their momentum stalled. They came in, they dominated in style, the match didn’t meander on and on needlessly, and they picked up the win. While I’m kind of sad that The Usos didn’t get more time despite carrying the Smackdown Tag Team division for the past year, I’m sure they appreciated getting the nod for being on the main card to begin with. There isn’t much else to say other than this was what it had to be, and it was done well. **1/4
The Undertaker def. John Cena
Man, they really played this up until the very last minute didn’t they? There was never a doubt that Undertaker was gonna appear tonight. The only question was in what fashion, and we got goosebumps the moment Cena made his way up the ramp. Honestly, no one should be complaining at what we got. Wouldn’t you rather see Undertaker bury Cena in 3 minutes than watch him kill himself for 20 minutes in a match that won’t resemble anything like the Undertaker we all know and love? I was happy they ended it with the Tombstone right then and there because let’s face it. The Undertaker does not have much gas left in the tank, and the fact that we got him appearing and a match out of him in any capacity is all we needed. If the match went on any longer, we all would have just gotten the predictable kick-out finisher fest that would just be slow and plodding. This was what it needed to be. Cena had been whining that The Undertaker wasn’t going to show, he got him and he got his ass kicked. Of course, the match was short, so it’s nothing special, but WrestleMania is more about moments than the caliber of matches, and we got one here. **
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon def. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
Daniel Bryan really is back. It’s no longer just the Internet dirt sheets telling us he’s back. We actually saw him kick people and make people tap out again and stuff. I literally cannot believe my eyes. I just realized this, but I commend WWE for portraying some imagery here with Daniel doing the stretcher job, a reference to the stretcher job Daniel did when he was here at WrestleMania in New Orleans the last time. I was actually kind of surprised the crowd wasn’t as loud as I was expecting. I mean, they were loud, but I didn’t feel the roof come off the place like it did in past matches or when Daniel first got physical with Kevin and Sami. Then again, they have been sitting on their butts for five hours by now, so I guess I can’t be surprised.
Still, it was incredible to see Daniel in the ring again. Dreams really do come true. As for the actual match, it was more or less what I was expecting. Shane was going to do most of the in-ring work for his team before Daniel got the hot tag and ran wild. It wasn’t anything too crazy, and I wasn’t expecting anything like that, but I got what I wanted out of it. I suppose this means that Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are moving to RAW now? Overall it was a good little tag match that accomplished its purpose and confirmed that Daniel is officially back. ***1/4
Nia Jax def. Alexa Bliss (C) – RAW Women’s Championship
This really should have been no longer than 2 minutes. Nia should have just come out, did what she did to Mickie, toss around Bliss a few times and then did the finish. All the extra stuff with Nia’s leg and her eyes didn’t really add anything to it and were just a way to stall for time. I assure you the crowd would have reacted the same way, if not louder if they just got right to the point. Bliss is a good enough worker, but she’s also shown she doesn’t mesh well with certain performers, and Nia is one of those people. They just don’t click together. That said, for what we got, it would make for a decent RAW match. This was also a long time coming for Nia. Many people thought there were numerous times in the past where she should have won it, but it wasn’t the right time. This was the right time for her, and I’m happy for her because she’s earned it. I just wish it came in a squash and not something pretending to be a competitive back and forth affair. **
AJ Styles (C) def. Shinsuke Nakamura – WWE Championship
Dammit, I can’t believe Triple H, in 2018, had a better WrestleMania match than AJ and Nakamura. Oh, well. Anyways, like you probably already guessed, this, much like the Cruiserweight Title match, wasn’t what I wanted or expected. It was, again, very good, but I just kept waiting and waiting for that moment where it would reach that 2nd gear, and I don’t think we got there. We got some tremendous back and forth action from a physical sense, and we had some basic psychology, with AJ Styles’ back and Nakamura’s knee coming into play. Both men had visible trouble hitting their moves and had to resort to other tactics in order to win, which I appreciated.
THAT BEING SAID, man. In the ring column that Mango put out, I was asked which match would be the best from WrestleMania weekend. I said to flip a coin and that heads would be AJ/Nakamura and tails would be for Ciampa/Gargano. Boy was I way off the mark here. We didn’t get all of the epicness and near-falls that their match at Wrestle Kingdom brought. I don’t know if they were told to taper the match intensity down, but I probably should have known better than to expect WWE to allow AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura to steal the show at WrestleMania. Not when we have Brock and Reigns in the main event. Nakamura’s heel turn was certainly surprising and something I did not expect, and that moment was actually better than the actual match. Again, the match was good, but certainly not as great as it could have gotten, and unfortunately, we won’t be saying 10 years from now “remember that legendary dream bout between two of the greatest wrestlers in the world”. It will be remembered as “Oh yeah, remember when AJ and Nakamura had that match at WrestleMania?” And let this sink in while you’re at it. Triple H and Stephanie freaking McMahon had a better match than AJ and Nakamura in 2018. We can never live this one down. ***1/2
Brown Strowman and Nicolas def. Cesaro (C) and Sheamus (C) – RAW Tag Team Championship
Yeah, I’m not gonna dignify this with an in-depth analyzation, but all I can say is I hope that kid has been to the performance center training and has his future set because 6th grade is something he can’t say he finished. At least that’s what it looks like. I mean, what do you want me to say about this? We were led to believe we were gonna have a great, shocking partner to compliment Braun’s style. And what do we get? The time that could have been used for AJ and Nakamura were spent on Braun going through the child searching for a partner, and we get a kid instead.
He looks like a good boy, I guess, but seriously? I mean, if the point was that Braun Strowman could defeat Cesaro and Sheamus with a minor and on his own, they pretty much already established that the moment he won the battle royal. What’s worse is that all this time was spent building up the suspense behind the mystery partner week after week, and there wasn’t a pay-off. I suppose for an in-the-moment WrestleMania thing, it was cool. But in the grand scheme of things, what a waste this is. So is Braun going to be carrying both tag title belts or is Nicolas going to be road buddies with him? The match was a squash. One half of the RAW Tag Team Champions couldn’t have been born any later than 2008. Feel old yet? DUD
Brock Lesnar (C) def. Roman Reigns – Universal Championship
What a disgraceful main event. No, seriously, what a disgrace. Roman losing this match didn’t make this any better. Not like it would have made a bit of difference. This match was beyond sloppy, nonsensical, repetitive, and just like Roman’s face at the end of the match, a big fat mess. Take their WrestleMania 31 match, remove all of the organic moves and transitions and remove Seth running down the match, and you have the sloppy leftovers. This was all this was. A big, sloppy mess. Either WWE just doesn’t get it, or they just don’t care, and it’s looking like it’s a combination of both. They don’t know what they are doing wrong, and they don’t care how to make things right. WWE’s issue is that we are still expected to take Roman Reigns, who kicks out of endless finishers, seriously as an underdog. Look at him. He’s built like a tank. He wears a vest. He’s a Grand Slam Champion. What part of that screams underdog to you? I was honestly surprised that Roman lost because everything was building up towards one of those come-from-behind, inspirational victories that we are supposed to be lauding? Excuse me?
Roman is starting to get a track record for poor WrestleMania matches that either lack in quality or get hijacked. The only question remains now is who Roman could possibly face at WrestleMania next year to officially coronate him as the man? Not only did the match, suck, but he lost. So now, while he still has endless accolades, he’s still just a big guy that can talk a big game but can’t defeat the man who holds the top title in the company at the moment. As for Lesnar, his infatuation with German suplexes has severely decreased the quality of his matches. But not only was he unoriginal here, he was sloppy. Did you see some of those suplexes? It’s like he had a stroke on one side of his body. He just looked visibly uninterested.
But the worst part of all of this? The kick-outs. Did you see how ridiculous this got? Roman kicked out of 5, freaking FIVE F-5’s. I mean, I get kicking out of finishers can create drama, but after a certain point, it starts to get ridiculous. Lesnar’s F-5 in the last year has been built up as a finisher in which he only he needs one to put his opponent away. Yet, Roman takes 5 of them. It just looks incredibly stupid and cartoonish. I suppose the only thing that could have made this any worse was if Roman were to survive that and actually beat him. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care that Roman lost or that Lesnar is still the champion. What I care about is how WWE continues to pilfer its golden boy and continue to wonder why he’s not over or why his matches keep getting CM Punk chants. It’s because he’s booked stupidly. You…CANNOT expect anyone to take someone who looks like Roman seriously as an underdog. From start to finish, the match lost the crowd and they were stone cold for the majority of it (no pun intended). Seth Rollins wasn’t going to run down that aisle to save it, and only that could have saved what a disaster this was. Roman has had bad main events against Triple H and Undertaker last year, and he has another bad performance to put on his mantle. And he didn’t he even win this go around.
This is certainly in John Cena vs. The Miz territory for the title of one of the worst WrestleMania main events in the history of the show. The blood gave it a real fight feel so I’ll give it a quarter of a star. And it’s lucky I give it just that. This match would have been so much better had we not seen literally the exact same sequences time after time. 1/4*
Conclusion:
And here I was saying after the Daniel Bryan tag match, this was on pace to be one of the best WrestleManias of all time. Then we got all of the title defenses from the RAW brand bring things down. Unfortunately, AJ and Nakamura underwhelmed as well. Fortunately, the first half of the show was incredible, and it didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the show one bit. It’s a shame when WWE fails to carry the momentum of a show from the first match to the last because this had all-time great written all over it, but the final hour brought things down. In addition, 7 hours? Really? Does WWE realize that people have lives outside of their product? You can’t simply devote one-third of an entire day to WrestleMania and expect people not to burn out. You just can’t do it. And when your main event sucks major ass, it only compounds things.
Overall, there was more good than bad, but my goodness, I wouldn’t be caught dead watching that entire final hour again. WWE needs to also realize that quality beats quantity every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Look at tonight. The longest match was around 20 minutes and we still managed to go from 5 to midnight. Takeover had its longest match at around 37 minutes, and that was not only a far better show, but it was less than half the length of time. There is something called “too much”. Tune in tomorrow night on RAW to see The Revival beat the snot out of a minor and Lesnar give his “This is my yard now” promo and earn his paycheck for the year. Thumbs in the middle for the final hour, but leaning up for the first half. Until next time.
