Starship No Pain
This is one of my biggest pet peeves in wrestling. John Morrison cannot connect with the Starship Pain to save his life. Maybe he has connected at some point? But every time I have seen him do the Starship Pain in the past few years he has missed every… single… time.
It’s an impressive-looking move, but it irks me that he never touches his opponent’s. This guy was World Champion of Impact and other promotions. Not the worst wrestler in the world, but he must know how many people hate the way this move is done? I can’t stop shaking my head at how bad it is.
We’ve all seen it. Wrestler goes up to the top rope and their opponent sees them go. But they aren’t in the best position, so they (not so) slyly shuffle their bodies over to the best spot to be hit with the move. I find the more professional wrestlers who find themselves in this situation roll their bodies like they are trying to get up, instead of just shuffling over like a worm.
Stop shuffling! It looks bad. Sometimes they do it when they really don’t need too… when they should just let their opponent fly further if they can’t be bothered to place them properly. If the flyer is so concerned about where their opponent is situated, it should be up to them to move them accordingly. Most of the time it’s unnecessary.
Most of the time, wrestling referees do not know how to count in consistent intervals. What should be a 10 count turns in to 5 count. What ends up as a 9 count is more like a 22 count. Sometimes they just stop counting altogether for no good reason, or because someone talks to them. And sometimes when referees are counting, they get distracted, and they start from zero again. You can always tell when there will be a Count Out finish because the referee figure out they can count in a consistent, yet slightly sped up and LOUD manner.
The referee makes totally sure that the audience at home can hear the wrestlers are in jeopardy of being counted out. Rest of the time, they either don’t know how to count properly, or assume no one is going to pick up on how half-arsed the system is. And wrestlers almost always get back in by the count of 9. Why? Because that’s the only point of having a count out, right? Despite having this rule in place, count out finishes are super rare these days.
Spin Moves Don’t Make The Deliverer As Dizzy?
I love Airplane Spins and Cesaro’s Big Swing, but if you think about it… it makes little sense. Why would you spin your opponent around if it’s also going to make you equally dizzy? And what is it going to accomplish? Unless your opponent is the kind of person who gets easily squeamish, there is no point to these moves other than it looks funny on TV.
I can spin my daughter and nephew (not at the same time!) around on my shoulders for a good minute, maybe two, but I end up becoming the victim of my own foolish Airplane Spin. They are totally fine, while I’m struggling to maintain my balance. So what is the point of these spins in wrestling? How is it giving the guy delivering it the advantage? The answer is it shouldn’t, but somehow it does… and it cannot be explained why.
Tyler Bate’s Shoulder Rope Bounce
I’m a fan of Tyler Bate’s ring work, he’s one of the most promising young talents of NXT UK (and first UK Champion). I’m not getting in to the sex allegations that were thrown his way because this isn’t the time for it, but I have one gripe with his moveset. For those who don’t know, Tyler does this thing where he jumps at the top rope shoulder blades first, and bounces back with enough momentum to counter his opponent.
At first I was like… wow, that is kinda cool! But after repeated viewings, it started taking me out of the action because it’s unnecessary. It’s not like you would get a different result if you ran the ropes normally. His opponent shouldn’t be thrown off or surprised by this move, because anyone who scouts him sufficiently would know he does this. And what if someday he misses? He’ll look so foolish.
Excessive False Finishes
I love false finishes. At the right time with the right moves, a false finish or two, or three, will add a ton of suspense and excitement to an epic encounter. But there is a limit! And in this era, they sometimes go too far, thinking that it looks great and the fans are totally invested. You can tell when they have done too many false finishes though, because the crowd change from a state of “Wow, this is awesome!”, to “Ehh, how is this match going to end?!”.
They are still excited and are popping (not as loud), but the wrestlers have gone past the clinical moment when the match should have ended for the best payoff. Like I’ve said before, if you are constantly kicking out of each other’s biggest stuff over and over again, it makes everyone’s offense look weak. I have found that Tag Team contests are usually the biggest culprits of false finish fests.
Pinning The Legs, Not The Shoulders
Lance Storm has touched upon this issue before. In wrestling, the aim is to pin your opponent’s shoulder’s to the mat for the 1-2-3. So why do so many wrestlers hook a leg? It’s not the leg you are pinning. Some wrestlers grab the leg and lean on the shoulders, but there are so many who just hook a leg and don’t do more to mount pressure on the most important body part. And then you have guys like Sami Callihan, who count along with the referee in the middle of an important match.
Even while wrestling for a World Championship, his cockiness encourages him to pin his opponent with the laziest cover while counting along like he’s back in school. Why? If a match is so important, why are you not doing everything you can to keep your opponent down? I think so many have forgotten that a pinfall is the most crucial aspect of the game. The wrestlers know when the finish is, but the fans don’t, so if you’re being lazy with your covers and counting along… we know it’s not the end before the referee can call it. Wrestlers should act like they don’t know when the finish is. Only then will pins mean something again.