Thursday, June 13, 2024
EditorialPrimo and Epico Returning: Does Anybody Really Care About The Colons?

Primo and Epico Returning: Does Anybody Really Care About The Colons?



A vignette aired this week on Monday Night Raw signifying the return of Primo and Epico to action. The last time we saw them in the ring was September 7, 2015 when they dropped off the face of the earth.

Now that Los Matadores are clearly a dead gimmick for them and they will be returning to their previous personas as simply The Colons (or at least, that’s what it seems like), I have to ask: does anybody really care in the slightest bit?

Normally when a team returns, the fan base goes wild. When The Shield temporarily reformed, everybody went nuts. When The Wyatt Family got back together, it was the right move. DX had a resurgence, as did nWo, Edge and Christian and so on. But who was clamoring for The Colons to be back on television?

This team has gone through various incarnations over the years and none of them have been particularly successful. After Carlito was taken out of the equation and replaced with Epico in November 2011, for four years they teamed up and were glorified jobbers. For a hot minute, Hunico was part of the group, but he moved on to partner up with Camacho (yeah, he’s gone too) leaving room for Rosa Mendes, who was easily the biggest attraction for the trio. Somehow, they were able to defeat Air Boom to win the WWE Tag Team Championship in January of 2012, holding onto those belts with an incredibly forgettable reign until they dropped them to R-Boom in April. Clearly, judging by the past few sentences, this was a terrible time for the tag team division, so it’s not as though they were the champions during a renaissance.

For the longest time, they sat in the background, wrestling on Superstars and Main Event (and losing) before taking a much needed break. Then, in August 2013, WWE started airing vignettes for Los Matadores, which would be a repackaging of the two under a more colorful persona as Diego and Fernando, accompanied by their very own mascot, El Torito. This was a chance to give them a rebirth and inject some adrenaline into their careers, but it wasn’t long before they were booked as a joke.

Just as it had happened before, they spent the next portion of their careers jobbing out on the television shows nobody watches or not being booked at all in many other cases. Eventually, El Torito surpassed the two Colons and the time came to call it quits. After losing to The Dudley Boyz, they turned on El Torito and were never spoken of again until this week.

While the video package promoting the arrival of Los Matadores was something different, the one that aired on this week’s Raw was more like a terrible commercial from a travel service advertising not much more than the flowers that you can sniff in Puerto Rico. Not only did this not sell me on wanting to take a trip there, it certainly didn’t sell me on wanting to see these two guys back on my television screen.

In a business of “what have you done for me lately”, I can ask about Primo and Epico “what have you done for me ever?” Back when Carlito was around with Primo, I was actually fond of the duo, but when you take the apple-spitting cool guy out of the equation and replace him with Epico (who only seems to have gotten in worse shape now, and downgrades are not what this team can afford to deal with), it’s just not a winning combination. At least if Carlito were brought into the mix, the trio could maybe have a one month feud with The New Day before I would be hoping for them to fade back into obscurity, but on their own, Primo and Epico have never shown to offer much in the five years they teamed together.

With so many better teams on the roster, where’s the room for them? I would much rather see them work with the NXT crew on live events to help teach them whatever they can about in-ring work (and certainly not any advice they have to offer about building characters). On the main roster, though, even a tag team like The Ascension—who has had nothing but bad luck since moving up from developmental—seem like better people to invest time into.

Frankly, I just don’t see any value in this team, and I’m genuinely curious if there are any members of the WWE Universe who feel differently. If you do, and you can offer some insight into just why I and others who are on the same brainwaves as myself are wrong and should be excited, by all means let us know in the comments below.

Until then, I’ll pass and watch an old Razor Ramon vignette instead.

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