Seth Rollins def. Roman Reigns (C) by DQ – Universal Championship
This was an absolute masterclass in storytelling. Honestly speaking. Seth Rollins coming out in Shield gear. The callbacks to previous spots where Seth defeated Roman in title matches. The laughing in between moves. Roman gradually losing his sanity and being visibly mentally disturbed by Rollins’ antics. All the post-match stuff. I absolutely loved this because it told the story of Rollins and Reigns’ history in half an hour. What disturbs Reigns is that he cannot let go of his past affiliation with The Shield, and he can’t stand the fact that it was Rollins that took the initiative to take the chair and put a permanent disconnect and mistrust between the two. I loved it. What I loved most was at the end. Roman Reigns had the guillotine choke in, and didn’t break the hold. Charles Robinson asked him to let go, and Roman loudly shouted, “He won’t let me let go.” Roman is trying to move on, but even in the midst of this Tribal Chief phase, he cannot fully put it behind him.
As for the actual match itself, it was pretty solid, although it did kind of feel as though they were just playing their best hits, like Cena and Orton used to do back in the day. The atmosphere made the ring work better and more impactful than it was, but I do think they hit just the right mark. So you combine solid ring work with great storytelling, and you get a damn fine opener. ****
Ronda Rousey Wins Women’s Royal Rumble
A few formal notes in real time before I formally review the match:
- God bless Kelly Kelly, but yikes.
- I really thought Sasha Banks was going to be the iron woman.
- Michelle looks remarkable even after all this time.
- Cameron can’t return without Brodus. Them’s the rules.
- I’m glad they acknowledged Naomi and Cameron have history.
- I’ll be honest, I loved the Ivory return.
- Didn’t think they’d actually have Mickie show off the title. I respect it.
- Since when did Fox get tattoo sleeves on her arms??
- “The legends continue…SUMMER RAE.” Is that not an oxymoron?
- Sarah looks so different. Marriage may do that to you.
- The Nikki/Molly stuff made complete sense. Glad they did it.
- Brie got Nikki back for 2018. Good.
- Ronda looks like she’s starring in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
- 30 is Shayna Bazler. I was holding out for Bayley or Paige. Oh, well. Ronda will have to do.
- It’s a shame Ronda will likely be challenging Flair. I want the singles Ronda/Becky match bad. There’s no way Becky doesn’t acknowledge Ronda’s return, so here’s to hoping that they see each other down the road.
Overall, this Rumble was pretty good. The first one still ranks as the best to me because we had no idea what to expect or who would come. WWE didn’t do themselves any favors by spoiling who some of the returning women would be, but it was still good seeing them. As I mentioned before, I held out marginal hope that Bayley or Paige would return. I was far more confident in Bayley than Paige, but I guess having Ronda with those two would be too much for one Rumble. Rumbles are pretty hard to rate so I generally grade them based on my level of enjoyment, and I think that this one ranks as my second favorite behind the inaugural. One thing that I must make a note of, however.
The women’s Rumble matches are starting to showcase just how thin of star power the women’s roster is right now. Between the Bella Twins, Lita, Mickie James, Melina, Ivory, Mighty Molly, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Sarah Logan, Summer Rae and Cameron, damn near half of the Rumble entrants are women who are either retired, haven’t been in the ring in years, or don’t even work for this company. If anything, that’s an indictment on how the women of today are being booked. There simply isn’t enough intrigue or depth on the women’s roster to showcase all of their talent, so they reach out to any alumni willing to do a couple of minutes of ring work. Wonder how long WWE intends to use this strategy. The rumble was solid, if not a bit uneventful at times. The work from the final four was also pretty good and carried things along nicely. Ending was kinda anticlimactic though. ***1/2
Becky Lynch (C) def. Doudrop – RAW Women’s Championship
Unfortunately, this match drew the post-Rumble match spot. Unfortunate. I honestly am not sure how I felt about the match. Part of it felt well worked, showcasing Doudrop’s strength and Becky’s inability to keep her down. It also felt a tad clunky, with transitions to spots looking a bit awkward and clunky. It also appeared as though the crowd’s attention was diverted elsewhere during a portion of the match. I will definitely say that both women gave a pretty solid effort, especially Doudrop, as this was her first major test on a big stage. I think she did well enough to pass, although there’s plenty of room to grow. Pretty forgettable, but for two women who never worked with each other tasked with competing after a long Rumble match, I’ll ease up. **3/4
Bobby Lashley def. Brock Lesnar (C) – WWE Championship
First thing’s first. That hype video package was too damn long. I won’t say that I was let down by this match, it just wasn’t what I was expecting. This match seemed like a carbon copy of what Roman and Brock used to do six years ago. It’s fine, but it didn’t feel like what I was expecting. I actually enjoyed their interactions at Day 1 more. Again, this was far from a bad match. It was quite good. However, it just felt kind of….whatever. I wasn’t expecting Roman to insert himself in the match since he was so preoccupied with Seth Rollins, but at the same time I can’t be surprised since Roman/Brock is clearly the direction for WrestleMania. I suppose this match also succeeded in spoiling who will likely win the Rumble match. So overall, a good match, but I hope a proper rematch between the two happens some time down the line. This was fine for what it was, and I’m all for WWE Champion Bobby part 2. What this match looked like in my head was so much better though. ***
Edge and Beth Phoenix vs. The Miz and Maryse
The winners were never in question. All I was hoping for was Maryse not injuring Edge trying to do that hurricanrana. Mission accomplished. Decent little warm-up for the main event. Nothing much else to say. **3/4
Brock Lesnar Wins Men’s Royal Rumble Match
Once again, live notes as I am watching:
- Austin Theory is my pick for Royal Rumble iron man. We’ll see how it goes.
- A rather random, unceremonious elimination for Shinsuke that was barely caught on camera. He’s really done nothing with that title. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that’s happened.
- Montez Ford needs a singles run.
- As far as celebrity Rumble appearances go, Knoxville is up there in the top 5 ish. Drew Carey did the damn thing in 2001 though.
- A rather lackluster first ten.
- Not gonna lie, seeing Omos get hype doing the most basic big man moves is kinda entertaining. One gorilla press and he loses it.
- Not a good night for the mid-card champions. Yikes.
- Rumble’s halfway over and we are seriously lacking in star power here. If there are any surprises to be made, I hope they’re good, cause this has been boring so far. Need to wake the crowd up with something. Maybe Orton will come through with the hometown pop.
- So much for my Theory Iron Man pick. I guess you could say I had a….theory on why he would win. Sorry guys, the pun was right there.
- Madcap Moss eliminating AJ? That’s certainly a decision that was made.
- In other news, I’m positive Boogs lasted longer in the Rumble than Nakamura.
- So Drew’s back. Finally, something.
- Speaking of Rey Mysterio, WWE 2K22 actually looks like it won’t be a complete disaster.
- Kofi didn’t hit his yearly Rumble spot. Looks like he’s past his prime. Kind of a microcosm of this match.
- Crowd is deafeningly silent for a Rumble match.
- Bad Bunny definitely the best celebrity to ever do WWWE. He doesn’t do things half-way. I dig it.
- Shane with those weak punches is the best they could do for a surprise this year? I’m weak.
- Two spots left. I assume Orton and Lesnar. Maybe not in that order.
- With the exception of last year, I feel like Orton always gets the high numbers. He’s rigging it.
- Big E eliminated just like that?? I figured he was a favorite.
- The Final 5 of the Royal Rumble in 2022 is Bad Bunny, Drew McIntyre, Shane McMahon, Riddle and Brock Lesnar. Read that again with a straight face if you can.
Okay guys, I got my thoughts together. Without a shadow of a doubt, one of the worst men’s Rumble’s matches in WWE history. If not the worst, definitely in the lower 5-ish or so. My biggest problem with this year’s Rumble was that it was just an hour of fluff until the finish. There was absolutely no one that you realistically think could have won the match until maybe Drew or Big E. And then of course, Lesnar. So we’re going through the motions for the first 20 or so guys, and they’re just individuals of tag teams, mid-carders or those who are not involved in anything substantial right now. Just straight padding. AJ was holding things up well for the first stretch or so of the match before he just got randomly eliminated. Then, everything just fell on his face and guys were just appearing one after the other just for the sake of appearing. There were no contenders.
When the field of competitors was announced, I drastically lowered my expectations, but even if you don’t have the strongest group of guys, you can still manage it in a way that keeps the crowd engaged. But for the first 20 entrants? Aside from AJ, just completely forgettable. It also doesn’t help that this Rumble was completely predictable. Who else were we honestly expecting to be number 30? The Rock? There’s only one person it could have been barring in mind the events of the WWE Title match. It was a carbon copy of what Roman Reigns did in 2017. Only he did not win.
I’ve also always wondered how guys who have confirmed title matches on the card get Rumble spots. Like, Brock Lesnar was the WWE Champion? Did he pre-emptively guarantee himself a spot in the Rumble on the off-chance that he would lose? It’s not the first time that it has happened, but I hate that this trope continues without any explanation. But what probably hurts the most is the fact that they felt the need to give Lesnar the Rumble victory to build to Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania once again. It is absolutely unnecessary. It’s abundantly clear Lesnar will be challenging Roman. So why not give the Rumble match victory to someone who could use it to challenge Bobby Lashley?
Look, you guys know what the deal is. This Rumble match was lazily booked, lazily produced and it looked every bit the part. There was nothing to get excited about, no anticipation and it all lead to a predictable conclusion with a lazy finish and a probable undeserving winner. At least last year with Edge it somewhat makes sense with him coming back and wanting to win what he never lost. But Lesnar does not need a Rumble victory to challenge Roman at WrestleMania. But instead, we meandered through 29 meaningless spots just so we can have more of the same at WrestleMania.
When I think of the worst Rumble matches, 1999, 2014, 2015 and 2017 come to mind. 1999 had some trainwreck appeal in the whole Vince/Austin shtick. 2017 avoided disaster with Orton winning instead of Reigns. 2015 at least had a decent surprise in Bubba Ray Dudley. 2014 was pretty disastrous. But you can go ahead and stick this one right in that bunch. The crowd received some of the stuff well, but that was only for the live experience. This is a Rumble that will be swiftly forgotten, and we will all be better for it. Half a star for the RKO spots from Riddle and Orton. 1/2*
Conclusion:
Just because of the weight of the show, the Royal Rumble will always be impactful, one way or another. This year’s Rumble show had some impact, but not all of it good. You can look at the glass half full and say we got a rock-solid opening title match, a pretty sold Women’s Rumble match and a serviceable undercard. Or, you can look at the glass half empty and say we got a DQ finish in one title match, a heavily choreographed ref bump finish in another world title match, and a disaster of a main event.
I personally will lean towards the middle, perhaps teetering to the latter. I was left wanting so much from this PPV. There was a great deal of promise shown on this card, but ultimately, it just fell flat on its face, which is a damn shame. Ronda Rousey should make for some interesting television in lieu of her return, but the Lesnar win rubbed me the wrong way. I also would have wanted a definitive finish for the Roman/Seth match, even if there may be more to that feud on the horizon. Everything else you can forget and no one would blame you. Overall, a card that had promise, but just ended up disappointing me to a great degree in the end. I don’t want to be negative for the sake of being negative, but when you have to dig hard to find the positives, that’s all I need to know. Thumbs down for Royal Rumble 2022.
