Thursday, June 13, 2024
EditorialWWE 2018 New Year's Resolutions for Superstars

WWE 2018 New Year’s Resolutions for Superstars

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It’s a New Year, yes it is! Today is the day everybody is going to be setting new goals for themselves in the hopes they can summon the energy to change the direction their lives have taken and end 2018 in a better way than they began it. Just the same, there’s always room for changes when it comes to the WWE wrestlers as well.

As such, it’s time to get into the second annual New Year’s resolutions for WWE in general and the superstars who make up the product we all love—or, at times, love to hate.

Keep in mind that none of these will be something like “win a title” because everybody should be striving for things like that. These are more specific things—some humorous, some serious—they can work on over the next few months as far as character, skills, booking plans and more ways they can improve their game.

Big Cass

He’s seven foot tall, and you can’t teach that, but here’s hoping during the time he’ll be away recovering from his injury, Big Cass will learn how to reinvent himself.

Clearly, things didn’t go down the way he and WWE had planned earlier this year with his split from Enzo Amore, but if we’re being honest, it was a struggle even before he was taken out of commission.

Cass’s entrance theme was utter garbage and he absolutely failed to establish any kind of an identity outside of what we were all used to for the past several years. He continued to just be “Enzo Amore’s now former partner”

When he comes back, he needs new ring gear, a new theme, and a character that changes things up a bit, whether it’s as a heel or as a babyface. He can’t just be what he’s always been, because that simply won’t fly.

Tamina

Good lord, Tamina’s goal needs to be to learn how to cut a promo if she’s ever going to get that push that keeps being stalled.

Every time she grabbed a mic this year, it wasn’t just bad, it was horrendous.

With Sarah Logan, she hasn’t had much practice, but Tamina’s been around far long enough that she has no excuse for being that bad, because lacking the skill is one thing, but tanking as poorly as she did is an entirely different animal.

Lio Rush

Simple: think before you tweet. After that, you’re probably good. Stay humble and try your hardest to undo the damage you’ve done to your name backstage.

Finn Balor

With the controversy surrounding whether Balor is “over” enough with the audience, I ask myself more and more often what it is that those people are really drawn to.

Yes, he’s talented in the ring, but no more than a bunch of other guys, along with several others outclassing him, in my opinion. Plus, he has no personality that I can draw from.

That is where his resolution comes in: he can’t depend on putting on some makeup as the only thing people have to look forward to when building a feud. Instead, he needs to work on his character so he can be more than “that guy who wrestles well” and can actually convince WWE to give him something to sink his teeth into.

Then, and only then, will he build up enough good will to get back to the main event status his fans want him to be in.

Elias

I’m so tempted to say he needs a backup singer, but even for the sake of that joke, I like Elias too much to sacrifice how good his act already is.

Instead, give him some groupies. All the ladies want to walk with Elias, right?

Heath Slater and Rhyno

It seems like WWE already has this in mind, as evidenced from Kurt Angle telling them to buck up, but they really need to figure out a way to feed Heath’s kids as they haven’t done jack shit in months.

Slater and Rhyno were somehow the first SmackDown tag team champions. Since then, they’ve been a jobber team that is lucky enough to lose on Main Event, but sometimes can’t even manage that.

To be perfectly honest, I would say the better option is to reinvent Slater while sending Rhyno off the roster, but if they at least change their characters up a bit, that’ll be good enough.

Jason Jordan

All Jordan needs is a full heel turn, which I’m sure WWE realizes they have to do, as they’re clearly building to that.

Then, of course, he needs to reveal that he isn’t actually Kurt Angle’s son, but manipulated the whole situation in an attempt to get special treatment from the Raw GM.

The Good Brothers

Yeesh…these guys have had it rough, and I can’t figure out why.

They came in as big players and major stars, but someone clearly doesn’t value them that way, and they can’t seem to catch a break and ever really do anything anymore.

Their resolution for this year has to be to step up and take the spotlight instead of being okay with just hanging out backstage and wrestling here and there.

Turn babyface. Join up with Balor to form a true Balor Club stable. Go over to SmackDown. Something….anything….just get noticed.

205 Live Division

I can’t help but think the live tour isn’t going to be all that beneficial, and instead, could end up hurting the division more than anything else.

The people who would be interested in seeing the cruiserweights live and paying for a house show in general are the same people who would be watching 205 Live on the WWE Network to begin with.

More so, this division’s resolution needs to be to find a way to appeal to a wider audience so more people tune in to the show itself on Tuesday nights.

Along with that, some people on the roster need to develop more personality, like how the masked stars tend to blend in with each other. There’s nothing separating Lince Dorado, Kalisto, and Gran Metalik to a child or someone who isn’t paying enough attention to notice the differences in their costumes. They’re all just “the masked flippy guy” and that’s not good.

Dana Brooke

Go to SmackDown. You’re not accomplishing anything on Raw, and this stint in Titus Worldwide probably won’t amount to anything, either.

Bobby Roode

Don’t change a thing, except be a heel again the moment it seems like people might start getting bored with you as a babyface. Don’t linger before turning.

Dolph Ziggler

Take some time off.

I hate saying that, as I’m a big fan of his and someone who has been a supporter even when it was cool to hate on him, but he needs it so both sides can take a breath.

During his time away, he can decrease the bitterness he’s felt, while WWE can start to miss him, and when his return happens—be it later in 2018, sometime in 2019 or even in 2020—both will be much happier.

Jinder Mahal

Dude, you went from 3MB to being fired to being a rehired jobber to holding THE title in WWE, and you still couldn’t figure out how to do more than cut one single promo on repeat?

That’s unacceptable, particularly when you have writers who can help.

Take some acting classes and flesh out more aspects of your character so if you ever get another opportunity, it isn’t merely one catchphrase every week. Better people haven’t even gotten away with that in the past.

The Fashion Police

Get some rookies and interns to help you out on cases. Otherwise, keep it up.

Naomi

Don’t let WWE forget about the glow in the dark title belt! You could be getting another title reign and they could get some decent merchandise if you can figure that out. Bug them.

Absolution / The Riott Squad

Just one: stop being copies of each other. Figure out some way—any way—to not appear to be the same generic idea copied and pasted from Raw to SmackDown.

On top of this, though, Paige needs to stop making the types of bad decisions that will adversely affect both her in-ring career and her personal life. It’s time to grow up and stop trying to be the rebellious teenager. Don’t date people who are toxic. Don’t do drugs. Don’t seek attention all the time. Don’t be a brat. It’s not cute, and everyone’s patience will wear thinner and thinner.

The NXT crop from these two stables merely need to work on improving themselves all around. They’re still somewhat new to this whole thing, so it’ll take time, but they can’t lose sight of that just because they’re already on the main roster. This isn’t the time to get lazy and rest on your laurels, it’s the time to make major improvements and prove that you were worth the company betting on you.

TM-61

Come back from this injury sting with some major intensity and hopefully some character, or you’re officially as dead in the water as Buddy Murphy and Wesley Blake seem to be.

Zack Ryder / Curt Hawkins

I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing a reunion of The Major Bros. I’m sure Hawkins feels the same. At this point, I just don’t think Ryder will get a singles push either, so pairing these two up again could at least help the tag team division.

Mae Young Classic Competitors

For all the women who competed in the Mae Young Classic, the biggest resolution they must have in 2018 is to make sure WWE does not forget about them.

Some of them will assuredly still be on the radar due to their popularity and stellar performances, but others might fade away into obscurity, losing their opportunity for a future contract.

Of course, someone like Toni Storm has nothing to worry about, while Candice LeRae will find it easier since her husband, Johnny Gargano, is connected. But when it comes to someone like Kay Lee Ray, generating buzz and getting more positive attention on yourself can only help speed up your chances of coming back to WWE.

Cezar Bononi

Pick a pronunciation to your name and enforce it so everyone says it the same way instead of a million variations.

I’ve heard SEZ-zer, Sez-ZAR, SEE-zar, SAY-zar, Say-ZAR…

I’ve heard Boh-NOH-nee, Boh-NAH-nee, BAH-nah-nee, Bah-NAH-nee…

If you can’t get everybody to say it the same way, change your name. Nobody gets “Chad Gable” wrong.

The Street Profits

Save some of that swag for the rest of us!

Daniel Bryan

Let’s end on a serious note. With the way Daniel Bryan has been talking in interviews, he seems dead set on wrestling no matter what the situation, which may or may not be for WWE.

Even science isn’t an exact science, and it’s impossible to know whether stepping back into the ring is something that could be especially harmful to him or if it’s perfectly within the realm of safety.

Every doctor in the world could tell him that it’s too dangerous and he could wrestle 100 more matches and be perfectly fine, but just as easily, if not more likely, those same doctors can give him the go-ahead and he could wind up suffering horrible injuries, or worse.

None of us know the true extent of his damage, including Bryan himself, so while we might want him to get back in the ring, we have to be okay with the idea that it might not happen.

Bryan has the next few months to make the decision, but he needs to carefully weigh all the options from all the possible angles.

Does he figure out a way to convince WWE to let him wrestle, or does he wrestle elsewhere, knowing that he reaches a wider audience with the juggernaut, but has less creative freedom?

Does he risk his safety and the well-being of his family for his own passions, or does he bite the bullet and stay in the position he’s in so as to maintain his health while still remaining connected to the business he loves?

Nobody has the right answer, but in 2018, it will be crunch time for Bryan to make whatever judgment call he deems necessary, so he needs to go into that decision making process with a clear mind about all the possible avenues.

Those are my suggestions, but what ideas do you have in mind, particularly for the wrestlers who didn’t make my list? Do you have any resolutions for yourself this year? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

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