As you know I was the greatest color commentator in the
history of WCW. From calling the great Scott Hall and Kevin Nash forming the Illuminati
World Order with Hulk “sex with daughter” Hogan to Sting vs Vampirio in the
great “gunshot to the face match” at storage wars 2000. I have provided some of
the wittiest, smartest, heart warming commentary ever. That’s why I have to say
that all commentators today, yesterday, and in the future suck major league anus.
So that’s why as of today I am announcing my return to fake wrestling
announcing, as soon as I find a job.
Vince, before you even ask me, no I will not work for you. After calling all
the horrible action of WCW my standards are far too high to call your snore fest.
As for you Dixie, no you don’t have the money for the catering team that is a
must for me. ROH, forget about it. So that leaves me only one choice. Roman Polanski’s
6 years and under female beauty pageant wrestling. Talk about hot action.
I be waiting for your call Roman.
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As many of you know, My 568 I.Q. is the …… oh, that’s my weight.
My 148 Super I.Q. makes me the smartest man ever in fake
wrestling. While working for the dumb dumb Eric Bischoff in WCW I was often humiliated
for presenting the greatest ideas ever in the history of mankind. One time I
gave Eric the great idea of allowing me to have sex with Ms. Hancock on T.V.,
he looked at me and said that no one would buy it.
Buy it, I offered to pay for it.
And that’s why WCW is as dead as my sex life.
By sex life I mean chronic masturbation.
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On my radio show today, it was announced that I Mark Fadden
will be awarded the lifetime achievement award for the hairiest man boobs. Take
that Ric Flair! I kid, love ya Naitch.
Before you dumb fan boys start with your jokes, I want you
to know my boobs have gotten me through many lonely nights in high school, college
and life.
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So until Justin Retard check clears go to hell. My order is
here… nothing better than deep fried beacon.
