Match Predictions and Heat Index Anticipation Levels
Temperature Scale = Scorching > Hot > Lukewarm > Temperate > Chilly > Cold > Freezing
Heat Index is my assessment of how interesting the segment is, including how excited I am for the match and how intriguing the feud has been. The hotter, the better. Scorching translates to not being able to wait to see it, while Freezing means I couldn’t possibly care less and think it will be awful.
HELL IN A CELL MATCH:
Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins
Heat Index = Lukewarm
Prediction: Cody Rhodes wins.
Thoughts: Two good matches before, but why are they having a third? Why is this inside Hell in a Cell when the feud is nowhere near as important as that cage should revolve around? I miss when that gimmick was reserved for better things and that people could have more brutal matches. This is going to just be the same match we saw before, but with Rhodes and Rollins throwing each other into the side of the cage and using kendo sticks. In the grand scheme of things…pass. In a bubble in and of itself, I’m sure it’ll be fine, if not good, but knowing everything that came before it, it’s still underwhelming. Sad that it is easily the most worthwhile thing on the card, too.
RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH:
Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka vs. Becky Lynch
Heat Index = Lukewarm
Prediction: Bianca Belair wins.
Thoughts: Bianca Belair is great. Asuka is great. Becky Lynch is great. This match SHOULD be great. But doesn’t it just feel a little bland? By the numbers? Super generic with an outcome that is predictable unless they go for a pointless swerve that would make significantly less sense and be far worse than just going the boring route? Poor Asuka is taking the pin, isn’t she?
2-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH:
Bobby Lashley vs. Omos and MVP
Heat Index = Freezing
Prediction: Bobby Lashley wins.
Thoughts: I. Do. Not. Care. Holy hell, these guys have had what, five matches? This isn’t a good feud. Stop acting like Lashley can cut promos and stop pretending like this is some deep-seeded rivalry. Just give Lashley the win and hopefully, he can fight Roman Reigns at Money in the Bank. I’m probably hoping for too much there.
SINGLES MATCH:
Ezekiel vs. Kevin Owens
Heat Index = Cold
Prediction: Kevin Owens wins.
Thoughts: Kevin Owens does his best to make his segments entertaining, but this feud is mostly garbage and there isn’t much of a way for it to translate to an in-ring product. If this is the best WWE has to offer, why aren’t the mass sweeping changes to the company’s structure ever happening on a creative level? As far as the winner goes, I flipped a coin. It literally doesn’t matter and WWE will go in either direction and just keep this going no matter what. Ezekiel stands just as much of a chance to win.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Theory (c) vs. Mustafa Ali
Heat Index = Chilly
Prediction: Theory wins.
Thoughts: Have I said before that I hate it when WWE does a match on Monday or Friday, only to have it again at the pay-per-view? Oh? I have? Thousands of times? Well, that hasn’t changed. Even though some will argue “we didn’t REALLY get it” because Theory had jumped Ali ahead of time, we saw enough of it that I have no real eagerness to see it again, as nothing they did made me crave more. I’m fine with just moving on from this lackluster feud. Let’s put Theory in a better storyline with someone WWE cares more about so it isn’t this hacked up mess with Ciampa, The Miz and others crossing over.
SIX-PERSON MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH:
Finn Bálor, AJ Styles and Liv Morgan vs. The Judgment Day
Heat Index = Chilly
Prediction: The Judgment Day wins.
Thoughts: This should be a Raw match, not a pay-per-view match. I don’t know what else to say. Either Balor turns on his crew here, or it’s an even more useless segment than I thought. Judgment Day has to win.
NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH:
Madcap Moss vs. Happy Corbin
Heat Index = Cold
Prediction: Madcap Moss wins.
Thoughts: Well, it has the No DQ stipulation. That’s better than just another rematch. But not too much, considering how this feud isn’t anything to be wowed by and the whole rest of the card is bland, too.
OVERALL PPV:
How excited am I for the event as a whole?
Heat Index = Cold
Thoughts: Why should anyone care about this event? Just to see one match where the gimmick isn’t as good as it was 20 years ago? This didn’t even need to exist.
What do you think is going to happen at WWE Hell in a Cell? Which matches are you most excited to see? Keep the discussion going in the comments below!
